simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Just received a text from the ex basically just saying. Hope you are ok, want to pick up my things if you haven't burned them, could you let me know when ok for you. Thanks I really dont want to see her, I feel so awful now just receiving that. Please help, I was feeling alright now I feel gutted inside. Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Arrange a time for her to pick up here things. Use text so you don't have to talk to her. Let her pick up her things, but have someone else like a close friend be there instead of you. That accomplishes two things. You don't have to see/talk to her. It also shows her you're not dieing waiting for a chance to see/speak to her. Make sure that your friend is prepared to answer questions from her, and ensure that its always that you are fine and doing well. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 dude relax i know it sucks.....but just take it easy see if you can drop the stuff off somewhere that way you don't have to see her or sit it on the porch and go out with friends and let her know she can pick up her stuff then that way you are not home Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 If she wants to pick up her things be a man and let her... Dont know what your situation is (who broke up with who) but in my case my bf broke up with me then had a brainy idea to keep my stuff so we could get together in a couple weeks to talk and see how we feel... well we are now going on 7 weeks and still i dont have my stuff back... i have emailed him asking him for it and he said he would drop it off on a certain day etc but when that day comes i get an email from him with an excuse as to why he cant drop it off. Finally I just responded and asked him to just bring it to work ( since we work in the same bldg) he told me will do! and yet he hasnt... What he heck is that all about... Mind you we didnt even end on bad terms either, we had a great relationship, never fought, had future plans etc...he broke up with me out of the blue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 She broke up with me! I dont know why she didnt just get her things wees ago? If I rext her to say I cant see her then she will know I am not over her! This sucks, I feel sick. Why didnt she need her things before she went on holiday? she just got back!!! She even put a fucn kiss at the end of the text how insulting! Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Oh gotcha, well in that case i can see how you are hurting,...but the more you act like you dont care the more it will bother her. I suggest not being there when she does come to get her stuff..it will make her mad. My case is much different my guy broke up with me, yet for some stupid reason i still dont have my things back.. You would think that if he was done with me i would have had my crap back long time ago... Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Have one of your friends drop her things off. Let this girl go man. It is extremely hard and there are no immediate answers to dull the pain. In fact the pain might always be there. The best you can do is go out with your buds, go to a bar, and watch a game. Atmosphere is important. The more you are alone the worse it gets. Grieving time is over...let the new stud emerge and take back his life. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 girls can be evil...........if i was you i wouldn't respond to her right away i would let her wait til i was good and ready........during this time try and find some one who would drop off her stuff........or mail it to her that is what i did with my exgf when she wanted her stuff back i mailed it to her and then just e-mailed her told her it was on the way NC with hert for anything Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 You see what I dont get is when she left her husband two years ago, she left most of her belongings, I think she took her clothes and that was it. All she has left at mine is a pair of jeans and a few tops and a spare pair of hair straighteners. The last contact I had was 6 weeks ago and she bit my head off asking if I was trying to spoil her birthday. Why has she managed so long without these clothes but suddenly needs them? Why can she leave all that stuff behind with her ex husband but not leave a few things with me? Link to post Share on other sites
queenie01 Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 why would you still want them? If my bf who broke up with me left a bunch of crap at my house, he certainly would have it back by now seeing that its 6 weeks later... why would u want to be reminded of her?? Same goes for the person who did the dumping, if you are able to dump a person you should be able to give their thngs back immediatedly and not hold on to it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 I think I may have phrased it wrong. I dont want them all I mean is why does she want them now, if she could walk away from her husband and leave all her things why cant she just leave a few pieces of clothing that she never wears. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 i know this is tough here all those feelings and emtions that you thought you had a handle on are resurfacing but she wants her stuff back what can you do.....nothing it is her stuff you have to be the man here just give back her stuff and be done with it just figure out a way to give it to her without seeing her........ Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 No she has left a fucn voice mail asking if I got her message give me a call back or send me a messgage!!! Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk No she has left a fucn voice mail asking if I got her message give me a call back or send me a messgage!!! Why!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah cause she wants to know if you got the message. Ok, the first thing you need to do is settle down, relax and calm down. You should atleast acknowledge her by saying got your message VIA TEXT, you're busy at the moment and you get back to ASAP with the arranagement. That buys you alittle time to figure out how you want to approach it. Don't let this get to you. It plays right into things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 and what about all the times she didnt acknowledge me when she broke my heart? Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 stay tough.......she is only a female she has nothing on you take your time and just come up with some arrangements Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 13, 2005 Author Share Posted June 13, 2005 so am I doing the right or wrong thing by ignoring her completely? Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 if your asking me.........yeah you are but you can't do it forever answer her tomorrow send her a text tell her you were busy but got the message and you will let her know when you can get her stuff ready...........and like i said in the mean time figure out how you want to approach this i still say send it by mail throw that stuff in box and mail it out to her Link to post Share on other sites
mental_traveller Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Say you don't want to meet her. A friend can come round and pick things up, or you can get a delivery guy and split the costs. Link to post Share on other sites
miss-gonewest Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 NTB, easy tiger... this isn't about guys vs girls...! I agree though, she is being less than friendly and she is playing hardball. Acknowledge her request, tell her she can have her stuff back but you need to check your schedule as you are REALLY BUSY at the moment... tell her you will get back to her before the weekend to make arrangements that suit. And you are right, it is strange that suddenly she can't live without a pair of jeans or hair straighteners, but hey - tell yourself you are lucky to be away from her and her crazy thinking. You will be fine - this is just a small setback, that will be over shortly. Then you can move on. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by simon_uk and what about all the times she didnt acknowledge me when she broke my heart? Be the bigger person. You played into her hands then, now you set the rules. Link to post Share on other sites
NTB Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 Originally posted by miss-gonewest NTB, easy tiger... so simon.......how is it going? come up with any plans?? let me know how it turns out Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 Well she just rang me again when I was in the bath, didnt leave a message. I am analysing this too much but surely she doesnt need her things that desperately? She has managed without them for two months and they were things she didnt even wear. She said in her text I will pick them up if you havent burnt them. So if she thought I may have burnt them why is she even bothering??? I havent responded yet!!! Link to post Share on other sites
snoop_dawg22 Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 From my experience when me and my ex broke up I bothered him for weeks to come get his stuff and vise versa but it was just so I could see him. I don't think it's a good idea if you're not over her to see her right now. I agree w/ most of the other posters and try to get a thrid party involved or leave it on your porch. Link to post Share on other sites
Author simon_uk Posted June 14, 2005 Author Share Posted June 14, 2005 Just drafted a text, not sent it yet. Sorry cannot speak to you for obvious reasons. Will post your stuff or drop it off at your mums as soon as i can. Take Care Is that alright or too much or what?? Link to post Share on other sites
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