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Differences/Distinguish between best friend (of the opposite sex) and bf/gf?

justanickname

By justanickname
in Friends and Lovers

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justanickname Established Member

justanickname

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Hello,

I have noticed there are still argument of the possibility of being best friends of the opposite sex, so I am curious what you think of the differences of the two? I guess action, caring could be the same, but the only thing different is emotional? Is that all?

SSJROMANCE Established Member

SSJROMANCE

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Posted

Coming from a man the difference is this. Being best friends means being best friends, wanting to **** her but waiting for the right moment to make your move. Being a boyfriend means you made your move and are now ****ing her. I don't see it any other way lol.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

I'm a woman. When I had close friend who were men, if they were really only friends, I had no sexual feelings toward them. They were just guys / buddies if you will. While I enjoyed talking to them or hanging out with them, I wasn't as emotionally invested in them and avoided a lot of incidental physical contact.

 

One of my best guy friends is the man I poured my heart out to after what I thought was a disastrous 1st date with the man who became my husband. Although that guy hugged me while I sobbed, it was a brotherly concern, no sexual under currents.

Dreamworld Established Member

Dreamworld

Posted
Posted (edited)
Hello,

I have noticed there are still argument of the possibility of being best friends of the opposite sex, so I am curious what you think of the differences of the two? I guess action, caring could be the same, but the only thing different is emotional? Is that all?

 

To start, I honestly don't think best friends of the opposite sex can exist. Friends of the opposite sex. Yes. BEST friends? No. Well, in my experiences such guys ended up wanting to get sexy time...

 

Anyway but assuming they exist, the difference would be not emotional but physical.

Best friends= All the emotional stuff that happens when you are best friends with someone

Boyfriend= same as above plus sex

 

Just adding a light hearted joke: i remember reading here a while back on a similar thread and someone wrote "if you show up in front of them barely wearing anything and ask them to screw you, their reaction will determine if they really are your best friends or wannabe boyfriend" just thought i'd share.

Edited by Dreamworld
SSJROMANCE Established Member

SSJROMANCE

Posted
Posted (edited)
I'm a woman. When I had close friend who were men, if they were really only friends, I had no sexual feelings toward them. They were just guys / buddies if you will. While I enjoyed talking to them or hanging out with them, I wasn't as emotionally invested in them and avoided a lot of incidental physical contact.

 

One of my best guy friends is the man I poured my heart out to after what I thought was a disastrous 1st date with the man who became my husband. Although that guy hugged me while I sobbed, it was a brotherly concern, no sexual under currents.

 

My wife also poured her heart out to a "best friend" after she broke up with her 3 year boyfriend. He ended up giving her a loooooong, french tongue in mouth intimate kiss. I guess he figured it was finally his time to make his move.

 

Just a few years ago another married "best friend" contacted her on FB. It reads:

 

"Hey you! Just wanted to tell you how amazingly and radiantly beautiful you are. Yes, my dear, you are drop dead gorgeous. And no, I am not FaceBooking while drunk. LOL!!!!! Although I have done that, and it does not come highly recommended! LOL! Dear, I have gone through your photos so often. But I wanted to catch you off guard for just a moment to tell you how stunning you really are. The years have been very VERY kind to you. "

 

Sounds like to me another "best" friend wants to bang her. Because my wife has low self esteem and validation issues believe it or not she was flattered by his attempt to hit on her:

 

"You are much too kind! Gueeeeeesch!!! I'm trying to start taking great care of the body God gave me...

You are hilarious, too!!! I didn't think you were drunk!!! Totally LOL!!! "

 

 

If you are a strong person with high esteem and strong boundaries I think it could work. Otherwise men see open doors...

Edited by SSJROMANCE
preraph Established Member

preraph

Posted
Posted

The difference is you're not physically attracted to your best friend. I mean, I've had lots of best friends, and I wouldn't give you a nickel to kiss any of them. In fact, I'd give you a nickel not too.

Timshel Established Member

Timshel

Posted
Posted

As a woman, I really like dude's as friends. Growing up in a male dominant family, it's a comfortable dynamic for me.

 

That said, I have never had a straight male friend who at some point has not asked me out or hit on me. Soooooo.....:confused:

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justanickname Established Member

justanickname

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Interesting, it seems only one male feedback, and I feel like it is quite hard for men in general to have best friend(s) of the opposite sex.

Female more open for that, I guess.

But one man can represent for many? Not really, so there must be some men that can have other thought(s)?

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

1. I don't cuddle or spoon with a male friend.

2. I don't fall asleep in a male friend's arms.

3. I don't have sex with a male friend.

4. I don't do romantic gestures for male friends.

 

I could go on...

road Established Member

road

Posted
Posted
As a woman, I really like dude's as friends. Growing up in a male dominant family, it's a comfortable dynamic for me.

 

That said, I have never had a straight male friend who at some point has not asked me out or hit on me. Soooooo.....:confused:

 

More proof that men can not just be friends.

 

 

Basic biology a man finds a woman attractive he wants to do her. Some men for many reasons will use let's be friends strategy to go from boy friend to boyfriend.

 

 

What happens many women will allow men to be a boy friend that they are not attracted to. Thus the man never gets to make the transition from a boy friend to the boyfriend.

 

 

Then years go by with the man trying constantly to get out of the friend zone and the woman getting annoyed at the man trying to go from boy friend to boyfriend.

 

 

Women fail to see that the only reason the man puts in the work to be kept on as a good boy friend is to get into her pants.

 

 

Women it seems mistakenly assume that because they have no sexual attraction to these men willing to be their boy friend that there is no way that these men are sexually attracted to them.

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justanickname Established Member

justanickname

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Okay, but I am curious, how about the definition of "close female friends" to you, guys?

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