Text from the ex to pick up her things please advise

[SinceIvebeenlovingU]

Don't be a doormat...God....you said sorry to her....for what...being busy...you shouldn't have to defend that u've been busy...tell her this

 

I will send your stuff via post when I get to it...

 

and that's it...nothing more...none of this take care crapola

[simon_uk]

I guess I am just trying to keep the door open, without saying I still love her!!!! Shi7 this sucks!

[NTB]

don't worry about nothing keep it short simple and sweet

 

your right if she lived without her stuff this long she can wait a couple of days unless she lost all her jeans at a poker game or something......but still stay strong and send that stuff through the mail

[ImaManDammit]

Originally posted by simon_uk

I guess I am just trying to keep the door open, without saying I still love her!!!! Shi7 this sucks!

 

Close the door. Isn't is for you to keep the door open. Like I said previously keep the text light. The text was almost there.

 

"Sorry I haven't been available. I will drop it off at your mums as soon as I can. Take Care."

 

It's non confrontational, fills her requirement, and keeps you from going on too much detail of how you're feeling.

 

It will get worse before its gets better. Hang in there. She has to know that you control your own destiny not her.

[Lonestar]

I wouldn't respond to any of her calls or texts, and then today or tomorrow drop all her stuff off at her mother's house. If you respond now, you'll be analyzing every word you said for the next week, and that might prompt you to want to say more or something different.

 

You're too weak right now to see her or speak with her. Drop the stuff off and get yourself back to healing. If you have any contact, you're going to take a whole bunch of steps backwards. I'm one of those who can't have complete NC with my ex. We have a child together, and let me tell you that having to talk to him even about that, really sucks. Sometimes I think he uses the situation to contact me for personal reasons.

[ImaManDammit]

Originally posted by Lonestar

I wouldn't respond to any of her calls or texts, and then today or tomorrow drop all her stuff off at her mother's house. If you respond now, you'll be analyzing every word you said for the next week, and that might prompt you to want to say more or something different.

 

Actually I like this approach too. The only other benefit of sending a light hearted note is to send the signal that. You can't get to me anymore have a nice life.

 

But if he is going to go nuts analyzing what she replies with, then this approach is perfect.

[miss-gonewest]

Originally posted by ImaManDammit

Close the door. Isn't is for you to keep the door open. Like I said previously keep the text light. The text was almost there.

 

"Sorry I haven't been available. I will drop it off at your mums as soon as I can. Take Care."

 

It's non confrontational, fills her requirement, and keeps you from going on too much detail of how you're feeling.

 

I'm likin' the "take care" bit - I got that the other day from the ex and geez it made me mad! So snide, so condescending and so nonchalant....

 

It was so "this is over, I've moved on" but in a NICE way. Who needs it?

 

Simon, you'll be fine. The sooner you make the decision to get this hiccup over and done with, the sooner you can stop analysing and move on.

 

Let us know the outcome.

[simon_uk]

So today she rang me at work, I didnt answer then she calls my mobile and leaves a message, quite annoyed she says

 

"so I guess I am one of those you arent going to call back, I need my stuff so please ring me"

 

As I am listening to her message she calls again and leaves another, this time she is half laughing and she says

 

"I know you got the last message because it went straight to answer machine, call me"

 

So I sent her a text saying.

 

" X I will send post your things to your mums or drop them off when I can, Take Care"

 

She didnt respond?????

[NTB]

cool.....short and simple

 

now just send her stuff and be done with it

[simon_uk]

Well I think it may be done now. She replied and the conversation went thus

 

"Ok No Probs, will you let me know when? Nice touch with the ignoring thing, I never ignored you, huf, whatever, you take care 2 x"

 

I replied and probably F'ed things up

 

"It is very difficult for me to talk to you, I thought you would understand? I will let you know"

 

Her

 

"Ok understand then but its not hard when u want to talk to me x "

 

Me

 

"Of course it is hard especially after the last time I called you, I dont want to upset you anymore or hurt myself anymore"

 

Her

 

"Ok x"

 

So I guess that is that? I will drop her things off and try and forget it. Have I made a major cock up here folks?

[NTB]

nah.......i wouldn't have replied but whatever

 

what's done is done.....time to move on and heal

like i said send that stuff and heal man that is all we can do

[ImaManDammit]

Originally posted by simon_uk

So I guess that is that? I will drop her things off and try and forget it. Have I made a major cock up here folks?

 

Simon, simon, simon.

 

She got you talking and expressing emotions. So for her she's now content your still a mess.

 

I would have just replied give her a timeframe of when her mom would received her stuff. I think it was comepletly ingnorant of her to ask why you are ignoring her.

 

Oh well. What's done is done.

 

Drop of the stuff, NEVER respond to her. Cause I'm sure she will.

 

Be careful, she start innocently enough with some page like "That's for getting my stuff back, or I'm missing a sock." just to continue on this cat and mouse game.

 

I think you got the better end of the deal by her leaving you. This is almost sadistic.

[simon_uk]

Originally posted by ImaManDammit

 

 

I think you got the better end of the deal by her leaving you. This is almost sadistic.

 

how do you think I got the better end of teh deal Imaman? I dont understand. Feel like I git the shi7 end of the deal to be honest.

[ImaManDammit]

Originally posted by simon_uk

how do you think I got the better end of teh deal Imaman? I dont understand. Feel like I git the shi7 end of the deal to be honest.

 

For laughing at you on the phone as if this was some kind of joke or game. For asking the ignorant question of why you were ingoring her, because she never ignored you. The lack of compassion she showed you be hounding you for a few measily things.

 

This shows a persons true character, and I question her feelings for you all along for her to do this.

 

So the reason I say you got the better end of the deal is you don't need that type of person in your life. You're better off without her, even if you don't see that now.

[simon_uk]

Yeah well the thing is she has ignred me for the past 6 weeks! I guess she had her cruise to look forward to before that, so her thoughts were on that. It is funny that I hear from her two days after she gets back. She first told me she was going to get her things 4 weeks before she went on the damn cruise, so why didnt she? See thats why I think there is an ulterior motive but fuc7 it! As far as I am concerned it is done now! Over!!! When people say "oh well it is his/herloss" i generally disagree because ultimately it is both persons loss. In this case I really believe it is her loss. i have always had nice, loving girlfriends and I am sure I will again. She has always had losers who abused her, both physically and mentally and I am sure she will have again. It is funny why she wants to know when I will drop them off almost like she wants to be there to fuc7 me over some more maybe? I will just do it without telling her.

 

The thing is I am a fighter, I am physically quite strong and tough. Nobody fuc7s me over! Emotionally I am a fuc7ing Wuss! and i have let a woman drag me down yet again! Well this one aint going to destroy me like the last!