Would you marry someone who has been unfaithful?

[Raena]

The things is, when you are ready to start seriously considering things like this you are already biased toward him/her so you can't really trust your gut instinct. I agree that your instincts are important but the time to make this decision is when you first consider committing to each other exclusively. That's the time to discuss things like this and then to consider whether you still want to be with this person.

 

That was my point... I'm pretty sure my gut instincts would kick in before making a commitment and I'd know long before a marriage proposal.

[puzzleddad67]

HELL TO THE NAW!

 

#apologiestobishopbullwinkle

[Rejected Rosebud]

Yes. I cheated, and my guy is marrying me. I am never going to cheat again. Whether Internet people believe that or not, I know it and he knows it.

 

It was a horrendous experience for me and I learned from it. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[HereNorThere]

No, I wouldn't but for the most part I am a scientist who lives life by the numbers. Deep down, I know that statistically it isn't very likely that someone who is a capable of long-term deception is going to work out in a relationship. Second and third marriages already have a much higher chance at failure than first marriages and once you add that in with infidelity, you're looking at close to a 75% chance of failure. Those are just not odds most of us are willing to play with someone who literally has the power to pull the plug on you when the times comes.

 

The good news is that not everyone is like me. Since nearly 50% of men cheat themselves, chances are that most cheaters will find like-minded people who can rationalize cheating in the same way. You just have to be honest with yourself and choose people who you are compatible with; the same way a faithful person would.

[health]

First of all, after finding out the expense and the difficulty of getting a divorce after catching my Ex cheating, I will never remarry.

 

 

To rephrase the question, "Would I let myself go and risk falling in love with a cheater?" The answer is most definitely yes. It all depends on the situation. From my observation, there are a number of husbands who by their actions deserve to be cheated on.

 

That's kinda scary. So you would knowingly get with a girl who is cheating on her husband because he deserved it? Say he cheated on her before?

 

Personally I would never in my life get involved with any aspect of cheating on any side.

 

I do think that when both parties cheat, it's chaos anyway. It's different from a situation where say the wife was always loyal and the husband cheats - that's the ultimate betrayal - cheating on a loving and loyal person.

 

The thing is - say you'd just get with a woman cause her husband deserved it - what if she was feeding you lies and her husband was actually a good dude?

 

It is what it is - but to me, I wouldn't feed into any aspect of cheating.

[Tahirthegreat]

Nope, it wouldnt be worth the risk. If she wasnt satisfied with one man before, then Im not going to put myself in that position.

[Almond_Joy]

If you met someone whom you really liked to the point of considering marriage , they told you right off the bat that they committed infidelity but have repented and will never do it again .

Will you trust them and still want a relationship with them ?

 

I would agree to a relationship with them, but the trust would be probationary. Any major violation before the two year mark that is not met with full transparency would constitute an immediate breakup.

 

I get that that person made a mistake with another person, but I am of the mind that cheaters have a sense of either entitlement or extreme conflict avoidance. It has to be proven to me that they have completely obliterated whichever one fueled their prior behavior before I can consider lifelong partnership with them, and most couple hit some big obstacles that would showcase that by the 2 year mark.

[thecrucible]

It really depends on the nature of the cheating because some people are humbled by their mistake and become a better person as a result of it. I cheated on someone and felt immensely guilty over it. Eventually I learned from it, cried about it again (when I thought more about how I'd hurt that person) and I just focused on becoming a better person. I'm a much better person now than I was at that time and I wouldn't do it again. I would hope that someone would give me a chance but I would understand if my past made them feel slightly iffy about me (not that I wear it on my sleeve).