***Should an Old Soul Date Younger?***

[Dis]

I just want to start out by saying I really appreciate all the advice on these forums. Everyone who posts offers unique insight that I couldnt obtain on my own.

 

So I got out of a 6 week relationship two and half weeks ago. I have no intention of getting into another one any time soon. With that said, a friend of mine wants to hook me up with her co-worker. She talked him up, he was a stable well paying job, his own house, he's very sweet, down to earth, humble, an all around good guy that everyone seems to like. Honestly everything sounds good about him besides the fact that hes 25!!!

I'm 29, but I'm an old 29. Mentally I feel like I'm 40 (not in a bad way).

I dont drink, go to clubs or bars. I've been through alot in my life that has caused me to grow up and mature more quickly than most people.

My friend assured me that he is very mature for his age and all the girls he's dated (who were his age) werent mature enough for him.

I never invisioned myself dating a younger guy, and I honestly dont like the thought of it. I like the guy I'm with to be an older, masculine presence who takes the lead. He looks young too. (He is attractive though) Hes kind of a pretty boy. He seems very sweet, like the guy next door. I usually like guys in their 30's that are rough and masculine. But all the guys I've dated like that turned out to be jerks. Maybe I'm being closed minded. I dont know.

 

Like I said, I'm not dating any time soon, but I need some feedback, that way later down the road I'll know what I should do. Thanks!

[DominicWayne]

Do what your gut tells you. The first thought that comes into your mind, run with it.

 

From how you described this guy, something tells me he's a man who would do everything for you and would put everything in your lap in terms of what to do. If that's the case, it won't work out. But it also was made clear that you haven't met him, correct? Don't really know if he has an alpha mentality so I'll hold off on my personal verdict.

 

I say go on a date and gauge his masculinity. If he seems like a push-over who would jump off a bridge for you right away, I would leave.

 

Good luck.

[Dis]

Do what your gut tells you. The first thought that comes into your mind, run with it.

 

From how you described this guy, something tells me he's a man who would do everything for you and would put everything in your lap in terms of what to do. If that's the case, it won't work out. But it also was made clear that you haven't met him, correct? Don't really know if he has an alpha mentality so I'll hold off on my personal verdict.

 

I say go on a date and gauge his masculinity. If he seems like a push-over who would jump off a bridge for you right away, I would leave.

 

Good luck.

 

Thanks for your reply. No I havent met him yet so I dont know if he acts like an alpha male or not. That is what I'm looking for...passive guys dont jive with me. I just cant imagine a guy fufilling me if he's younger, something would be amiss, I cant really put it into words. But at the same time I dont want to automatically write him off because hes younger. Who knows, maybe I would be pleasantly surprised.

[Tayla]

So you acknowledge that you are mature beyond the age on the birth certificate yet another person cannot excel to be mature as well?

 

Keep an open mind and heart.

 

I like the fact that you know yourself , now get to know that others can be equally knowing of their achievements and kindness.

 

I've learned as much from others in different stages of life....

[Dis]

From how you described this guy, something tells me he's a man who would do everything for you and would put everything in your lap in terms of what to do.

 

 

A guy who would do anything for me would be great. I want a guy who gives me as much as I give him. As long as the guy is masculine at the same time, that would be perfect. From what I've heard about him, hes had his heart broken by a girl he bent over backwards for. He's been single for 9 months.

[Dis]

So you acknowledge that you are mature beyond the age on the birth certificate yet another person cannot excel to be mature as well?

 

Keep an open mind and heart.

 

I like the fact that you know yourself , now get to know that others can be equally knowing of their achievements and kindness.

 

I've learned as much from others in different stages of life....

 

Hmmm....great point. My friend did say he is very mature for his age. Maybe I expand my horizions alittle. Think outside the box. A change in my approach to dating can only help since I've picked the wrong guys in the past.

