SoleMate Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 OP, you have to love yourself first. Treat yourself right first. Only then can you be in a shape to find a man to also treat you right. It seems your self esteem may be at a low ebb, in which case letting a MM mistreat you in the horrible way you've described.......is hurting you. I really recommend stopping and getting a therapist to work on self-esteem, decision making, and how people should treat each other. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 (edited) Girl, Don't do this to yourself. I know it's easier said than done but don't give yourself to a married man. The damage it does to your esteem is almost irreparable and for what? So a man can use you for his sexual release? We have all fallen for that person who isn't right for us (married or un-married) but married men are so much worse. Men in general do not need feelings to have sex with a woman; heck they only need to be horny. It’s not even flattering that a man wants to sleep with a woman because he probably wants to sleep with you and 2000 others. What’s so special about that? Us women should stop allowing men (whether they are married or not) use us as replaceable sexual objects. I've been celibate for 5 years because i have decided that if a man will not commit himself to me then i will not give him my body and why should i? Do i not have sexual needs? Absolutely, but my body is worth more than a quick ONS. I have searched the internet and there has been no record that a person died for lack of sex. So not having sex will not cause me to have a heart attack or stroke. I wish more women would stop giving their bodies freely to men who feel nothing for them. At the end of the day, 90% of the time, the women are the ones who always end up getting hurt. Edited February 20, 2016 by loveisanaction Grammatical Error... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 And this guy isn't treating you like a piece of meat? Right now you're nothing but a sex receptacle for him. There's no love or respect here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 OP, you have to love yourself first. Treat yourself right first. Only then can you be in a shape to find a man to also treat you right. It seems your self esteem may be at a low ebb, in which case letting a MM mistreat you in the horrible way you've described.......is hurting you. I really recommend stopping and getting a therapist to work on self-esteem, decision making, and how people should treat each other. I do love myself. I love myself enough to see that a piece of meat I'm not. Especially the way this mm is acting. I don't think it's fair to say that people who are single and desire a FWB or no strings R have low selfesteem? I think they knoe what they want and in the present moment living true to their needs. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 I do love myself. I love myself enough to see that a piece of meat I'm not. Especially the way this mm is acting. I don't think it's fair to say that people who are single and desire a FWB or no strings R have low selesteem? I think they no what they want and in the present moment living true to their needs. But your needs being met, are not about being treated roughly, having his blank shoved in your mouth first thing and being treated like a free prostitute, are they? What are YOU really getting out of this, I suggest not a lot and that is why you need to stop it, before he gets rougher and more demanding. It IS I am sure possible to have a good relationship with a MM, a good FWB experience and a good ONS, even a good booty call, but here HE is getting the good bit and YOU are just being used. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 But your needs being met, are not about being treated roughly, having his blank shoved in your mouth first thing and being treated like a free prostitute, are they? What are YOU really getting out of this, I suggest not a lot and that is why you need to stop it, before he gets rougher and more demanding. It IS I am sure possible to have a good relationship with a MM, a good FWB experience and a good ONS, even a good booty call, but here HE is getting the good bit and YOU are just being used. Yes!!!!! I agree! So I'm getting out of it. Thank god for this amazing site. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 And this guy isn't treating you like a piece of meat? Right now you're nothing but a sex receptacle for him. There's no love or respect here. Exactly. OP, I don't see how this man isn't doing the same thing. You wanted him to call you the other night. He requested pics first. And then never called. What does that tell you? He brought you to his house, because that's how callous he is about all of this. It's super-convenient, he can't even be bothered to get a freakin' motel room. It's all about his needs, his desires...not yours. He is treating you like a piece of meat. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Summer3 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Yes!!!!! I agree! So I'm getting out of it. Thank god for this amazing site. I do hope you cut this man out of your life. You seem like a nice person don't let yourself become someones toilet paper. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 I do hope you cut this man out of your life. You seem like a nice person don't let yourself become someones toilet paper. Thank you for saying I am a nice person that is true. Yes. Consider the deed of removing him done. I can't be bothered with a man like this. Not only the married part, the fact that he treats me like pond scum now. Truly sweet talked me but good! Let him hang his rear with some other lady. I suggest he search out downtown for the single hoes who want a controlling sleeze bag to pound them! Not me! NO more! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Summer3 Posted February 20, 2016 Share Posted February 20, 2016 Thank you for saying I am a nice person that is true. Yes. Consider the deed of removing him done. I can't be bothered with a man like this. Not only the married part, the fact that he treats me like pond scum now. Truly sweet talked me but good! Let him hang his rear with some other lady. I suggest he search out downtown for the single hoes who want a controlling sleeze bag to pound them! Not me! NO more! He's probably a narcissistic guy who gets his kicks from trying to sleep with as many women as possible. Of course he's going to say things to make you feel special. If he didn't you wouldn't sleep with him. I'm sure deep down part of you knew what he was saying was a lie but you wanted to believe the lie. It's not your fault. It's nice to feel desirable and special. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 20, 2016 Author Share Posted February 20, 2016 He's probably a narcissistic guy who gets his kicks from trying to sleep with as many women as possible. Of course he's going to say things to make you feel special. If he didn't you wouldn't sleep with him. I'm sure deep down part of you knew what he was saying was a lie but you wanted to believe the lie. It's not your fault. It's nice to feel desirable and special. I think narcisstic for sure but honestly, he seems very novice at this. Don't think there are others at the moment! However, once I ditch him I'm sure he will have a new one. Who will want to deal with that for long? My guess a paid prostitute. