central Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 ... I said becoming a man's sexual outlet was pathetic. Without the relationship part, what does a man provide that electric appliances can't? But not wanting a relationship in general might be cause for concern. Most people do want to be in relationships. ... Maybe they're mutually each other's sexual outlet. Women are sexual beings too, contrary to stereotypical thinking. A man provides creativity, novelty, surprise, and probably even some caring and affection which is essential to a truly pleasurable sexual experience, and those are things electric appliances will never provide. Human contact - even if limited in nature - is far better. And as for wanting a relationship - yes, most people do at some time(s) in their lives, but not all want them all the time, nor is it always appropriate or wise to pursue one when you have other priorities. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Maybe they're mutually each other's sexual outlet. In my opinion, that type of thing is not known as "booty call." Even if the woman is getting pleasure for it, the term precludes any kind of reciprocity. :( If HE were sitting alone in his apartment ready and willing to provide a "sexual outlet" at her convenience, when she didn't have anything to do with her husband, kids, friends, hobbies, TV shows, etc. it would still be a booty call with genders reversed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Note from moderation: this thread has been moved from Dating to the OM/OW forum. For more information, please read: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/other-man-woman/325385-am-i-posting-right-forum-read-here-update-july-30-2013-a Thanks, ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 I believe that you don't want a traditional relationship. But you said you have feelings, and you are here asking questions about the arrangement as if it has more meaning than this: When he has nothing better to do, you let him in your apartment, do the deed, say bye. It's that simple! Think of it sort of as the MacDonald's drive through of sexual relations! (or In n' Out Burger ... sorry I couldn't help myself!! :laugh:) You're the bargain burger, he's the customer. The fact that you are here asking how it works gives me (and evidently most of the other people on this thread) the impression that you think it's something more than ... a booty call. I asked because I came here once before after meeting a guy by chance my first post on this site and you all helped me get passed that rather quick. I've not had very good luck with men recently and there for I'm not interested in a real relationship. Now I'm thinking that this might be why this is the second married man I attracted. I don't know if it's booty call or what? But now it looks like I'm the OW??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Maybe they're mutually each other's sexual outlet. Women are sexual beings too, contrary to stereotypical thinking. A man provides creativity, novelty, surprise, and probably even some caring and affection which is essential to a truly pleasurable sexual experience, and those are things electric appliances will never provide. Human contact - even if limited in nature - is far better. And as for wanting a relationship - yes, most people do at some time(s) in their lives, but not all want them all the time, nor is it always appropriate or wise to pursue one when you have other priorities. Yes each other's sexual pleasure. That's all I've wanted. Ok yes I like him those are feelings. But, are we not suppose to like a guy we are naked with? I mean if one did not like the person they would not be doing the hokey pokey.. Or would they? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I asked because I came here once before after meeting a guy by chance my first post on this site and you all helped me get passed that rather quick. I've not had very good luck with men recently and there for I'm not interested in a real relationship. Now I'm thinking that this might be why this is the second married man I attracted. I don't know if it's booty call or what? But now it looks like I'm the OW??? :laugh: Well, in essence, yes. I'm not sure what's funny about that? As you will see from others in this forum, it's not exactly a fun position to be in. It's not glamorous or sexy. You will quickly learn that your feelings won't matter much to this man. He puts his own needs and desires above everyone else, or he wouldn't be cheating to begin with. Keep that in mind moving forward. Expect plenty of canceled plans and sudden silence. He will likely become very inconsistent with seeing and contacting you, in order to continue hiding his infidelity. And this marriage he is apparently trying to get out of - don't believe it until you see it. Always use protection with this man. You don't know where else he's been. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Checked out of the marriage on about every level. If I had a nickel for everytime, I heard a cheating man laugh about how he told his affair partner he is checked out of his marriage and she bought it, I would have a one foot high pile of nickels. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
RRM321 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Thank you. I don't exactly know what I'm doing clearly and you have valid points. I don't think the wife could call me the aggressor if I was smart enough to save text messages on the days he intimates. One thing that has come to mind now is this. If the wife is so controlling as I mentioned above, then perhaps he's cheated on her before and her lock down of his phone is the due to that. So now as I'm reading back through the posts, could be he is a flat out lier. Currently I don't think there is another booty call babe but, has this happened in the past, it's very possible. Then again he's making that choice to stray. I know I don't love him. Enjoy the company and hook ups for now. I'll probably get bored with it anyway. To the poster who said I was desperate, that's hardly the case. Back up single booty call is present or perhaps a potential relationship. Thing is, I don't want a relationship right now! I think you are ignoring the obvious which is how he chooses to treat and react to people. When a spouse is suspicious the WS can choose to come clean or become a better liar. Your booty master appears to fall into the latter category - and if he can do it with you he can do it to you. Fun sex is not safe sex if you don't know and can't trust how many other partners he actually has. His wife had to have a certain awareness of something if she was inclined to check his phone - changes in his behavior, or existing knowledge of his proclivity. You should not simply dismiss her reactions as controlling because these behaviors are a natural reaction to real cues of danger. A person doesn't have to be pathological to act out controlling behavior. Sometimes it's just a temporary solution to unmasking a demon. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I asked because I came here once before after meeting a guy by chance my first post on this site and you all helped me get passed that rather quick. Since the people here helped you that time, why not take the advice you're getting here now? If you want to have a casual sex arrangement, please find someone who is not in a relationship. That's the best advice you'll get here. Also try to make it more like a "f*** buddy" than a booty call. The booty call girl is just being used. Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Like the sex and his company. My feelings are at a surface level not deep. If they can stay that way that's best. It excites me because it's sort of like, I desire to see you today lets meet. It's random and for the most part not planned out. That excites me. I've never done this before and never imagined I would. It's probably safe to say it's more of an FWB then booty call but what did or do I know about this. Not much. You really should take the good advice from posters. You should find a single man if you just want a booty call. Why mess with a M one that you don't have feelings for. If you develop feelings you will just be hurt when he doesn't have feelings and is just using you. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Why mess with a M one that you don't have feelings for. If you develop feelings you will just be hurt when he doesn't have feelings and is just using you. She already has feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 She already has feelings. No I don't! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 You really should take the good advice from posters. You should find a single man if you just want a booty call. Why mess with a M one that you don't have feelings for. If you develop feelings you will just be hurt when he doesn't have feelings and is just using you. For now it's fun. Let me see how it plays out for a bit. I don't want anything from him in the long term and I don't care if he leaves his wife or not. I do care if there are a handful of Me's because health wise I need to honestly know about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Gigi2015 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 On the booty call train here! Proud? Not really. Exciting? Totally. Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you?[/quote Consider availability as an answer.... Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy47 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 I don't do booty calls. Poppy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 On the booty call train here! Proud? Not really. Exciting? Totally. Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you?[/quote Consider availability as an answer.... I've considered that. It's all strange right now. Might get more strange then I'll just bail. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 No I don't! You said you do have feelings. Look what you wrote: Yeah. Was thinking that too as I do have some feelings Link to post Share on other sites
lftbehind Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 For now it's fun. Let me see how it plays out for a bit. I don't want anything from him in the long term and I don't care if he leaves his wife or not. I do care if there are a handful of Me's because health wise I need to honestly know about that. I didn't mean to sound harsh in my original post, but please want more for yourself that that type of relationship. You may not think that you'll get hurt, but it sounds like you might. It's fun now, but you may look back with a lot of regret and wish that you hadn't had the FWB type of relationships. That's good that you're thinking of the health implications. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 You said you do have feelings. Look what you wrote: I meant I enjoy his company so yes I like him and the sex. But romantic feelings or anything close to love NO way! I have not even heard from him nor have I contacted him since the last time. It goes in spurts. People here keep advocating safe sex and yes of course I do that always. I can pretty much say that with his job schedule and not even really knowing how to do all this whatever it is With me, there are no others at the moment. In the past? Probably. But I'm not looking for anything really from him so if he did not contact me again no big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 18, 2016 Author Share Posted February 18, 2016 Ok this guy is no acting like a complete a di*k. I text him about the plans to meet next week because we need to determine the location and he just wanted me to text pics. Asked me to text pics then he'd call. Well like an idiot I did and then the clean yet sexy pics I sent were not enough kept asking for more. The deal was the pics and he would call! He never called. I write him back that he pissed me off. Geez! Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted February 18, 2016 Share Posted February 18, 2016 Sorry but this sounds so high school. Why is it even in this section? You aren't a OW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 Sorry but this sounds so high school. Why is it even in this section? You aren't a OW I kind of thought that not Ow but it got moved here. Yes it sounds hs I'm pretty mad at myself now. Link to post Share on other sites
Gigi2015 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 On the booty call train here! Proud? Not really. Exciting? Totally. Can I handle this IDK? What's the deal with booty call anyway? And what's the deal with when I ask him why me? He says there is just something about you? The deal with a booty call is you get you be the masturbating machine. No more no less. No respect or consideration. I'm only saying this so you get what you're signing up for. I mean no disrespect. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 19, 2016 Author Share Posted February 19, 2016 The deal with a booty call is you get you be the masturbating machine. No more no less. No respect or consideration. I'm only saying this so you get what you're signing up for. I mean no disrespect. Yes I'd tend to agree with that now that I've explored the true meaning of a booty call. So now get this. The texts went back and forth tonight and we'll it appears he claims to have feelings. He stated he is not sure what's in his head except that being with me is so special to him that it drives him crazy as I'm all he thinks about. Well darn. I did not want to hear that. Not looking for a relationship with any depth at this point. So now I really feeling like running away, however, I like to be with him too??? What's wrong with me? Link to post Share on other sites
Gigi2015 Posted February 19, 2016 Share Posted February 19, 2016 Yes I'd tend to agree with that now that I've explored the true meaning of a booty call. So now get this. The texts went back and forth tonight and we'll it appears he claims to have feelings. He stated he is not sure what's in his head except that being with me is so special to him that it drives him crazy as I'm all he thinks about. Well darn. I did not want to hear that. Not looking for a relationship with any depth at this point. So now I really feeling like running away, however, I like to be with him too??? What's wrong with me? First know that in order to say something like "I'm all he thinks about", there has to be proof. A consistency of behaviors(not only sexually related) is not difficult to determine. What are the texts about? When does he contact you? What happens after sex?, etc. if all you want is a physical relationship and viceversa, don't assign qualities to the relationship which don't exist outside the confines of a consensual sexual agreement. Even here boundaries must be set. Talk to him. Express what you think and want...decide if you want to be mutually sexually exclusive and nothing more. Protect yourself from STD's. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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