[Gaeta]

So I got out of a 6 week relationship two and half weeks ago. I have no intention of getting into another one any time soon

Just a comment before I get into it. If you were an old soul you would not be disturbed by a 6 weeks relationship. I don't even think we call it a 'relationship' at 6 weeks, more like pre-dating phase.

 

 

he was a stable well paying job, his own house, he's very sweet, down to earth, humble, an all around good guy that everyone seems to like.

Very impressive for a man of 25. Do you have as much to show at 29? Maybe he's the old soul here.

 

I dont drink, go to clubs or bars. I've been through alot in my life that has caused me to grow up and mature more quickly than most people.

 

I don't think this man got where he is at 25 because he drinks and runs the clubs every night of the week. You should not judge yourself as being 'better' before meeting him. He could surprise you.

[Dis]

Just a comment before I get into it. If you were an old soul you would not be disturbed by a 6 weeks relationship. I don't even think we call it a 'relationship' at 6 weeks, more like pre-dating phase.

 

 

Very impressive for a man of 25. Do you have as much to show at 29? Maybe he's the old soul here.

 

 

 

I don't think this man got where he is at 25 because he drinks and runs the clubs every night of the week. You should not judge yourself as being 'better' before meeting him. He could surprise you.

 

I didnt say he was "better", I'm just concerned that the age difference might be a problem.

 

Also, the fact that I'm an old soul does not make me invincible. I can still get hurt, just like anyone else.

 

I'm not disturbed by my last relationship either, I'm just taking some time for myself.

 

I never said he spend his nights drinking at clubs, I said I dont.

I agree that its very impressive that he has his own house and a great job. He could very well turn out to be an old soul as well. I'm not passing judgment. Just seeking advice.

[Gaeta]

I didnt say he was "better", I'm just concerned that the age difference might be a problem.

 

Also, the fact that I'm an old soul does not make me invincible. I can still get hurt, just like anyone else.

 

I'm not disturbed by my last relationship either, I'm just taking some time for myself.

 

I never said he spend his nights drinking at clubs, I said I dont.

I agree that its very impressive that he has his own house and a great job. He could very well turn out to be an old soul as well. I'm not passing judgment. Just seeking advice.

 

And I am telling you you are judging him only on his age when all indicates he is very mature.

 

I know you don't go out and drink. He probably doesn't either that was my point, meaning you may have more in common than you think.

[Dis]

And I am telling you you are judging him only on his age when all indicates he is very mature.

 

I know you don't go out and drink. He probably doesn't either that was my point, meaning you may have more in common than you think.

 

Ya...I think I am judging him alittle. I dont have the highest hope for men these days. Thanks for the check

[blackcat777]

There's no harm in going out and getting to know him!

 

4 years isn't a big deal. 25 isn't that catastrophically young, as he should be old enough to know himself now.

 

You can find out if your life goals are the same. That would be the most important thing for me...

 

Sometimes I feel so old there are pyramids all over my soul, but my boyfriend is about 9 years younger. I never actively sought younger, but out of nowhere, a younger man totally knocked me off my feet.

 

Hold him to the same standards you would any other man. Stay in contact if you like him. Run the other way if you find a red flag.

 

And do let him pursue (if you choose to meet)... especially if you like alpha.

[Dis]

There's no harm in going out and getting to know him!

 

4 years isn't a big deal. 25 isn't that catastrophically young, as he should be old enough to know himself now.

 

You can find out if your life goals are the same. That would be the most important thing for me...

 

Sometimes I feel so old there are pyramids all over my soul, but my boyfriend is about 9 years younger. I never actively sought younger, but out of nowhere, a younger man totally knocked me off my feet.

 

Hold him to the same standards you would any other man. Stay in contact if you like him. Run the other way if you find a red flag.

 

And do let him pursue (if you choose to meet)... especially if you like alpha.

 

Thanks blackcat777! Its nice to hear another women who is an old soul found love with a younger guy. I was wondering if that was even possible. I'm not rushing into anything and will def be on the look out for red flags. I'll def let him do the pursuing as I've found I have been too eager in the past. I'm taking my time now. Theres no rush. Do you mind if I ask you how old you are and how long you and your bf have been together?

