blue1987 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 My gf broke up with me. She cheated on me and left me for the guy, but little does she know that I know all about it. She gave me some BS reason for the breakup. (We're both late 20s). What's I found weird is that in breaking up with me she was still being nice, saying she wanted to be friends (and in the time following the break up, actually acting like she wanted to), telling me what a great guy I was, etc etc. What is all this? Feeling guilty? Wanting an insurance policy? Feels like she owes me a drink? Being bat**** crazy? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 Breaking up is never easy, and so she just wanted to gracefully depart without turning it into a mess telling you the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blue1987 Posted March 11, 2016 Author Share Posted March 11, 2016 Why still want to be friends? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 She wanted out because your relationship ran it's course, which is normal, so of course there will be some emotional attachment left. She still likes you, and cares about you, just isn't in love with you. A lot of people remain friends with their exes, because of that attachment, things in common, etc. Why toss that away? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 I have a question....why didn't you tell her what you knew? Are you hoping she will come back to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author blue1987 Posted March 11, 2016 Author Share Posted March 11, 2016 She wanted out because your relationship ran it's course, which is normal, so of course there will be some emotional attachment left. She still likes you, and cares about you, just isn't in love with you. A lot of people remain friends with their exes, because of that attachment, things in common, etc. Why toss that away? Are you seriously justifying her cheating? And I didn't know fur sure at the time (or I knew and didn't want to believe it). Either way she denied it when asked. I only got confirmation later. Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 Why are you not letting her know you know what you did? Protecting someone who told you? If so I get it. If not let her know you know what happened and that no one likes a cheater. Maybe even tell her new guy that if she is willing to cheat on you she probably is going to cheat on him when the time comes. It's like she tests drives a new car before she gets rid of her old one. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 I'm not justifying her cheating, I'm trying to explain why it happened. I do not condone cheating I try to explain it, because people cheat for different reasons. It had nothing to do with you, it was her poor decision to. She is a coward. Cowards cheat to convince themselves that their relationship is over and it's a way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 My gf broke up with me. She cheated on me and left me for the guy, but little does she know that I know all about it. She gave me some BS reason for the breakup. (We're both late 20s). What's I found weird is that in breaking up with me she was still being nice, saying she wanted to be friends (and in the time following the break up, actually acting like she wanted to), telling me what a great guy I was, etc etc. What is all this? Feeling guilty? Wanting an insurance policy? Feels like she owes me a drink? Being bat**** crazy? Cheaters. Of course she was being nice. She's guilty. And she's covering her tracks by dousing you with niceties. Don't take the "friends" offering to heart. Dumpers do that to lessen the blow and to alleviate their guilt. It's just a bunch of words -- she's a cheater. Don't take her words seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOnes05 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 She wants an Accident Forgiveness Insurance Policy...don't renew with her, she's a liability. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 I don't know why you didn't get all angry on her ass about it.....seriously I would have torn a strip off her, exposed her for what she is, and kicked her to the curb. Delete/block her from my life. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 My gf broke up with me. She cheated on me and left me for the guy, but little does she know that I know all about it. She gave me some BS reason for the breakup. (We're both late 20s). What's I found weird is that in breaking up with me she was still being nice, saying she wanted to be friends (and in the time following the break up, actually acting like she wanted to), telling me what a great guy I was, etc etc. What is all this? Feeling guilty? Wanting an insurance policy? Feels like she owes me a drink? Being bat**** crazy? Women like her won't leave one relationship without having someone new to go to. Don't be her friend, last thing you want is to hear how great her new boyfriend is. By keeping you as a friend she minimizes the impact of the damage she did you and your relationship. Tell her the truth or she will do the same thing to some other poor guy, she needs to experience a consequence for betraying your trust and hurting you. Tell her she is poor friend material and even worse girlfriend material. Thank her for helping you dodge a bullet but no you can't be friends because she doesn't meet your minimum standards of friendship. In time she will just be another face in the crowd. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 She wants to remain your friend so that if the new relationship doesn't work out, she can act contrite and pull you back into her drama. Don't be that guy. Let her go and don't stay friends. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SSJROMANCE Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 I'm not justifying her cheating, I'm trying to explain why it happened. I do not condone cheating I try to explain it, because people cheat for different reasons. It had nothing to do with you, it was her poor decision to. She is a coward. Cowards cheat to convince themselves that their relationship is over and it's a way out. Actually for some odd reason I have a hard time distinguishing the difference between justifying someone who cheats and explaining why it happened. To me if you are able to explain how it happened it's the same as justifying it. For example my sister in-law cheated on her husband. She didn't admit to it - she got caught with a text. Anyhow then my wife proceeded to explain to me how she understood it because the husband did this and he was that bla bla bla and it sure sounded to me that she had justified her cheating. I'm sure it's just me that has a problem with this. If it's wrong it's wrong and there should be nothing that makes sense about it. But then if I think of it as a wife cheats on her husband 200 times do I understand why he cheated on her after her 200th cheat? I guess I do. Link to post Share on other sites
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