Naive Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 I have been living on my own for approximately 2 or 3 months already and I have to say that I am liking the whole independence thing. My bf comes to visit and stays over whenever he wants. We can walk around naked. I can cook for him, heck, I can cook naked for him I have everything decorated exactly how I like it. It's perfect!!! So here is the thing.....My cousin wants to move in with me because she is going to get a divorce from her husband. Of course I am not going to say no to her but what really bugged me is that she is already planning on bringing all sorts of things to hang on the wall and things for the restroom. I don't like things that are very bright and loud but she does. I like MY apartment the way it is!!! I don't mean to sound like I am a brat but the truth is that I am. I like my things the way they are. They are perfect. Not too loud or ridiculous. Just enough decorations. Another thing, my apartment is a 1 bedroom and she already planned to sleep in there with me!!! What happens when my bf comes over? It's just a disaster!!! What do I do? I cannot turn my back on her. She only has me here because she is from another country and her mom and dad are over there. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Tell her no!!! OMG you have to stand up for yourself, no one else will. What a crock....she needs to go stay with her momma! Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 looks like your stuck.....you could tell her hell no but i gather you won't all you can do is i guess maybe install some rules for the apartment Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Of course I am not going to say no to her Why not? Has she no other family or friends? And what's this about her sleeping with you? Naive, now you're on your own, it's time to act like an independant woman. There are plenty of solutions for this cousin; you shouldn't be the place your family lands every time there's a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 But the thing is that her mom is in another country. SHe really has no one else. She got married with this guy in her country but he is American so he brought her here and she got her residence and other than me she has no one to count on I would want someone to help me out if I were over there but she is just oblivious to the fact that I do not want my apartment transformed. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Will she be paying 1/2 crib costs? Does she plan to continue to look or what? Tell her you'll give her 6 months. You'll be very sexually deprived by then though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by tiki Will she be paying 1/2 crib costs? Does she plan to continue to look or what? Tell her you'll give her 6 months. You'll be very sexually deprived by then though. She's going to give me $400.00. Link to post Share on other sites
SexKitten Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 oh naive, save yourself! this is a recipe for disaster. people who are looking for shelter in other people's places shouldn't be planning the new the decor upon move-in! maybe you should talk to her and tell her you just don't think this will work out, your lifestyles won't match and you don't either of you to be put out. tell her you've heard horror stories of friends/family members living together and that it can really create some animosity between, even if you avoid it like the plague. i am sorry for you cousin, but there has to be a better way for both of you. tell her you will help her with all that she needs, and that she can come see you whenever, but that living together comes with too many risks. at the very least, ask her to refrain from decorating, given that fact that she will only be there temporarily. that should give her a hint, at least, to try to look for her own place. Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 $400 a month I'm assuming. You'll be posting in two and a half months about your roommate situation gone wrong...I'm serio! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I'm serio! I love it when you get gangsta' with it tiki Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Don't do it. If you give an inch they will take a mile. It is ok to be selfish in this case. In fact, I don't even consider it selfish. Why give up something you love so much? It will only bring you down. There are answers to all questions. The answer to your cousin's situation is not to move in with you. Help her find a place on her own. Help her look for a place that is taking in a roomate. Be there for her....but don't support her. She needs the independence as well. Otherwise your boyfriend will never be over because your cousin is moping around your place all day/night. It is ok to say no. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by ~Naive~ I love it when you get gangsta' with it tiki you'll be getting gangsta with your new roommate soon too Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by NTB you'll be getting gangsta with your new roommate soon too Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Do it for 2 months. It's better than nothing. Visit other apartments with her and ask your friends if they need a room mate, in case they're renting. I hope that she does have a stable job and all. You're doing the right thing, Naive. IT's really important to help yourfamily, especially when you can . Link to post Share on other sites
tiki Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Have her post at your local college. There are people there always needing hellmates...uh...roommates. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Naive Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by CurlyIam Do it for 2 months. It's better than nothing. Visit other apartments with her and ask your friends if they need a room mate, in case they're renting. I hope that she does have a stable job and all. You're doing the right thing, Naive. IT's really important to help yourfamily, especially when you can . Thank you so much Curly!!! Now how do I tell her that I do not want an interior designer???? Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Well, you could say that given that she is only staying for a couple of months, she needn't bother with that. Be very warm and opened with her - I think that refusing her accessories around your house will reinforce her idea of a very very brienf staying at your place. So it's actually a good idea, even if she had the most refined taste in interior decorating. Link to post Share on other sites
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