The Prototype Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 I was broken up with by a girl 2 months ago. She said she needed time because she felt like she wasn't feeling loved recently. i was swamped with work and grad school, and we didn't have as much time as we had had in the past, or would have in the future. She didn't express this to me very well until she just up and said she was depressed and sad. Her lack of communication and abandoning me when I needed her the most really hurt me. We were together 15 months, and talked often of marriage, kids, where we'sd get married, etc. Soon after, she dated a guy briefly, then dumped him realizing it was a silly rebound and she was not interested in him. She has since resurfaced and contacted me, telling me she sees how immature and silly she was. She says that she has always loved me, and was let down when the “fairy tale” didn’t seem to be there any more. She said she knows it was a terrible mistake, and that she panicked. Neither of us has ever been in a relationship this long or serious. She is 24, and I am 30. I am debating what to do now? I love her to death, even though she dropped me 3 weeks before finals and a major paper. She acts completely contrite and realizes how dumb she was. She still talks about marriage if we get through this, etc. Do I even consider this with her? My heart of course says yeah, since in the end, I got what I wanted, which is her back. My cynical friends have said to tell her to piss off, and let her go. But no one if perfect, and if she truly understands and regrets her decision, we all make mistakes. It wasn‘t infidelity, or deceit, it was immaturity and selfishness. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
outdated Posted June 13, 2005 Share Posted June 13, 2005 Well, ultimately only you know what kind of relationship you guys had. That being said, it's possible that she pulled back when you guys got serious because she is still fairly young and may have been a bit scared. I mean even though there's only six years between you, the actual difference between being 24 and 30 emotionally and mentally is huge. She may have parted and had time to think and realized how great you were together. I think by the way your post sounds that you want to try and give it another chance. There's nothing wrong with that if you choose to do so. Your friends were just looking out for you- remember they saw the downside of the breakup and don't want to see you hurt again. Just go slowly and protect your heart a little more than before. Good luck! If there hasn't been enough time for her to change then she may get scared and run away again... Link to post Share on other sites
coolgoose23 Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 oh man, ur post seems SOOO similar to my problem that for a moment i thought it was my ex writing all this.. u can take me to be the girl here.. i would say, give this girl time, even if u do want to go back.. shes confused and needs time to grow up and decide wat she really wants from life.. dont commit so soon.. she might even change her mind during this time but if she loves u, she'll wait for u, and if ur feelings for her are true, ull forgive her.. i realize the hurt is unbearable but only few of us are lucky enough to finally be with the ppl we love.. and as the previous post said, just watch out for ur heart this time.. dont get tooo emotionally involved.. good luck and keep me updated:) Link to post Share on other sites
BLF04 Posted June 14, 2005 Share Posted June 14, 2005 I know this story well. Me and my ex have (and are currently) broke up for the second time. We're part of group friends that are always breaking up and getting back togther (were in our early 20s). outdated is right. its that point in life where many start thinking about marriage and family. sometimes you have to step back and look at the situation. i would say if you get back togther. take it slow. COMMUNICATE! COMMUNICATE! Link to post Share on other sites
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