All you Gen-Y females....

[truthtripper]

I've noticed over the years an increasing number Gen-Y females getting married and settling into the role of stay-at-home mom, content to let their husbands be the breadwinners. I'm curious to know if this is just a coincidence, or is it indicative of a general trend among you?-and if so, is it a reaction to being raised by your working Gen-X moms?

[major_merrick]

Actually, due to the economy, I've noticed the opposite. Staying home is an unfulfilled wish due to lack of money. As for me, I'm the breadwinner, but I'm also a lesbian, so not really the demographic you're looking to hear from. My gf is a stay-at-home, but she also has a job that she can do at home and has her own studio there. She works probably 6-8 hours a day while I'm gone. She does it because she likes to live quietly, rather than because either of us want children.

 

At one time I considered marrying the one and only guy I was with. He would have been the breadwinner and I would have stayed home. Life turned out differently. My mother and father both worked, and everyone was dirt poor. All I knew was I wanted to be everything that they weren't.

 

In general, I think that the idea of heterosexual couples having a husband breadwinner and a stay at home wife/mother is a good idea. It has worked throughout history. Some feminists have come full circle and realized that due to childcare costs, they have a better quality of life by staying home, growing gardens, and raising their children. There is dignity in housework, motherhood, and any productive work in general. If some GenY women can get to the point where staying home as a mother is possible, more power to them!

[Els]

Are you sure you're not tripping on something that's not just 'truth'? The participation of women in the global workforce has been gradually increasing. It's still lower than men's, but it's higher than it's ever been. Have you looked at actual statistics or are you just basing your comments on personal anecdotes? If anecdotes are all the rage, most of the older generation women I know of my mother's age worked part-time, and the ones of my grandmother's age generally were 100% SAHMs (not that that's necessarily a terrible thing, it's just the opposite of what you described).

[MJJean]

I'm not Gen Y, but my younger sister, most of my family, and my friends are Gen Y.

 

Most of my Gen Y female family and friends are SAHM because they all had big families. So big, daycare would have eaten any salary they could have made. For example, my sister has 6 kids, my friend S has 9, my friend D has 7 plus an orphaned neice, and quite a few others in my circle have 4-5.

 

I know 1 Gen Y guy who has 4 kids and is SAHD. He was military, but left the service to save his marriage after they lost a newborn to a brain tumor that formed in utero.

 

Daycare in this area runs about $250/week for an infant, $175 for toddler to preschool, and $150 for school aged but not old enough to be home alone. Between the cost of daycare per child and the logistics of running a household with many children, it just doesn't make sense to have both parents work.

 

What I find interesting is how many Gen y folks in the area with large families. We live in the suburbs, ethnically diverse area, and everyone seems to have a minimum of 3-4 rug rats. (I get teased for "only" having 3). No clear reason for the shift to bigger families that I have been able to determine. Among the many with large families there isn't a shared religion or cultural factors that I can see that would explain why.

[truthtripper]

Are you sure you're not tripping on something that's not just 'truth'? The participation of women in the global workforce has been gradually increasing. It's still lower than men's, but it's higher than it's ever been. Have you looked at actual statistics or are you just basing your comments on personal anecdotes? If anecdotes are all the rage, most of the older generation women I know of my mother's age worked part-time, and the ones of my grandmother's age generally were 100% SAHMs (not that that's necessarily a terrible thing, it's just the opposite of what you described).

As major_merrick mentions, power to the SAHMs! If I had kids, I would prefer to do the same. My mother both worked and studied while raising me. I hardly saw her and when I did she was too busy to give me any time. I was definitely a neglected child.

 

My OP is purely based on the lives of some of the Gen-Y people I know or know of. The fact that stats indicate a general increase in female employment, is the point of my OP. I was recently chatting with one of my neighbors who is a Gen-Y SAHM. She also felt that she was neglected by her working mother. This is what prompted me to write this OP.

 

Re MJJean-about a year ago my Gen-Y niece gave up her job, as the cost of child care was almost equalling her income, a quandary many other working mothers have to deal with.

[Els]

As major_merrick mentions, power to the SAHMs! If I had kids, I would prefer to do the same. My mother both worked and studied while raising me. I hardly saw her and when I did she was too busy to give me any time. I was definitely a neglected child.

 

My OP is purely based on the lives of some of the Gen-Y people I know or know of. The fact that stats indicate a general increase in female employment, is the point of my OP. I was recently chatting with one of my neighbors who is a Gen-Y SAHM. She also felt that she was neglected by her working mother. This is what prompted me to write this OP.

 

Re MJJean-about a year ago my Gen-Y niece gave up her job, as the cost of child care was almost equalling her income, a quandary many other working mothers have to deal with.

