Married man dumped me no reason given?

[elaine567]

Lol. You're words made me laugh. I think what hurts the most is it was the first time we had real sex at his house. Since last spring it was woods, car, meeting in odd places. Then he gets me coming to the house and it was freaky but nice. So I feel like perhaps that real more intimate sex I was not good enough? I'm internalizing it big time and it's killing my self esteem. Although, it made me work out twice as hard today. Thing with him is, last time at his house he said to me when talking well if all was ok with the wife you wouldn't be here. Ok. That makes sense. But I also got a sense that things were not so bad and that he really just wants some excitement.

This is the guy who sticks his blank in your mouth as soon as you show up, is rough with you, and treats you like a free prostitute, I thought you were going to dump him?

[Cappycorny]

This is the guy who sticks his blank in your mouth as soon as you show up, is rough with you, and treats you like a free prostitute, I thought you were going to dump him?

 

Yeah I was. But I was having a bad time I admit I liked the excitement of it all.

[Cappycorny]

I just got my reason. He text back that sooner or later we'd get caught and he could not deal with it. He said it was not you at all and I'll remember you with a big smile. Take care of yourself. How sweet! Jesus.. I'm a fool!

[privategal]

I think the reason is obvious - he's MARRIED.

I dont think thats fair to say to a new member needing support. You may have not meant to be patronizing but clearly she knows hes married and still needs support since she is posting in ow/om forum its a little insensitive to drive home the obvious when she is on day one of him ending it. Lets support new comers in pain.

[elaine567]

I dont think thats fair to say to a new member needing support. You may have not meant to be patronizing but clearly she knows hes married and still needs support since she is posting in ow/om forum its a little insensitive to drive home the obvious when she is on day one of him ending it. Lets support new comers in pain.

 

Yes, but the fact he is married IS the reason for the split, as we have now been informed - he is scared of getting caught.

[Ms. Faust]

Yes. But you would think a f buddy would get a more than I can't do this. That's a reason I guess..but a chicken **** way out. Can't even say why all of a sudden since its been going on since last spring???

 

He's a f*ck buddy. He doesn't owe you a thing. He was generous giving you a reason. No point to dwell over a f*ck buddy.

[Dancewithme]

I dont think thats fair to say to a new member needing support. You may have not meant to be patronizing but clearly she knows hes married and still needs support since she is posting in ow/om forum its a little insensitive to drive home the obvious when she is on day one of him ending it. Lets support new comers in pain.

 

Support is not always rainbows and unicorn,and sweetness, sometimes it is pointing out the obvious. And sometimes the obvious cannot be really seen clearly until a moment of pain. And, like they say, sometimes the truth hurts.

[Cappycorny]

He's a f*ck buddy. He doesn't owe you a thing. He was generous giving you a reason. No point to dwell over a f*ck buddy.

 

I know. I'm crying now because I'll miss it. I'll miss what ever f*cked up mess we had. I must have some feelings the text made me mad at first then cry.

[Cappycorny]

He's a f*ck buddy. He doesn't owe you a thing. He was generous giving you a reason. No point to dwell over a f*ck buddy.

 

I'm all for the truth and I can except it hurting its just hard. Pat's on the back and support help. So does the more harsh stuff. It's a balance of info I think that helps here. At least since I've been reading for only a short time.

[13Hearts]

I know. I'm crying now because I'll miss it. I'll miss what ever f*cked up mess we had. I must have some feelings the text made me mad at first then cry.

 

Hon, don't cry over a man. And especially not a married one. It makes your eyes puffy. Now go put some ice on your eyes for a little while so you don't look tired and sad tomorrow.

[Ms. Faust]

I know. I'm crying now because I'll miss it. I'll miss what ever f*cked up mess we had. I must have some feelings the text made me mad at first then cry.

 

You must have, else you would not be wasting your time crying. Think of it this way: He didn't think twice to dump you like a hot potato. Do you want to cry over someone like that?

 

Anyway, he'll probably be back when he gets horny, anyway... since that is how he sees you, sadly.

