Guys & feeling

[Jacinta]

Guys, please answer a question for me. If you've been seeing a woman for several months and realize that you (*gasp!*) LOVE her, will you say those three little words to her first, or will you wait for her to say it??

 

I KNOW that it depends on the situation, yadda, yadda... but seriously, do men expect to hear the woman say it first? Do they hold back (for whatever reason) when they realize they feel this way? Or by the time men realize they're in love, are they ready to say it, too?

 

Thanks for your input.

[RR]

Jacinta,

 

I fell in love once and the feeling is more than anyone can handle when they realize it. It makes you so happy and you want the world to know what you are feeling because it is the most awesome emotion ever. For this reason I wanted to run out and tell the world, but first my girlfriend. And I did. But don't necessarily take my word for it. I've been told I'm not your typical guy in that i'm a little more emotional and in tune with my own feelings. I think that maybe some guys do wait for the girl to say it first because that is the way it is often done. Like marriage, the guy always asks. I don't know if I'm any help to you, but I know that love is a very powerful emotion that should make anyone proud and elated to profess it.

[Jacinta]

I know that love is a very powerful emotion that should make anyone proud and elated to profess it.

Good point, RR. Made me stop and think. Thanks!

[angeleyes_ab]

in a situation like this i always expected the guy to say "the words first". im usually afraid to say i love you to someone until i know they feel it back. she may actually love you to but is just afraid to let you know how she feels for the fear of being rejected in that way. my advice tell her how you feel. you may not get another chance....

[Mr. Kola]

Most of the people will not say those words because they are afraid the partner will not say it back, most of the time people do not mean what they say, because if they truly loved they would say it, without thinking what would the partner say or how she/he would respond.

 

Most of the people will say those words when things are going well, when things get messed up, those words are not being said anymore...True love is rare, and just because a guy might tell you those words, it may not mean S**T.

 

Love is expressed through actions, not words!!!

Guys, please answer a question for me. If you've been seeing a woman for several months and realize that you (*gasp!*) LOVE her, will you say those three little words to her first, or will you wait for her to say it?? I KNOW that it depends on the situation, yadda, yadda... but seriously, do men expect to hear the woman say it first? Do they hold back (for whatever reason) when they realize they feel this way? Or by the time men realize they're in love, are they ready to say it, too? Thanks for your input.

[Tony T]

I agree that true love is rare. I have my own idea of what true love is but I think the definition differs a lot from person to person.

 

So exactly what is true love??? Frankly, I have to know exactly what it is before I can say definitively whether it is rare or not.

 

I also agree with you that love is expressed more profoundly with actions. But I do know that most people, especially the ladies, like to hear the words.

[Tony T]

To Jacinta:

 

Every person in the world is different. Every man and every woman.

 

Some people sling the "I Love You" stuff around so much it's pretty meaningless. Others wait a year or more and only say it when they really mean it.

 

I think whoever feels it first ought to say it and not even care if it comes back at that time. It's something that ought to be expressed.

 

Whether a person loves me or not, it's flattering of course but pretty meaningless if I don't love them back. The only love I can ever feel in my heart is the love I have for the other person. They can tell me they love me all year long but I can never feel what they're feeling.

 

I agree with Mr. Kola. Love is much better expressed in actions. Anybody can say the words. It doesn't take very long...although it takes a measure of courage if you are really sincere. But actions do speak much louder. You can always tell if someone really and truly loves you by the way they talk to you and treat you.

 

While I'm on the subject, I think how long they will love you is more important. If somebody tells you they love you, that's real nice. But just how long will that feeling last for them...that's the part that makes me pretty damned nervous.

 

I've found often that the one's who say they'll never leave you are the ones that are usually out the door the fastest. Go figure!

[Jacinta]

I think whoever feels it first ought to say it and not even care if it comes back at that time. It's something that ought to be expressed.

You're probably right. It's just convincing myself that I don't mind if he doesn't say it back right away that's the hard part!

Whether a person loves me or not, it's flattering of course but pretty meaningless if I don't love them back.

Well, that's what I'm afraid of. I don't want to express my feelings and have them be "meaningless" to him. Also, I don't want him to misinterpret my expressing my feelings as "pressure." This is why I want to know how he feels about me first.

The only love I can ever feel in my heart is the love I have for the other person. They can tell me they love me all year long but I can never feel what they're feeling.

I don't expect that having someone say the words will make you feel them back, but isn't there any appreciation there? It doesn't affect you in any way whatsoever to know somebody loves you? That's odd.

[Tony T]

Oh, yes it's nice to know somebody loves you...that you are able to inspire those special golden feelings in another. But, again, if it's not mutual to some degree and at some point in time then it can really end up being an aggravation and an annoyance. This depends mostly on the actions of the person who expresses the love.

 

There is nothing more wonderful if it's mutual.

 

And then you must understand that that love must be enjoyed and nurtured for the time that it is there. Some feelings of love last longer than others.