Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 I found out today that he has friends over and they play beer pong....hmmmm...that got my wheels turning alittle. Does that make him alittle less mature or is that a typical 26 year old thing to do? Another thought...I am a recovering alcoholic, so I dont think I'd want to date someone that was into drinking in that way....I've been sober for 9 years so its not like I'd want to join in, it just wouldnt be fun for me... ***Am I over thinking this new information???? Or am I just being cautious???? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 Dating someone for six weeks is the "pre-dating phase"? That's a new one on me. Did you mean "pre-relationship phase"? My ex and I considered ourselves in an "exclusive relationship" after 1-2 weeks. Were together six years. That may seem fast, and probably would be too fast for me now ....but every couple's timetable is different. OP, give it a whirl....for the reasons other posters have already stated. What have you got to lose? Nothing. To the contrary, you everything to gain! Take a chance... it's good for the soul! Thank you katiegrl! That comment didnt make sense to me either. My ex and I were exclusive after the 2nd date. Wayyyyyy too fast. I'm very wary about the pace of my future relationships now. What do you think of the new info I just posted? Still give it a shot? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 I found out today that he has friends over and they play beer pong....hmmmm...that got my wheels turning alittle. Does that make him alittle less mature or is that a typical 26 year old thing to do? Another thought...I am a recovering alcoholic, so I dont think I'd want to date someone that was into drinking in that way....I've been sober for 9 years so its not like I'd want to join in, it just wouldnt be fun for me... ***Am I over thinking this new information???? Or am I just being cautious???? He also has roommates....although it is a smart move for him because their rent pays his mortage...If it work out, way down the road, I wouldnt want to live with a bunch of 20 something guys. I dont know if I'm thinking rationally??? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) Yeah for giving the guy a chance but given 'alpha' seems to be synonymous with 'cocky', she'd have a lucky escape if he turns out to be one... Great point! What does everyone think??? Are guys who are alpha males generally jerks???? Edited March 20, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) I found out today that he has friends over and they play beer pong....hmmmm...that got my wheels turning alittle. Does that make him alittle less mature or is that a typical 26 year old thing to do? Another thought...I am a recovering alcoholic, so I dont think I'd want to date someone that was into drinking in that way....I've been sober for 9 years so its not like I'd want to join in, it just wouldnt be fun for me... ***Am I over thinking this new information???? Or am I just being cautious???? Why don't you just date him and find out? All this speculating and guessing ...is he this, is he that? Date him and find out! If you find he is too immature for you, or not for you for other reasons, stop dating him. Not sure I understand your hesitation. You're not proposing marriage for heaven's sake, it's one date! And if you like each other, and are compatible, you go on date 2, and 3, 4, 5, etc. If you don't like each other, you don't go out again. Easy peasy. There are no guarantees in this life. Take a chance. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Edited March 13, 2016 by katiegrl 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 Why don't you just date him and find out? All this speculating and guessing ...is he this, is he that? Date him and find out! If you find he is too immature for you, or not for you for other reasons, stop dating him. Not sure I understand your hesitation. You're not proposing marriage for heaven's sake, it's one date! Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Haha I know I'm overthinking this so much. I guess I'm just hesitant to put myself out there again, which is why I'm giving myself more time. I just feel like I've wasted so much time on guys who didnt deserve my time, I'm scared to even waste one date on another one. But your right, I wont know anything about him or what he's really like until I meet him. I guess this is the process we all have to go through to find the right one....put ourselves out there and hope for the best. If hes not the right one, I'll keep it moving. Thats some of what I've learned from my last relationship...dont get invested too early on, and be ok with it not working out. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Haha I know I'm overthinking this so much. I guess I'm just hesitant to put myself out there again, which is why I'm giving myself more time. I just feel like I've wasted so much time on guys who didnt deserve my time, I'm scared to even waste one date on another one. But your right, I wont know anything about him or what he's really like until I meet him. I guess this is the process we all have to go through to find the right one....put ourselves out there and hope for the best. If hes not the right one, I'll keep it moving. Thats some of what I've learned from my last relationship...dont get invested too early on, and be ok with it not working out. There ya go, exactly! Keep eyes open, pay attention to his actions, and if you find out he is not worthy of your time, then walk away. Don't linger, hoping he'll change ....just walk away and keep it moving... NEXT. Good luck and keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 (edited) given 'alpha' seems to be synonymous with 'cocky', she'd have a lucky escape if he turns out to be one... More like a guy who is unashamedly masculine, and unlikely to kiss your backside. Edited March 20, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 More like a guy who is unashamedly masculine, and unlikely to kiss your backside. Do you think, generally speaking, are most alpha males jerks? Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Do you think, generally speaking, are most alpha males jerks? I'm not sure, because it's subjective. I probably come across as a jerk, but that's just because I have confidence and a solid frame. I'm not a follower. The two alpha guys that I've spent the most time with are my dad and my uncle. And they are two very different alphas. My dad was a 'jack the lad' as we call it in England. He had a reputation as a tough guy, and slept around. I used to get strangers coming up to me in pubs to tell me stories about him . He settled down with my mum and was married for over 10 years - having two kids. He's been a great father. Then there's my uncle. He's probably slept with more women than any other guy I know. He has kids all over the place that he avoids. And he screws everyone over. He's great fun to have a pint with, but he can't be trusted. No two alphas are exactly alike. Calling all alphas the same, is like saying all club girls, or all hot girls are the same. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dis Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 I'm not sure, because it's subjective. I probably come across as a jerk, but that's just because I have confidence and a solid frame. I'm not a follower. The two alpha guys that I've spent the most time with are my dad and my uncle. And they are two very different alphas. My dad was a 'jack the lad' as we call it in England. He had a reputation as a tough guy, and slept around. I used to get strangers coming up to me in pubs to tell me stories about him . He settled down with my mum and was married for over 10 years - having two kids. He's been a great father. Then there's my uncle. He's probably slept with more women than any other guy I know. He has kids all over the place that he avoids. And he screws everyone over. He's great fun to have a pint with, but he can't be trusted. No two alphas are exactly alike. Calling all alphas the same, is like saying all club girls, or all hot girls are the same. Hmmm...yes, makes sense. I dont think it would be rational to make a sweeping judgment like either. I'm very feminine and I've been told I'm beautiful but I'm not a club type of girl. So I get what your saying. I just want to find a guy who is both masculine and a good guy = broccoli dipped in chocolate. Haha, I love that analogy. Rough and sweet, thats what I'm looking for. I hope I'm not shooting for the stars with that one. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 13, 2016 Share Posted March 13, 2016 Haha I know I'm overthinking this so much. I guess I'm just hesitant to put myself out there again, which is why I'm giving myself more time. I just feel like I've wasted so much time on guys who didnt deserve my time, I'm scared to even waste one date on another one. But your right, I wont know anything about him or what he's really like until I meet him. I guess this is the process we all have to go through to find the right one....put ourselves out there and hope for the best. If hes not the right one, I'll keep it moving. Thats some of what I've learned from my last relationship...dont get invested too early on, and be ok with it not working out. You are overthinking it. Here is the thing you need to exercise your "judgement" muscle while within a situation. Running and hiding or aborting something before it has even started is not the same and practicing setting limits and evaluating ACTUAL information and personality of this person. I'm glad that you will give it a try and keep it moving if it/he is not for you. You have to trust yourself to make a decision not negate everything but guessing what it will be like. I think it's good that you know yourself and that if the guy and his roommates are huge drinkers or it's a routine thing for them that he's probably not the guy for you. That is your limit--but compare it to ACTUAL data you gather about this guy as you get to know him. Also don't run scared from things by overthinking it. Take it a step at time. First step is to actually start talking to him and have him ask you out. All the rest of what you are thinking about it just chatter in your head. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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