 

Ah, okay, fair enough.

 

Personally, my mother worked part time while raising me. Frankly I am glad that she did - there is no way I could've coped with her being around ALL the time! As it was we had a sufficiently turbulent relationship already. My relationship with my dad, who worked full-time, is better than my relationship with my mom... probably because we weren't in each others' hair all the time I was growing up. Unfortunate, but true - I don't agree that MORE parenting time is always better.

 

That being said, I also don't think couples with only one breadwinner is as bad as some people make it out to be. Some folks look down on SAHPs, which is wrong IMO, as they're already working a pretty tough job as it is. Working professionally to afford childcare might actually be easier for some people than being a SAHP would be.

[truthtripper]

Some feminists have come full circle and realized that due to childcare costs, they have a better quality of life by staying home, growing gardens, and raising their children.

 

 

Yes!..and I wonder if this is the beginning of a change that will over time affect the stats?????

Edited March 13, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[truthtripper]

I don't agree that MORE parenting time is always better.

The less a young child sees their parents, the less they will feel loved and cared for by them(unless they have abusive parents)

Edited March 13, 2016 by truthtripper

[Els]

The less a young child sees their parents, the less they will feel loved and cared for by them(unless they have abusive parents)

 

I disagree - I think there is an optimal amount that varies depending on the child's needs. Too little is not good. But neither is too much. Children should have time to play by themselves or with friends or siblings, especially as they get older.

 

In the old days this was expected even with SAHMs, as there were fewer modern conveniences and everything had to be done from scratch, hence much of the time was spent getting food on the table and keeping house. Modern SAHPs should be aware of this IMO and allow their child to amuse themselves without the parent present sometimes after they have reached a certain age.

Edited March 13, 2016 by Elswyth

[truthtripper]

I disagree - I think there is an optimal amount that varies depending on the child's needs. Too little is not good. But neither is too much. Children should have time to play by themselves or with friends or siblings, especially as they get older.

 

In the old days this was expected even with SAHMs, as there were fewer modern conveniences and everything had to be done from scratch, hence much of the time was spent getting food on the table and keeping house. Modern SAHPs should be aware of this IMO and allow their child to amuse themselves without the parent present sometimes after they have reached a certain age.

I was referring to infants 0-5yrs. Too little contact between child and mother gives rise to bonding issues or can exacerbate them if they already exist. But yes, naturally, kids need their own space too.

[stillafool]

I'm not Gen Y, but my younger sister, most of my family, and my friends are Gen Y.

 

Most of my Gen Y female family and friends are SAHM because they all had big families. So big, daycare would have eaten any salary they could have made. For example, my sister has 6 kids, my friend S has 9, my friend D has 7 plus an orphaned neice, and quite a few others in my circle have 4-5.

 

I know 1 Gen Y guy who has 4 kids and is SAHD. He was military, but left the service to save his marriage after they lost a newborn to a brain tumor that formed in utero.

 

Daycare in this area runs about $250/week for an infant, $175 for toddler to preschool, and $150 for school aged but not old enough to be home alone. Between the cost of daycare per child and the logistics of running a household with many children, it just doesn't make sense to have both parents work.

 

What I find interesting is how many Gen y folks in the area with large families. We live in the suburbs, ethnically diverse area, and everyone seems to have a minimum of 3-4 rug rats. (I get teased for "only" having 3). No clear reason for the shift to bigger families that I have been able to determine. Among the many with large families there isn't a shared religion or cultural factors that I can see that would explain why.

 

With all the 100s of forms of birth control I find it interesting that no one is using any. Don't understand it.

[Rejected Rosebud]

I do believe that the idea that you can "have it all" and "do it all" has been proven to be false for most human beings. It's really hard to raise a family and have a demanding career at the same time unless you have a lot of money to pay for nannies etc - or one parent who will stay home.

 

I do think that the GenY women AND men know that they can make choices now (if economically able); staying at home and primarily taking care of kids and household is neither more honorable nor weak, it's a valid choice. As is focussing on your career. Husbands and wives are deciding on these things together, it's important that both are on the same page about it.

 

P.S. We are Gen-Y WOMEN, not "females." "Female" is usually an adjective unless one is talking about breeding stock animals.

[Tayla]

Ladies at work are gen y. They are out of touch with parental roles despite having two or more kids. They gripe about having to be home with them. Sad really.

 

My son is gen y. His wife works because her career does help the community.

she would make a great sahm, yet her parents and most folks agree, what she does for the community is equally important. Some folks have talents that are not fueled by income but by cause. I admire that she loves her career and is equally devoted to raising a beautiful daughter.

My son would say the same of her.