[Ms. Faust]

I'm all for the truth and I can except it hurting its just hard. Pat's on the back and support help. So does the more harsh stuff. It's a balance of info I think that helps here. At least since I've been reading for only a short time.

 

I definitely don't mean to be harsh... I guess it kind of boggles my mind when OW come here and say "oh, I was just using him for sex..." and then go on to ponder his feelings, miss him, mourn his loss, etc etc. If he truly was a FWB, one night stand, f* buddy, what have you, you would not even be giving him enough thought to create threads and post about him. I have had many guys like that in my past.... some of which I can't even tell you their names.

 

But when you set yourself up as a FWB or f* buddy it is a totally different animal than your typical OW. He truly owes you nothing. That is the nature of the relationship. So when it's run its course... well, he doesn't need to explain anything. He didn't promise you anything except a good romp, and it sounds like he kept his word on that.

 

Now it's over, he'll probably be back, just learn your lesson and keep your feelings in check. That really is the best you can do if you want to partake in a casual relationship.

[Cappycorny]

Hon, don't cry over a man. And especially not a married one. It makes your eyes puffy. Now go put some ice on your eyes for a little while so you don't look tired and sad tomorrow.

 

You have a big heart I can tell. Thank you.

[Ms. Faust]

Sorry to message bomb your thread, but upon thinking about it, I would do this:

 

Ask yourself, what is it exactly that you are upset about? What is it about your relationship that you would miss? Was it the sex? The ease of the sex? The way he made you feel? Was it the circumstances, going around behind someone's back being exciting? Because all of those things are easily resolved. There are so many ways to casually hook up with someone if you are female, you have your pick of the litter. A lot of OW/M get caught up in the idea "but the sex with blahblah was so amazing!!!" But the truth is, wonderful sex is really easy to come by.

 

Or are you missing feelings he invoked in you? Did you think that maybe what you had was something more? Did you feel even the slightest inclination of it being more casual? We know it isn't because he gave you no reason... because he ended up texting you a reason, and now you are even more unhappy.

 

That's what I would do... isolate exactly why I feel the way I do and work on addressing those feelings.

[Cappycorny]

I definitely don't mean to be harsh... I guess it kind of boggles my mind when OW come here and say "oh, I was just using him for sex..." and then go on to ponder his feelings, miss him, mourn his loss, etc etc. If he truly was a FWB, one night stand, f* buddy, what have you, you would not even be giving him enough thought to create threads and post about him. I have had many guys like that in my past.... some of which I can't even tell you their names.

 

But when you set yourself up as a FWB or f* buddy it is a totally different animal than your typical OW. He truly owes you nothing. That is the nature of the relationship. So when it's run its course... well, he doesn't need to explain anything. He didn't promise you anything except a good romp, and it sounds like he kept his word on that.

 

Now it's over, he'll probably be back, just learn your lesson and keep your feelings in check. That really is the best you can do if you want to partake in a casual relationship.

 

You give great advice very clear and I thank you for it. What I learned from this FWB stuff, thought I was made of steal in the emotions department, but heck no! Not even close. Is it really possible to meet up with a guy you generally like overall, share intimate moments. Talk about personal stuff and not have some real feelings? I bet no! Unless your 20 playing the field and have a lot of years ahead before this kind of relationship is one day a vauge memory. So in conclusion, I think it all can go south pretty quick and people can get in to deep. Heck he might have loved me in his own little way I'll never know? I caved and texted back that I'll miss him. I know I did not like a couple of sexual things he did, but I was planning on telling him that to see if he would not mind trying things another way. The excitement, fun and bonding I enjoyed. All wrong but all true.

[Cappycorny]

Sorry to message bomb your thread, but upon thinking about it, I would do this:

 

Ask yourself, what is it exactly that you are upset about? What is it about your relationship that you would miss? Was it the sex? The ease of the sex? The way he made you feel? Was it the circumstances, going around behind someone's back being exciting? Because all of those things are easily resolved. There are so many ways to casually hook up with someone if you are female, you have your pick of the litter. A lot of OW/M get caught up in the idea "but the sex with blahblah was so amazing!!!" But the truth is, wonderful sex is really easy to come by.

