How to stop unwanted flirting from male friend?

[preraph]

I have a feeling that anything short of blocking all communication with him is still going to result in him being inappropriate and also continuing to hope to get in your pants. He's got nothing to lose and is hanging on to any small chance and if you allow him around you in life or online, to him, that's encouragement, no matter what you say, because he doesn't respect you enough to take seriously what you say, nor probably any woman.

[justanickname]

Sharing from my experience.

Actually it is a reversed case, when I had feeling for a friend, but understand should not.

 

I think you can tell him sth like

I feel/recognize there is sth wrong of our friendship, it seems you look at me in the wrong way. I would like to do no contact to protect our friendship, at least till things seem to be normal".

 

Sth like that, if he understands, he should leave you alone.

[SSJROMANCE]

He wants more and you don't. He won't take no for an answer. Now you must make your final move - dump his ass. Otherwise this is what you will experience the rest of your friendship. I don't believe in women having men as friends. Unless they are gay every man has a vision of having sex with you. Some will never act on it, some are waiting in the wind for the right opportunity and others will try and try and try. He keeps trying. Say goodbye.

[elaine567]

Its so obvious that you cant keep this man in your friend circle as he is no "friend".

He pays no attention to anything you say and even gets in the way of your relationships. He has no respect for you whatsoever, it is ALL about him. and his ego.

This is a toxic relationship and you need to cut him out of your life.

 

Friends are supposed to enhance your life, you are supposed to enjoy time spent with them.

They are not about - unwanted flirting, cringing at what they say, getting annoyed and then arguing with them when they keep trying to annoy you...

[roxan]

My friend contacted me this weekend, 1 week after our last conversation

He just said:

"-You called me a creep

-Do you realize how rude and hurtful it is?"

To which I respond "well if you dont like being called a creep then why you keep making creepy sexual remarks all the time? Your jokes are not funny ,it's just creepy and annoying".Since that nothing...

 

I hope that this time he gets the message and stop it

 

I'm surprised that his two best friends are actually females. I dont know how he acts towards them,but from what his twitter or facebook profiles, he makes flirty remarks to pretty much every women

[Northwestern1011]

That's exactly why you should just run him off. He doesn't give two cents about your opinion, has no respect for you or your opinion, or anyone but himself.

 

This is exactly what I think as well. He doesn't respect you, which is why he keeps after it, after being repeatedly told no, and shown no physical encouragement. If you have another dialog with him tell him he needs to stop the sexual comments and flirting immediately or you can no longer be friends. I suspect it won't work, and you will have to eventually cut him off.

 

This story sounds all too familiar--I had a male friend who wanted more, I told him there would NEVER be more, I only wanted to be friends, and he pretended to be over it for about a year before telling me a couple months ago thag I clearly secretly had feelings for him. I was shocked, because I had never--and still never after a thorough review from female and male friends--had sent him mixed signals. Ever. So I realized he would never respect MY feelings and obviously didn't care about our friendship--he had only been hoping I would fall into his arms, while subtly suggesting I didn't know what I wanted for myself. So I ended the friendship. I suspect the same may happen in yours.

 

If it does, remind yourself respect is key in any interpersonal interaction, and he is giving you none. Also remember you are setting the standard for women that come after you--if you put your foot down, you're teaching him HOW NOT to sexually antagonize his female friends in the future.

 

Remember that not all that long ago, our gender was mail ordered as brides, exchanged for cattle and believed to be not as intelligent as men--stand up for yourself here and show him you know your own mind and what you WONT stand ford.

[roxan]

This is exactly what I think as well. He doesn't respect you, which is why he keeps after it, after being repeatedly told no, and shown no physical encouragement. If you have another dialog with him tell him he needs to stop the sexual comments and flirting immediately or you can no longer be friends. I suspect it won't work, and you will have to eventually cut him off.

 

This story sounds all too familiar--I had a male friend who wanted more, I told him there would NEVER be more, I only wanted to be friends, and he pretended to be over it for about a year before telling me a couple months ago thag I clearly secretly had feelings for him. I was shocked, because I had never--and still never after a thorough review from female and male friends--had sent him mixed signals. Ever. So I realized he would never respect MY feelings and obviously didn't care about our friendship--he had only been hoping I would fall into his arms, while subtly suggesting I didn't know what I wanted for myself. So I ended the friendship. I suspect the same may happen in yours.

 

If it does, remind yourself respect is key in any interpersonal interaction, and he is giving you none. Also remember you are setting the standard for women that come after you--if you put your foot down, you're teaching him HOW NOT to sexually antagonize his female friends in the future.

 

Remember that not all that long ago, our gender was mail ordered as brides, exchanged for cattle and believed to be not as intelligent as men--stand up for yourself here and show him you know your own mind and what you WONT stand ford.

 

Yes it will be sad to have to end 8 years of friendship like that, but I have the feeling that ...he is just like that, he needs to flirt and make inappropriate remarks. No matter how many times I told him to stop, he would pretend to get to messages for a few weeks,and then he's at it again.

I dont know how he can get mixed signals from me, because if I wanted more than a platonic friendship with him, then it would ve happened much earlier.

[preraph]

I agree with everything Northwestern said. He isn't getting mixed signals. He just doesn't credit you with having a brain and a choice. That's the problem.

 

Unfortunately, all that stuff Northwestern listed like mailorder brides, trading women like cattle still goes on many places in our world. And worse, like genital mutilation, sewing a woman up for the groom to unwrap on wedding night. Barbaric. It still goes on. We need to set an example for women everywhere to fight for themselves and get a voice.

 

P.S. His supposed two friends who are women may not be getting the same level of sexual aggression as you are or may have grown up with someone like a dad for whom that seems normal to them. But it isn't, not anymore.