13Hearts Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 No. I think she's always been so controlling of him and that may be why he cheats. I know he had enough of it and looked up how to go about getting his own bill and locking her out of his phone. She use to crack into his phone all the time. She's the one who wears the pants so I bet me feels like less of a man. And then what could that Lead to? Actually a woman who puts him on a pedestal unlike his wife. Perfect scenerio to seek attention elsewhere. Or, the fact that he cheats is why she's so controlling. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) No. I think she's always been so controlling of him and that may be why he cheats. I know he had enough of it and looked up how to go about getting his own bill and locking her out of his phone. She use to crack into his phone all the time. She's the one who wears the pants so I bet me feels like less of a man. And then what could that Lead to? Actually a woman who puts him on a pedestal unlike his wife. Perfect scenerio to seek attention elsewhere. Oh, lord. OK, we need to start categorizing these MM: She controls him!! better known as the Helpless, Hapless Prince Trope: This MM can be compared to the Dumsel in distress. Much like the princesses in fairy tales and legends, the Helpless, Hapless Prince is best known for being oppressed and controlled by the Ogress known as Wifey. Examples of being controlled by Ogress Wifey may include: not being allowed to have female friends, not allowed to associate with female coworkers, no bar hopping after midnight. In an effort to break free the Helpless Prince is known to seek sexual liberation through the Independent Woman (see I Use To Be Such a Strong Woman Trope) amongst cowokers, soccer moms, and mutual friends. HHP is always viewed as the victim in this affair triangle, and any points to be made otherwise are often swiftly rebutted. He also may have had indiscretions in the past, leading Ogress Wifey to controlling behaviors, but those are also to be ignored. For all of his displays of weakness and submission in the marriage, HHP is irresistible to women who seek to liberate him from his oppression. Helpless, Hapless Prince is a classic case of "If you don't treat your man right, someone else will". My TV Trope infidelity entry. Edited March 13, 2016 by Ms. Faust 3 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 No. I think she's always been so controlling of him and that may be why he cheats. I know he had enough of it and looked up how to go about getting his own bill and locking her out of his phone. She use to crack into his phone all the time. She's the one who wears the pants so I bet me feels like less of a man. And then what could that Lead to? Actually a woman who puts him on a pedestal unlike his wife. Perfect scenerio to seek attention elsewhere. He wants to go "feel like a man," so he goes and cheats? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 Or, the fact that he cheats is why she's so controlling. Could be true. Yes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 He wants to go "feel like a man," so he goes and cheats? Yes. Why would this not make sense? A man feels like a man when his wife meets his needs and their is mutual respect in the R. Clearly no mutual respect here and she withholds sex. Makes sense and perfectly reasonable to me. But I don't know that for sure. Reasonable speculation. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Yes. Why would this not make sense? A man feels like a man when his wife meets his needs and their is mutual respect in the R. Clearly no mutual respect here and she withholds sex. Makes sense and perfectly reasonable to me. But I don't know that for sure. Reasonable speculation. YOU don't know that she withholds sex.. you only have his word for it. Many men who have regular good sex with their wives cheat on them. Cheating is not necessarily about looking for sex, it is sometimes just about looking for "extra". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Cappycorn, how do you justify your victim blaming? Your way of thinking is very dated. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imsosad Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 No. I think she's always been so controlling of him and that may be why he cheats. I know he had enough of it and looked up how to go about getting his own bill and locking her out of his phone. She use to crack into his phone all the time. She's the one who wears the pants so I bet me feels like less of a man. And then what could that Lead to? Actually a woman who puts him on a pedestal unlike his wife. Perfect scenerio to seek attention elsewhere. You do an awful lot of justifying and excusing on his behalf. If she is controlling and witholding sex, what has he done to contribute to her behavior? Not that I would be so quick to believe him. Still, if he wants to feel like a man, how about behaving like a grown up and trying to sort it out by communucating with her? She is so bad,she is pushing him to cheat? And you buy that? Marriages are very rarely in trouble because one spouse is terrible and the other a saint. If he really thinks that he is cheating because his wife is awful, he has a very limited,one dimensional look out on his M. My guss is, his M is ok. His wife is probably ok,too. Not perfect, but neither is he. He cheats because he wants to. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Girl, So what if his wife withholds sex from him?...and? ...Why should that be your problem? You are just giving yourself excuses to continue to sleep with this man. A sad but brutally honest truth is that....There will never be a shortage of women for married men to sleep with. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Yes. Why would this not make sense? A man feels like a man when his wife meets his needs and their is mutual respect in the R. Clearly no mutual respect here and she withholds sex. Makes sense and perfectly reasonable to me. But I don't know that for sure. Reasonable speculation. I guess you and I have a different idea of what's "ok," because I don't think cheating on a spouse is ever ok. If there are problems in the marriage, you work on them. If they're irreconcilable, then you divorce. For him to cheat is to take the low road. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 You do an awful lot of justifying and excusing on his behalf. If she is controlling and witholding sex, what has he done to contribute to her behavior? Not that I would be so quick to believe him. Still, if he wants to feel like a man, how about behaving like a grown up and trying to sort it out by communucating with her? She is so bad,she is pushing him to cheat? And you buy that? Marriages are very rarely in trouble because one spouse is terrible and the other a saint. If he really thinks that he is cheating because his wife is awful, he has a very limited,one dimensional look out on his M. My guss is, his M is ok. His wife is probably ok,too. Not perfect, but neither is he. He cheats because he wants to. Lol to this entire post! People cheat because there marriage is lacking something in a large way. Give me a break please I wasn't born yesterday! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Girl, So what if his wife withholds sex from him?...and? ...Why should that be your problem? You are just giving yourself excuses to continue to sleep with this man. A sad but brutally honest truth is that....There will never be a shortage of women for married men to sleep with. No excuses. I could careless at this point. He's a lier and Cheater and I'm to blame as well for even getting involved with such an act with a married person. It's pretty stupid on my part to begin with. Plan on just moving past this. Hope I don't run into him. I'll spit in his face! Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Lol to this entire post! People cheat because there marriage is lacking something in a large way. That is very untrue, I bet more than 80% of the time. People usually cheat because of their own personal weakness. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 I'll spit in his face! Why? He didn't do anything to you... I thought it was pretty clear (from your original thread title) that you were just a booty call. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 Lol to this entire post! People cheat because there marriage is lacking something in a large way. Give me a break please I wasn't born yesterday! Many of times those who cheat are the ones who are broken inside. It's too easy to blame the marriage. Affairs can happen in good marriages as well. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Many of times those who cheat are the ones who are broken inside. It's too easy to blame the marriage. Affairs can happen in good marriages as well. I'm sure being broken inside does not help and probably puts stress on the marriage. Suppose the saying is true. You can't love anyone else until You love yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 Why? He didn't do anything to you... I thought it was pretty clear (from your original thread title) that you were just a booty call. I know. Guess I thought it would be funny. Also realize I'm not 100% on why people cheat? I've never cheated while in a committed relationship. It's a waste of my time to know the real reasons anyway. Just need to stay far away from married men. Very far away. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 CappyCorny, how are you doing? Are you feeling any better about yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 CappyCorny, how are you doing? Are you feeling any better about yourself? That's really nice of you to ask. Not so great but I've got some internal work to do so hopefully that will help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 That's really nice of you to ask. Not so great but I've got some internal work to do so hopefully that will help. IDK how old you are but one thing I can say for sure is, you have to get very clear about your goals in life. Start a bucket list. Start envisioning what your life is going to be like 5, 10, even 20 years from now. A man is not a goal. A man helps you realize your goals. They have to have purpose and you have to give them that purpose. I think your xMM served his purpose already and you are ready to move forward. ❤❤ 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 IDK how old you are but one thing I can say for sure is, you have to get very clear about your goals in life. Start a bucket list. Start envisioning what your life is going to be like 5, 10, even 20 years from now. A man is not a goal. A man helps you realize your goals. They have to have purpose and you have to give them that purpose. I think your xMM served his purpose already and you are ready to move forward. ❤❤ Yup. But one day at a time 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 21, 2016 Author Share Posted March 21, 2016 ** update. I did not want to bump this thread as now I'm skeptical about posting about this in the first place. So I hear from mm " think she knows". That's it. So now I'm shaking in my shoes. Knows what?? How do You know she knows? Geez why do I need to know this I've stayed away from contacting him!!! Don't get involved with married men ever! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ChickiePops Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 ** update. I did not want to bump this thread as now I'm skeptical about posting about this in the first place. So I hear from mm " think she knows". That's it. So now I'm shaking in my shoes. Knows what?? How do You know she knows? Geez why do I need to know this I've stayed away from contacting him!!! Don't get involved with married men ever! You need to know in case his wife comes looking for you, which she probably will as soon as he throws you under the bus. If I were you, when that happens I would give her exactly what she deserves - answers and a huge apology. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 21, 2016 Author Share Posted March 21, 2016 You need to know in case his wife comes looking for you, which she probably will as soon as he throws you under the bus. If I were you, when that happens I would give her exactly what she deserves - answers and a huge apology. Do you really think she will come looking for me? And tell her eveything? Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 Do you really think she will come looking for me? And tell her eveything? We dont know, you dont know...might as well not live in the what if and yes, you have nothing to lose if you are faced with the situation, apologetically tell her everything. For now, you just greive, and heal. Your clearly in the anger stage, none of this will be easy or fun. Just go through it. Its ok. Let it hurt and it will project you forward. MM usually try to release it from mind and ignore and push it down as if it didnt happen in my opinion. The women cry, and face the pain. The upside is we truly actively greive rather than pushing it away. For them, I believe its revisited as they cant move on without having dealt with it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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