Proper "conversation progression" for online dating messaging?

[Inflikted]

I've been off and on again with a couple different dating sites over the last several years, but I never really have any success with it. Recently, I decided to give Tinder a try, mainly out of pure boredom (though I don't expect any success from that, either), and I find myself wondering, what, exactly, is a proper "progression" with exchanging messages on services like this?

 

See, I'm completely inept socially and especially dating-wise. And, generally, I'm a very awkward person. I don't know how soon you're expected to go from messaging each other to meeting up (certainly don't want to make it happen too quickly, but also don't want to wait so long to lose someone's interest). I also don't know if there are more "steps" in between initial online chat and actually meeting up.

 

Heck, I'm honestly not even really sure how to initiate contact on things like this. I always heard that you should try to say something that shows that you read her profile and try to connect from there, but I find that a lot of people on these sites don't write a lot about themselves that I can connect with. Especially on something like Tinder, most don't write a whole lot, if anything at all. And I'm not particularly comfortable initiating contact by complimenting someone's looks, or something like that, so I don't know where that leaves me.

[Cooper04]

Are you male or female?

 

As far as Tinder goes, I don't believe in having long conversations, you get a much better impression of someone when you meet them in person.

 

My "strategy" is usually to strike up a conversation, just everyday stuff like where she lives, what she does, interests or whatever. Just pay attention to what she says and respond to it, don't make it an interview.

Just to let her get a sense of who I am and where I'm at. Then I end the conversation, wait a couple of days before messaging her again.

If she responds you know she's interested, so I ask her out within 2-3 messages.

For a coffee or beer or something low-pressure.

 

Like you say, tinder-profiles don't contain much, so I usually just start with a Hi, how are you?.

Depending of course on the type of women you want to attract, I'd stay away from talking about her looks. Compliment her when you meet in person, has more impact then

[gimlynick]

I've had a relationship of 8 months thanks to Tinder... It were the best months of my life.

 

Before I dated 7 other girls, ranging from 21 to 33 years old.

 

You really have to think about what kind of girl you want ad about what kind of girls that are on tinder.

 

On tinder you have these kind of girls:

 

1) Single but just on it to confirm that they are attractive

2) Single and looking for a relationship

3) Single and looking for sex

4) Single and just want to have a nice chat

 

 

I have to say that 50% of the girls on it are there to confirm how attractive they are.

 

From the in total 8 girls I've had, 6 texted me first ( and believe me, those girls are rare! ).

From the 8 girls, I've had a relation with one, and been in bed with 2... Never on first date dough.

The other 5 were kinda lame... Hot looks on tinder and being boring/childish/less hot when we first met.

 

Be sure that your pics aren't outdated, and that they match with who you are.

 

The way you best start a conversation yourself is just casual.

 

" Hey **name**, I see that you love horseback riding, you could learn it to me" or stuff like that... Just be a popular dude, not a douchy one

( " hey girl, I see that you love horseback riding, but I should love to ride you" ).

 

Just be polite, and try to get pretty fast her number to text via whatsapp because thats more smooth and it makes you feel more comfortable.

 

Do not become friends on facebook, but try to find her on it and find out what communal interests you have.

For a first date you can do whatever you want but out of my experience avoid these: Restaurant, movies, pub.

 

Movies you can't talk and the other ones are just too much in your face.

It is easier to find something to do where you both are comfortable in ( or... just the other way around ).

Tips: Indoor skiing, going for a hike or citywalk, going to a museum, ...

 

It is important that the girl feels save with you and that you have plenty of stuff to talk about...

 

 

Good luck! Remember that most girls on tinder are just there to confirm their beauty. Don't fall in love too fast with one, just take it easy.

[zenguy]

Here's the gameplan:

 

First Email: Just a hi, telling them how you found their profile interesting, and that you'd love to talk with them. Don't go overboard, you are supposed to look like you are trying to get to know them, not that you will date anyone with a pulse. (send to as many women that you like as possible, don't try to find the best person and only send to them, this is a number's game)

 

Second Email: (you may need to pick and choose who you respond to if more than one person responds) Respond to what they say, then tell them you'd love to chat with them over the phone to get to know them better, mentioning that you find emailing too impersonal, and drop your phone number, no need to ask them for theirs. At this point they'll either call you, or respond to you leaving their phone number if they'd prefer you make the first "phone call move".

 

Then setup a date to meet after some getting to know each other conversation, on that first phone call.

 

That's it. Don't blow the date (keep it casual and friendly the first date, second date is where you can step up the flirtyness to seal that you are actually dating, not just friends)