[Tribble]

Two things strike me as reasons you might be reluctant to give this guy a chance:

1. You've always assumed you'd be with an older guy and therefore automatically reject younger ones

2. You're using his age as an excuse because you don't want to date yet

 

 

As another poster said, age really doesn't matter, it is just a number. What does matter is how you live your life and what your values are. You can have crazy partiers at 30 and at home bods at 19. 4 years really is nothing. I'd say if age is the only thing holding you back, give it a shot. He seems in a good place, relatively mature and responsible (after all you don't get a house and good job by spending every night wasted). I always thought I'd be with an older guy but my ex was 4 and a half years younger than me. Best decision I made giving him a shot.

[road]

4 years is not a lot. However I do not know if I would want to date a woman older than me.

 

 

That out of the way I say go out on a date. See what he is like. Dinner is not marriage.

[Jabron1]

If you go there expecting alpha, you'll be disappointed - at least from what you've told us.

 

However, this guy clearly has his sh*t together. Anyone who has their life in order the way he does at that age is deserving of respect.

 

I say give him a proper chance.

[fitnessfan365]

If you go there expecting alpha, you'll be disappointed - at least from what you've told us.

 

However, this guy clearly has his sh*t together. Anyone who has their life in order the way he does at that age is deserving of respect.

 

I say give him a proper chance.

 

I was just going to say the same thing. I mean the fact that he has that much going for him at 25 says something. Meanwhile, all the guys you usually like and go for wind up being jerks. So you need to fix your bad selection habits and go against your instincts for a change. Usually when women find "the one" they usually say "he was unlike all the other guys I dated". Well duh, that's why it actually worked..LOL

 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

[Dis]

Two things strike me as reasons you might be reluctant to give this guy a chance:

1. You've always assumed you'd be with an older guy and therefore automatically reject younger ones

2. You're using his age as an excuse because you don't want to date yet

 

 

As another poster said, age really doesn't matter, it is just a number. What does matter is how you live your life and what your values are. You can have crazy partiers at 30 and at home bods at 19. 4 years really is nothing. I'd say if age is the only thing holding you back, give it a shot. He seems in a good place, relatively mature and responsible (after all you don't get a house and good job by spending every night wasted). I always thought I'd be with an older guy but my ex was 4 and a half years younger than me. Best decision I made giving him a shot.

 

Excellent point! Yes I have always been with and imagined I'd be with an older guy, not 10 years older but someone at least a year or two older. Because of this, I think I'm writing him off automaticaly which (now that youve put it so simply) doesnt make sense. I have dated guys in their 30's that were huge drinkers and partiers so I guess a guy can be immature at any age. How was it being with a younger guy at first? Did it feel awkward?

 

I'm afraid I'll feel old, I'm already insecure about being single at my age.

 

Was it an adjustment for you or did it feel natural?

[Dis]

4 years is not a lot. However I do not know if I would want to date a woman older than me.

 

 

That out of the way I say go out on a date. See what he is like. Dinner is not marriage.

 

He knows I'm 29 and hes fine with it because he feels too mature for girls his age.

[Dis]

If you go there expecting alpha, you'll be disappointed - at least from what you've told us.

 

However, this guy clearly has his sh*t together. Anyone who has their life in order the way he does at that age is deserving of respect.

 

I say give him a proper chance.

 

Very true, he has alot going for him. He seems very accomplished. I know I usually go for aplha male but all the guy I've dated that had that mindset were a disapointment. With that said, I dont want to date a fem guy either

[Dis]

I was just going to say the same thing. I mean the fact that he has that much going for him at 25 says something. Meanwhile, all the guys you usually like and go for wind up being jerks. So you need to fix your bad selection habits and go against your instincts for a change. Usually when women find "the one" they usually say "he was unlike all the other guys I dated". Well duh, that's why it actually worked..LOL

 

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

 

He does have alot going for him. And I think your right, its time to date outside of my usual type. Yes....dating the same type of guy over and over is insanity. I'm just kind of insecure about my age. I'm 29 and still single. I'm afriad I'll feel old around him. I'm turning 30 in a few months but he just turned 26. I dont know if I'm over thinking this.