[PrettyEmily77]

I dunno.

 

I'm not Gen Y but pretty much all the Gen Y mothers I know work. So do their partners. They either share house stuff between them in what looks like a pretty equal relationship (guys are SAHDs for a bit then go back to their jobs) or they get family help to bring the cost of childcare down. That's what tends to happen in big metropolitan cities where any scenario is possible.

 

Probably depends on where you live...

[losangelena]

It's semantics maybe, but I don't think a gen-xer would be old enough to be the parent of a gen-y person. Those two "generations" are not that far apart, are they?

[mrldii]

Not according to an actual study on the subject, OP...

 

62% Of Gen Y Women Don?t Want Their Mothers? 'Extreme' Careers - Mommyish

 

"Some 62% of Gen Y women surveyed 'don’t want to emulate their mothers’ 'extreme” careers that involved long hours.' Hewlett also found that young women don’t want to emulate their stay-at-home mothers either. Apparently the group in general wants more balance."

 

If you feel the majority of the Gen-Yers you're meeting want to just be stay-at-home moms, it must be the people you're meeting/choosing to meet.

 

 

[elaine567]

It's semantics maybe, but I don't think a gen-xer would be old enough to be the parent of a gen-y person. Those two "generations" are not that far apart, are they?

 

Gen-X - born early 1960's to 1980

Gen-Y - born 1980 to 2000

[jen1447]

It's semantics maybe, but I don't think a gen-xer would be old enough to be the parent of a gen-y person. Those two "generations" are not that far apart, are they?

Gen-X - born early 1960's to 1980

Gen-Y - born 1980 to 2000

That's kinda bizarre bc I tried to look up generations earlier coincidentally and what I found suggested some x and y crossover (which makes absolutely no sense to me) and a wide swath of "millennials" crossover, with the suggestion that millennials weren't really a legit generation ....wtf?

 

I thought it was supposed to be cut and dried like elaine said.

[losangelena]

I never realized that Gen X went so far back as to the early '60s. Then yes I guess it's possible. I was born in 1980, so I often felt like I didn't really fit into either generation, being right on that line. Huh.

[elaine567]

I never realized that Gen X went so far back as to the early '60s. Then yes I guess it's possible. I was born in 1980, so I often felt like I didn't really fit into either generation, being right on that line. Huh.

 

I suppose because Gen-X is the next generation to the Baby Boomers whose births end early 1960's.

[Tayla]

Not according to an actual study on the subject, OP...

 

62% Of Gen Y Women Don?t Want Their Mothers? 'Extreme' Careers - Mommyish

 

"Some 62% of Gen Y women surveyed 'don’t want to emulate their mothers’ 'extreme” careers that involved long hours.' Hewlett also found that young women don’t want to emulate their stay-at-home mothers either. Apparently the group in general wants more balance."

 

If you feel the majority of the Gen-Yers you're meeting want to just be stay-at-home moms, it must be the people you're meeting/choosing to meet.

 

 

 

Thanks for the article! I interpretted the gen y to be a bit miffed , not wanting either , yet wanting some . kinda like take what ya want and leave the rest. Maybe the leasure to even have the option of choice is the legacy the previous generations paved . Gone from : Women must stay home, To : I have to work , Im a single parent or independent parent, To: Hmmm Not sure, so let me try both. Will be interesting how their kids will view and decide career and family balacing.

[losangelena]

I suppose because Gen-X is the next generation to the Baby Boomers whose births end early 1960's.

 

I always thought maybe there was one more tucked in between. Actually, I have never really thought about it much at all before this thread.

[mrldii]

Sociology divides 'em up this way (generally speaking, Gen-Xers are the children of the early Baby Boomers and Gen-Yers are those of the later Boomers):

 

The Six Living Generations In America ? Marketing Teacher

 

Xers go from 1965 to 1980; Yers are from 1981-2000

[truthtripper]

P.S. We are Gen-Y WOMEN, not "females." "Female" is usually an adjective unless one is talking about breeding stock animals.

Thanks for the correction.

[truthtripper]

Not according to an actual study on the subject, OP...

 

62% Of Gen Y Women Don?t Want Their Mothers? 'Extreme' Careers - Mommyish

 

"Some 62% of Gen Y women surveyed 'don’t want to emulate their mothers’ 'extreme” careers that involved long hours.' Hewlett also found that young women don’t want to emulate their stay-at-home mothers either. Apparently the group in general wants more balance."

 

If you feel the majority of the Gen-Yers you're meeting want to just be stay-at-home moms, it must be the people you're meeting/choosing to meet.

 

 

No, I said "an increasing number", not the "majority". Most of the people I meet do not fall into this category.