 

Or are you missing feelings he invoked in you? Did you think that maybe what you had was something more? Did you feel even the slightest inclination of it being more casual? We know it isn't because he gave you no reason... because he ended up texting you a reason, and now you are even more unhappy.

 

That's what I would do... isolate exactly why I feel the way I do and work on addressing those feelings.

 

Bomb away lady:laugh: I can tell you this. The sneaking was appealing god how exciting. Sadly, romping another woman's husband a thrill ( hangs head in shame). The sex? I've had much better. His personality? Unique, quirky and filled with fun. The way he looked at me, made me feel on top of the highest mountain in the world. Lots of things. Love? No. Friendship with excititment and being naughty.. Yeah.

[Cappycorny]

And I'm crying because he came back once and this time I'm afraid he won't come back! And now I'm thinking what if it's all a lie and there is someone else? But I highly doubt that because he does not seemed seasoned with affairs. Heck I'm certainly not, but I guess I naturally knew more about how to go about it then he did. Do you think there is a new OW??

[13Hearts]

And I'm crying because he came back once and this time I'm afraid he won't come back! And now I'm thinking what if it's all a lie and there is someone else? But I highly doubt that because he does not seemed seasoned with affairs. Heck I'm certainly not, but I guess I naturally knew more about how to go about it then he did. Do you think there is a new OW??

 

Could be there's another. It's not unheard of.

 

He'll be back. They always come back.

 

The thing about being FWB with a man is, men can do it and move on, no big deal. And in that situation, they expect you are going to be as casual about it all as they are. But we women can't, can we? I think we're wired differently. We women are forward-thinkers. We are creative and like to make plans. We get to know someone and we can see clearly what are the possibilities. Meanwhile, men don't see possibilities, they focus on the sex, spending money on you, etc, and future-fake to keep you engaged and giving them good feelings. But always under the assumption that you KNOW they are not leaving their wives.

[Ms. Faust]

Bomb away lady:laugh: I can tell you this. The sneaking was appealing god how exciting. Sadly, romping another woman's husband a thrill ( hangs head in shame).

 

There's nothing to be ashamed about. You're not the first, and certainly not going to be the last. Aside from the euphoria that one gets from a new relationship, anyway, being involved with someone who is married can be exciting, romanticized, heart pounding, etc.

 

From what you described it sounds like a FWB relationship. F* buddies tend to not really share intimate conversations and what not, at least not in my experience. As I posted in a past thread, I would not even want someone where I had that type of relationship to stay the night with me.

 

I have an acquaintance who has a list of f* buddies that he met off of Craigslist. These are not really women that he socializes with, or even likes to be associated with outside of their encounter.

 

The guy who gave me my most incredible orgasm was a f*buddy. He had spent the evening explaining a specific technique to make a woman cum, and then he tried it on me. It was amazing!! But it was nothing more than a great sexual experience.

 

I think FWB are the ones who walk the line more of experiencing what you are feeling now, and I would go so far as to say that FWB very rarely work because someone is bound to get attached. You all have not been involved very long (from my understanding). Had it continued longer I can bet that this booty call relationship would have turned to much, much more.

 

And I'm crying because he came back once and this time I'm afraid he won't come back!

That's a good thing. Married men are troublesome.

 

And now I'm thinking what if it's all a lie and there is someone else?... Do you think there is a new OW??

 

You're working yourself up and borrowing trouble. Don't speculate these things, what good does it do? I know it is easier said than done, but it is best to let it go.

 

If you absolutely feel you need more closure/resolution then I would advise to hit him up and ask him. It may make you feel better, but more than likely not so I would be prepared for the fallout (feeling you looked pathetic, getting in deeper, hearing what you don't want to hear, etc).

 

But really, no contact at this point is best.

Edited March 4, 2016 by Ms. Faust

[Cappycorny]

Could be there's another. It's not unheard of.

 

He'll be back. They always come back.

