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ok so ive known this guy about a year ish we live a couple hours apart its always me arranging to go see him and weve spoke on n off for a while hes quiet abit older than me but hes a good nice guy. Only thing is hes very stubborn and controlling, and im not 100% sure he likes me in that way we chat everyday but he never compliments me yet i always compliment him.

Hes never really sexual towards me and ill joke about things like that and he'll kind of be like ' er ok' and i think im waisting my time.

Hes very opinionated and i find we clash alot over certain subjects and he stands his ground over it its normally silly arguments like the other day i told him something about my car and he said ' i dont like cars get a bike instead' and he will do anything to stop me 'winning' if so to say the discussion when im telling him my view, and just really stupid things like that just wondering if anyone else has been through similar

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Even if he does like you why would you want to be with a controlling person who clearly does not respect your opinion?

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Even if he does like you why would you want to be with a controlling person who clearly does not respect your opinion?

 

Hes not always like that most of the time hes fun but i dunno he can change its just if HE doesnt agree with it

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Lois_Griffin
ok so ive known this guy about a year ish we live a couple hours apart its always me arranging to go see him and weve spoke on n off for a while hes quiet abit older than me but hes a good nice guy.

How much older is he than you?

 

In either case, this just sounds like SUCH a waste of your time.

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ok so ive known this guy about a year ish we live a couple hours apart
He's not long distance. 2 hours by car is not that far away.

 

its always me arranging to go see him and weve spoke on n off for a while
That says a lot about his level of interest.

 

hes very stubborn and controlling
Being opinionated means being controlling? How is he controlling exactly?

 

im not 100% sure he likes me in that way we chat everyday but he never compliments me yet i always compliment him.

Hes never really sexual towards me

He never tried with you. Not only. He never hinted at anything with you. Take the hint: he's not interested. I've never heard of any man even slightly interested in a woman and not trying to let her know somehow in a whole year.

 

ill joke about things like that and he'll kind of be like ' er ok'
You're offering goods to someone who's not interested in buying. Pretty useless.

 

he said ' i dont like cars get a bike instead'
I care about the environment, and I value healthy habits. I've used a bike to go to work for years. I'm not interested in cars, but I'd never be with a guy without a car.

 

Why do you even want this man? And you don't even sound in love with him. Why all this effort for someone who's not interested in you?

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ok so a guy im sort of seeing is scaring me lately we live a few hour away by car which isnt so bad so we see each other now and again were not bf and gf just seeing how things go. im 21 hes 42 a big age gap i know but lately hes becoming very clingy and controlling and its scaring me, if i dont reply to a text or skype call or message he will do this tens of times until i reply, if i tell him im on a call or talking to someone he HAS to know who it is. He always questions me who i talk to where i go and its very intimidating and i dont know what to say to him to get him to stop. He also doesnt really respect my opinion on things either. When i tell him about other guys he becomes very passive aggressive and seems jealous yet he can go and talk to who he wants?? i dont know what to do or what to say, he also searched my skype name and found a website i go on and he keeps asking about it and making me feel bad for talking to other guys i dont get it at all were not romantically involved

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You can't fix him. And you shouldn't stay with someone like that. He is dangerous. Anyone that controlling has a high potential to be dangerous. And the longer you let him stay around, the more invested he'll be and the more possessive and hard to get rid of. When you get rid of him, block him every way you can and tell him you don't want to hear from him again. He's not healthy. Please follow your instincts here and don't worry about hurting him. He knows full well he's crossing many, many lines here. If he truly cared about you, the last thing he'd want to do is make you feel bad. He is just trying to own you whether you like it or not.

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Ummm... I'm not sure where you should be scared or why? I mean, he lives hours away and the way you've described him is that he's a little bit of a stubborn jackass. Other than that, seems pretty harmless to me.

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