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Darn it! As I just looked at the above post thinking like how could I have thought I have all this power to end it I am weak. I text him wed like he asked. Then I text again today because we made a plan to get together and I've missed the sex, but he did not even reply at all? He's done this before. I don't get him and I can't seem to walk away. Help!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Well I text again because I've been afraid we've been caught and that's why no comtact. He says no we are good. I text back. Yeah well I'm sorry to inform you I'm not really into this. No reply so that might have taken care of that. If anyone is reading. Help me stay strong and get rid of his number. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted February 26, 2016 Share Posted February 26, 2016 Well I text again because I've been afraid we've been caught and that's why no comtact. He says no we are good. I text back. Yeah well I'm sorry to inform you I'm not really into this. No reply so that might have taken care of that. If anyone is reading. Help me stay strong and get rid of his number. Help me stay strong and get rid of his number. -- Delete it right now and block him while you are in this mindset! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted February 26, 2016 Author Share Posted February 26, 2016 Help me stay strong and get rid of his number. -- Delete it right now and block him while you are in this mindset! I tried! I can't seem to do it. I bet with a little wine in me after work I can do it. Lol. This is tough. I think I only like the sex because it validates me in some way and that's an internal issue. I keep thinking how last week when I said your wife is pretty.. He said yeah she's a dish! I was about to say then why the hell am I here? Eveything is on his terms and I don't like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 Oh sweet! Now I'm dumped. I'll admit I did not really want to get into it any further, but the rejection yet again wow!! I'm not taking it lightly! What the he*ll?? Link to post Share on other sites
imperfectangel Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 I think the reason is obvious - he's MARRIED. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 Oh sweet! Now I'm dumped. I'll admit I did not really want to get into it any further, but the rejection yet again wow!! I'm not taking it lightly! What the he*ll?? Why do you need a reason? You don't need to bother feeling rejected. He didn't reject you; it has nothing to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 (edited) Yeah I always assumed when getting involved with a married or attached person that you may be dumped at any time, with no explanation. Kinda how it works.... When I had my "D day" and sent the other man a text "I won't be speaking to, or seeing you again" my partner questioned the lack of response from the other man... I said he (the other man) knew what he was getting involved in, and knew that "this" (getting dropped like a bad habit ) might happen at any time. That's kinda how it works if you are [an affair participant]. Edited March 5, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 A reason would be nice is all to move on. Really feel used bad. No more married men ever. I'm making sure not to put any radar out there to men like this. There is probably someone else and the fact that he did not give a flying you know what about me as a person is really awful! I did not love him but I liked him enough to engage and now this? That's all I'm saying. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 (edited) Yeah I always assumed when getting involved with a married or attached person that you may be dumped at any time, with no explanation. Kinda how it works.... When I had my "D day" and sent the other man a text "I won't be speaking to, or seeing you again" my partner questioned the lack of response from the other man... I said he (the other man) knew what he was getting involved in, and knew that "this" (getting dropped like a bad habit ) might happen at any time. That's kinda how it works if you are [an affair participant] . I was an on again off again [affair partner] and that sucks! Should have known better. Edited March 6, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language in quote~T Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 A reason would be nice is all to move on. Really feel used bad. No more married men ever. I'm making sure not to put any radar out there to men like this. There is probably someone else and the fact that he did not give a flying you know what about me as a person is really awful! I did not love him but I liked him enough to engage and now this? That's all I'm saying. Don't worry, he'll be back. There is no reason. It's just what he decided to do for right now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 Don't worry, he'll be back. There is no reason. It's just what he decided to do for right now. Well I'm not into this kind of thing then. Guess I've found out that I might have to just suck it up and look for a real relationship which I know is a headache more often then not. Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted March 3, 2016 Share Posted March 3, 2016 In my experience a lot of MM in affairs are....."chicken ****" That's why they're in that situation to begin with! Maybe he had a close call with his W or something happened (Valentines?) that made him feel more guilty than usual. I'm assuming yours wasn't the sociopathic serial cheater type. (It's probably a new shiny OW if he is) He will probably come sniffing back around when things calm down or he's not feeling like the 'Oh so special center of her universe' because one of the kids is sick or something.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cappycorny Posted March 3, 2016 Author Share Posted March 3, 2016 In my experience a lot of MM in affairs are....."chicken ****" That's why they're in that situation to begin with! Maybe he had a close call with his W or something happened (Valentines?) that made him feel more guilty than usual. I'm assuming yours wasn't the sociopathic serial cheater type. (It's probably a new shiny OW if he is) He will probably come sniffing back around when things calm down or he's not feeling like the 'Oh so special center of her universe' because one of the kids is sick or something.... Lol. You're words made me laugh. I think what hurts the most is it was the first time we had real sex at his house. Since last spring it was woods, car, meeting in odd places. Then he gets me coming to the house and it was freaky but nice. So I feel like perhaps that real more intimate sex I was not good enough? I'm internalizing it big time and it's killing my self esteem. Although, it made me work out twice as hard today. Thing with him is, last time at his house he said to me when talking well if all was ok with the wife you wouldn't be here. Ok. That makes sense. But I also got a sense that things were not so bad and that he really just wants some excitement. Link to post Share on other sites
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