[fitnessfan365]

He does have alot going for him. And I think your right, its time to date outside of my usual type. Yes....dating the same type of guy over and over is insanity. I'm just kind of insecure about my age. I'm 29 and still single. I'm afriad I'll feel old around him. I'm turning 30 in a few months but he just turned 26. I dont know if I'm over thinking this.

 

Well since you haven't even had a date with the guy yet, you're jumping the gun just a bit here..LOL I mean there's no guarantee that you two will even want to see each other again.

 

All I'm saying is that based on everything the guy has going for him, you should at least have one date and not automatically write him off. Then if you two hit it off great. If not, no big deal. But at the very least, you opened yourself up to new possibilities which is a step in the right direction of changing you bad dating patterns.

[Versacehottie]

So you acknowledge that you are mature beyond the age on the birth certificate yet another person cannot excel to be mature as well?

 

Keep an open mind and heart.

 

I like the fact that you know yourself , now get to know that others can be equally knowing of their achievements and kindness.

 

I've learned as much from others in different stages of life....

 

I was going to say something similar. Could it be possible that you are both old souls?? I think so--it's pretty mature to own your own house at his age. It speaks to his priorities and sounds like he likes settled life. Keep an open mind and go on the date. You never know what will happen.

[Tribble]

Excellent point! Yes I have always been with and imagined I'd be with an older guy, not 10 years older but someone at least a year or two older. Because of this, I think I'm writing him off automaticaly which (now that youve put it so simply) doesnt make sense. I have dated guys in their 30's that were huge drinkers and partiers so I guess a guy can be immature at any age. How was it being with a younger guy at first? Did it feel awkward?

 

I'm afraid I'll feel old, I'm already insecure about being single at my age.

 

Was it an adjustment for you or did it feel natural?

 

Not at all. It was completely natural and I didn't notice at all. When we first got together he was 21 (!!!) and I was 26. It felt odd to say it because 21 just sounds so young and it was great when his birthday made him 22 haha. But in day to day life, I didn't notice at all. He'd never been to uni and had been working since he was 16. That meant he was used to working and responsibilities. If he'd just graduated and was transitioning to being a grown up, I think it would have been different. I couldn't have dated someone with the student mind set.

 

 

At the end of the day, why limit yourself? He obviously has his stuff together and seems mature. It takes a lot to be at that place in your life at 25 (I bought my first house at 24, I know what it takes!). If you notice the age difference when (and if) you meet, then obviously it's an issue and not for you. I do mean notice it, not that you keep focusing on it regardless of what he does.

[PrettyEmily77]

If you go there expecting alpha, you'll be disappointed - at least from what you've told us.

 

However, this guy clearly has his sh*t together. Anyone who has their life in order the way he does at that age is deserving of respect.

 

I say give him a proper chance.

 

Yeah for giving the guy a chance but given 'alpha' seems to be synonymous with 'cocky', she'd have a lucky escape if he turns out to be one...

Edited March 20, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[katiegrl]

Just a comment before I get into it. If you were an old soul you would not be disturbed by a 6 weeks relationship.

 

---

 

****I don't even think we call it a 'relationship' at 6 weeks, more like pre-dating phase.

 

 

Dating someone for six weeks is the "pre-dating phase"?

 

That's a new one on me.

 

Did you mean "pre-relationship phase"?

 

My ex and I considered ourselves in an "exclusive relationship" after 1-2 weeks. Were together six years.

 

That may seem fast, and probably would be too fast for me now ....but every couple's timetable is different.

 

OP, give it a whirl....for the reasons other posters have already stated.

 

What have you got to lose?

 

Nothing. To the contrary, you everything to gain!

 

Take a chance... it's good for the soul!

Edited March 12, 2016 by katiegrl