lilmoma1973 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Hey all , I have a ? to ask.. my h is in a band and played out sat and we haven't been on the best of terms lately.. He came in on wednesday before his gig being all loving and touching me and grabbing me etc.. I said nicely whats with all this affection and he said"i have been doing some thinking and i think we need to be more loving and i totally agreed.. i thought him acting this way was odd we haven't been very affectionate lately always arguing about issues in the home ss having no respect no chores always running and i thinking he needs to do more chores etc.. I am always the bad guy cause i try to be the parent and he tries to be the friend.. It is the same way with our 5 yr old also.. Then the next day he calls me on the phone saying "you want me to pick something to eat up?" I said why ? I said you have no where to be h said yes i do.. I said i thought you wasn't having band practice!! he said i told you !! i was pissed he never has practice when they have a gig .. I figured out where all the nice nice **** was coming from cause he knew he was having practice and knew i would be pissed... i wanted to go out to eat instead of cooking.. i had cooked all week and i was ready for a break .. we went out to eat and he was being all nice and i was pissed and being quiet.. He went to practice then came home after 12 and still being loving and all .. He got up was cleaning and he hardly does that usually on the computer trying to get gigs looking at my space and all.. He was nice all weekend till the gig was over and then when sunday came he was back to his hateful hard to get along self.. Do you think he was feeling guilty thats why he was being loving? He went with us to our friends house for a cookout and stayed in the house and slept on the couch a little while we was outside in the pool having a good time.. He did eat with us but that was it.. I thought he would have been in the pool with us since he didn't see us much sat we went swimming .. but he didn't .. He works out in the hot and he said it was too hot!! i think he cares more for the band than me and my daughter.. He always trying to make this work but puts forth half the effort in this marriage sometimes i think i am beating my head up against the wall.. He doesn't want me at the gigs and says im too closedminded.. What do you think?.. Is it men in general or am i fighting a losing battle.. He says all he is trying to do is be somebody in this world and make a better future for us .. He thinks money = happiness .. I think people that rich are more miserable than poor people.. I use to go to his gigs before now im closedminded and all and negative whatever. I think h is afraid i might get too much attention .. who knows im not ugly not being conceded .. i take vey well care of myself and exercise and dress nice.. he says im a snob i don't get it im just like anyone else. my mil says im a snob i say she is a redneck .. i wear makeup and take care of myself and i am a snob.. wtf ever!! no im not no barbie doll type i just think apperance is everything and first impressions.. I probably get bashed just want opinions on if i am right or just overreacting... Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Hi, does your husband do this often? Meaning hes not real loving unless he wants something or has or is going to do something? You said he was loving and cleaning prior to this band gig he had, then went right back to being hateful. Then yeah it sounds as if he was doing it just because he had something coming up he wanted to do. He knew you didn't care for it so he thought he would go out of his way to please you for the time being. My hubby has done that before too. He will be extra nice or go out of his way to say or do something very nice because he has either done something or is goingt oo theat he shouldn't. You said he went with you to a friends house to a cookout and he stayed inside? So he was only around you and your friends just to eat? Seems like maybe he didn't want to be there. Did he come because you asked or because it was something he wanted to do? I think you should talk with your husband more and let him know how all this makes you feel. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author lilmoma1973 Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 thanks jade for your reply.. i have talked with my h last night why he went if he didn't want to be there .. he didn't say he didn't awant to be there and i said it sure did seem like it cause you was inside.. i think he didn't want to be there but because he went to the gig and i didn't he thought he should ..i moved the post because i haven't got in respnses thought it would get more in marriage thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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