Caught boyfriend using SnapChat at 1am... could he be cheating? Trust issues

[rebecca_foster88]

hello, i'm new here and will try to make this brief:

 

i don't use social media and apps like snapchat- and for a grown adult in a relationship i don't really know why people would need to snapchat members of the oppostite sex, but anyway maybe i am just old fashioned! I always thought snapchat was mainly for teenagers or people who seem to send nude snaps to eachother but maybe i just don't get it...

 

anyway, my boyfriend said that he didn't have snapchat on his phone (he knows how i feel about it), he said that he had it once before but that he had originally downloaded it before because apparently using the camera on snapchat was better and more flattering than using the regular iphone 6 camera. but he told me he had deleted the app as he didn't use it. i remember he had it before Christmas when we went on holiday and we used it to take photos (which he then screenshoted and saved as apparently it was more flattering) but he said since then he deleted it.

 

however, we were texting the other night and he sent me a screenshot of a random imessage as part of our conversation (unrelated) ...and at the top left corner it of his imessage screenshot, it said 'back to snapchat' ...so anyone with an iphone will know that means he was currently using snapchat when i texted him!

 

i confronted him about it, not in a jealous/possessive way but because he had lied and told me he deleted it and didn't use it. i can't really think of who he would be snapchatting at 1am but it certainly wasn't me so i asked him- why were you on snapchat when i was in work? i had worked late that evening and it just raised a red flag, especially as it was dark when i was leaving work and usually he would call me to make sure i am safe, that night he hadn't and i thought he seemed preoccupied.

 

i asked him if he was snapchatting other girls- why else would someone be on there at 1am when i am in work- he was really angry that i accused him so then he showed me a screen grab of his empty contact list and his 'snapchat score' which was only 4 to prove to me that he doesn't use it. ..and i remembered that when we were on holiday before Christmas his score was 4 then too... meaning he hasn't been 'snapchatting' on there and mustn't have been talking to anyone (otherwise his score would be like 500)

 

HOWEVER,

 

my friend told me that it sounded suspcious, she said that often people don't need to actually 'snapchat' messages, that they can take the pics using the snapchat app and then screenshot them and text them instead- and if he was doing that his score would still be 4, but instead of 'snapchatting' the photos he would still be sending pics to someone else but just via text message or imessage. She also said that even if his snapchat friends list was empty, it didn't matter because you can still snapchat with people via the contacts in your phonebook who aren't on your 'friends list'. effectively you have two lists on snapchat- your added friends and your phonebook contacts. she also said that may be he just deleted everything before he showed me. Though his score was still 4. or is it possible to have more than one snapchat account?

 

i don't know what to think, either way my trust is broken because he lied anyway about not having or using the app.

 

If he only had it for the camera being a better quality, what exactly was he taking a photo of at 1am in his house that he needed it to look flattering?!...

 

Do you think I should believe him? or does it sound fishy? can anyone who is familar with snapchat and the iphone please explain to me, i'm not really sure how it allworks. is the camera better on the snapchat app than the normal iphone camera or is he making an excuse?

 

by the way, we are both in our late twenties and have been together for 3 years. I feel like this is such a silly, teenage, jealous, immature type of question but i had to ask it!

 

Please help because i'm not sure if i can trust him

[iphone_user1]

I still do not get the purpose of Snapchat, seriously. What's the point in sending pictures or videos to be deleted? Unless they are nudes, okay. But still people send pics of whatever on Snapchat.

 

I think you've made a whole analysis of the app, you are looking desperate. If he's going to cheat, let me tell you that's not the only app he can use to cheat on you.

Edited March 9, 2016 by iphone_user1

[ASG]

Most of my friends have been going crazy with the snapchat face swap thing and the face masks. Plus, I know A LOT of people who post stories on snapchat daily, including many celebrities. Snapchat is not just for nudes anymore.

 

So... who knows? WHy does your mind jump to cheating?? That's more on you than it is on him, though.

[rebecca_foster88]

Thank you both for taking the time to read my post, i know it was abit long and rambling.

 

The reason why i was suspicious is only because he lied and told me on atleast 2 occasions that he had deleted it from his phone and wasn't on there- so why lie.

 

if he was using it to look at celebrities or to send snaps to his friends (which is very normal) then why not just say 'yes and have it and for that reason' why lie and say you don't have it when you do.

[puzzleddad67]

There is no way to tell. He could, or not. It sounds bad. Kind of... I would just keep my eyes open.

 

Google the signs of cheating. I swore my ex would never. Then I found out otherwise. People here called it early on for me but I thought otherwise. There are resources out on the internet on how to catch a cheater. Once I had a good idea my ex was cheating. I followed the information on how to catch her and it took very little time.

[Lorenza]

Thank you both for taking the time to read my post, i know it was abit long and rambling.

 

The reason why i was suspicious is only because he lied and told me on atleast 2 occasions that he had deleted it from his phone and wasn't on there- so why lie.

 

if he was using it to look at celebrities or to send snaps to his friends (which is very normal) then why not just say 'yes and have it and for that reason' why lie and say you don't have it when you do.

 

You know why guys lie about simple things even when there's no conspiracy behind them? Because their girlfriends freak out and turn things against them. They find it easier to just tell what their girlfriends want to hear rather than having to defend themselves against their endless suspicions.

If he never gave you a reason to suspect that he's cheating, stop playing a detective and assuming the worst, it's very exhausting. Try to think it through and figure out if your lack of trust comes from his actions or from within yourself.

[smackie9]

If one keeps their activity a secret, then it's something they shouldn't be doing. And at 1 in the morning, it can't be good.

 

Possible emotional affair. If he is lying about it, he's lying about other things. I agree just assume the worse......

[Dis]

If one keeps their activity a secret, then it's something they shouldn't be doing. And at 1 in the morning, it can't be good.

 

Possible emotional affair. If he is lying about it, he's lying about other things. I agree just assume the worse......

 

I agree with this. My previous ex was incapable of telling the truth, usually because he did things he didnt want me to know about. I came to realize, months after I ended the relationship, he was probably cheating on me. I ignored some key signs indicating he was, I'll never be sure though. Dont care now because its in the past.

 

Anway...Dont ignore red flags, but at the same time, if he hasnt broken your trust before, dont think too much into it.

 

I dont know why your bf would be using snapchat at 1am unless he was snapchatting someone else. And yes "selfies" using snapchat are more flattering as you can change the lighting and the color of the pics.

 

But like I said, if he has shown you that you can trust him, then dont over think things.

 

But if he has broken your trust before...keep your eyes open.