 

The thing about being FWB with a man is, men can do it and move on, no big deal. And in that situation, they expect you are going to be as casual about it all as they are. But we women can't, can we? I think we're wired differently. We women are forward-thinkers. We are creative and like to make plans. We get to know someone and we can see clearly what are the possibilities. Meanwhile, men don't see possibilities, they focus on the sex, spending money on you, etc, and future-fake to keep you engaged and giving them good feelings. But always under the assumption that you KNOW they are not leaving their wives.

 

I think he might come back around too. But I have to dig deep because I can't go back an forth like a ping pong ball. He's either in or out. I know I'm already a side dish and with him it was really great. I'm not sure he future faked anything. We had known one another many years through our kids sports and it just happened to be that one day last summer at a game where he grabbed my phone and inserted his number. It all started out stressful to begin with since his fear of not knowing how to safe guard his email and phone from wife were stressors from the start. I believe she wears the pants in the family and I'm not sure he likes being controlled. First meetings were about how beautiful I was and how longer for me. My personality, attitude the whole package stood out to him in this small little town. That was all nice. The attraction was there from the start for years we gravitated towards each other. He is an aqua male and I give merit to astrology somewhat hence my username I'm 100% Capricorn. So we had a little friendship before the hook ups started and had plenty of conversations were he said, it could be just you and me baby. I was spooked by that, but I liked it because I liked being around him.

[Cappycorny]

There's nothing to be ashamed about. You're not the first, and certainly not going to be the last. Aside from the euphoria that one gets from a new relationship, anyway, being involved with someone who is married can be exciting, romanticized, heart pounding, etc.

 

From what you described it sounds like a FWB relationship. F* buddies tend to not really share intimate conversations and what not, at least not in my experience. As I posted in a past thread, I would not even want someone where I had that type of relationship to stay the night with me.

 

I have an acquaintance who has a list of f* buddies that he met off of Craigslist. These are not really women that he socializes with, or even likes to be associated with outside of their encounter.

 

The guy who gave me my most incredible orgasm was a f*buddy. He had spent the evening explaining a specific technique to make a woman cum, and then he tried it on me. It was amazing!! But it was nothing more than a great sexual experience.

 

I think FWB are the ones who walk the line more of experiencing what you are feeling now, and I would go so far as to say that FWB very rarely work because someone is bound to get attached. You all have not been involved very long (from my understanding). Had it continued longer I can bet that this booty call relationship would have turned to much, much more.

 

 

That's a good thing. Married men are troublesome.

 

 

 

You're working yourself up and borrowing trouble. Don't speculate these things, what good does it do? I know it is easier said than done, but it is best to let it go.

 

If you absolutely feel you need more closure/resolution then I would advise to hit him up and ask him. It may make you feel better, but more than likely not so I would be prepared for the fallout (feeling you looked pathetic, getting in deeper, hearing what you don't want to hear, etc).

 

But really, no contact at this point is best.

 

I think it's best not to contact him anytime soon. I'm not planing to find another FWB or anyone for a while. I'll wait it out a bit and see. If he does not come back then he probably solved his issues. If he does, then I think he needs to be clear on what is giong on in his life that keeps driving him toward me. It might be deeper than I thought. I'm opened minded enough to entertain anything.

[Cappycorny]

Feeling really down today. When does that end??

[privategal]

Feeling really down today. When does that end??

It takes a really, really, really, really, really, REALLY looonng time, then some more time. It will not end any time in the near future so settle in for some long enduring pain.

[Sassy Girl]

Bomb away lady:laugh: I can tell you this. The sneaking was appealing god how exciting. Sadly, romping another woman's husband a thrill ( hangs head in shame). The sex? I've had much better. His personality? Unique, quirky and filled with fun. The way he looked at me, made me feel on top of the highest mountain in the world. Lots of things. Love? No. Friendship with excititment and being naughty.. Yeah.

 

You need to go to counselling to examine this. You say shame so you know right from wrong but none of that stopped you... Why?

 

One day you'll be married to a man you love and remember that there are women out there just like this.

Edited March 5, 2016 by Sassy Girl

[13Hearts]

Feeling really down today. When does that end??

 

If you want to feel better, you can, very easily. But you have to really want to.