Fated or just another trial?

[Libra girl]

Hello to everyone. I've been lurking at this forum since last month and now i decided to share my story. Forgive me because i can't write fluently in english but i'll try my best. I'm a 33 years obese girl and got diagnosed with anxiety/panic attack last 2013. I was so depressed and hopeless in life that i seek some motivation from the Lord- someone or something that will encourage me and inspires me to do my obligations in spite of this struggle. One night, i had a dream in which a man in his 40's chose me over a sexy girl for the reason that i'm more passionate. I didn't know that dream will become true until i met a guy. He's already 45, handsome and hardworking- my ideal. Robert was my crush and he had known me long ago. In our first conversation, instantly we got along so well. He asked my number and i gave it to him. He is very much informed about me and he asked more personal questions. I felt instant connection with all the tingly feels inside me. For the first time, i felt love. I forgot all my problems and illness momentarily. Whenever i passed the road, Robert and i kept bumping at each other, sometimes five times in a day. We smiled just like teenage lovers. I'm in ecstacy everytime i see him, i can't get him out of my head. Once, i caught his eyes roaming at my area (probably searching me). I thought he is Mr. Right not untill a shocking truth unfolds. Unfortunately, he is married and have three children. I got saddened, bit devastated and discouraged myself not to pursue this little infatuation. I thought i could move on but when Robert visited me one day, a child who is a neighbor of him told me that his wife has an affair with other guy,, an info that gives me some hope with Robert. I can't explain my self. As a catholic, i used to detest extra marrital affair and never imagine myself being the "the other woman". I chose to believe that baseless information regarding his wife because i love Robert. He has the ability to cure me and makes me happy that we need to keep this relationship going on. Robert confessed that he likes me the way i am and ask me to never forget him if ever i leave. I still want to respect their marriage as I have no plan of stealing this MM nor ruin his family. I don't know but i rather continue this secret affair than losing him with other guy. I rather believe that we're meant to help each other than see this thing as another trial for me. How about you, please tell me your opinion about my issue.

Edited March 12, 2016 by Libra girl

[loveisanaction]

Libra girl,

 

My advice to you would be to pull up a chair, get yourself your favorite drink, sit down and read as many other woman stories as you most possibly can.

 

Read about how they started off with their married men, the lies they were told by their married men about being in an unhappy marriage, the promises that those men made about leaving their wife for them and how they loved the other woman. Then read up about how these women got caught up in their affair, some of them for years as long as 9. Read about the immense amount of pain their married men caused them when they threw them under the bus on discovery day. Then read about the days and nights they spent alone whilst their married men played happy family with their wife and kids.

 

Many of the other women wish that they had never had an affair, they want the pain to stop yet day in and day out they stay in their affair. It's addicting for them, drug-like, they’re too far gone, too invested, too in love. They come on here and make their posts with tears streaming down their faces for the emotional mess that they’re in. They want the pain to go away but it doesn’t.

 

For many, when their married men have had their fill of them, or the wife found out the men end the affair leaving the other woman in such a state of pain some of them need therapy. Some of the women are strong and end the affair themselves but not without their heart feeling like it's been ripped out of their chest.

 

You want to enter into an affair with a married man? Read the stories on this site and after you do if you still want to have an affair with a married man, whatever happens, you’ll have no one else to blame but yourself.

Edited March 12, 2016 by loveisanaction

[Bufo]

Carefully read what Loveisanaction has posted. I've never been an OW since I am a male. But I have posted before suggesting the same process. Pick any 10 threads at random and keep score how many affairs with MM turn out happily for the OW. If that doesn't convince you, try another 10 random threads.

 

He won't leave his wife and children and home for you. Tell him you may wait until he is divorced. You'll see how he isn't about to divorce his wife for you. He wants you as something on the side. Has he had an A before? Some men are natural born predators looking for women in your situation.

 

And, I can tell you that if you are involved with him, you'll have no time should a more suitable candidate appear on the horizon. Nearly all A's eventually end. Not only will you be off t he market spending weekends and holidays alone, you'll someday find yourself explaining this gap in your romantic resume'. After having again posted here about your heartbreak when the A ends.

 

I don't mean to lecture but there is a wealth of experience here for you to read about. Take advantage of this collective wisdom.

[Babsinhealing]

Hello to everyone. I've been lurking at this forum since last month and now i decided to share my story. Forgive me because i can't write fluently in english but i'll try my best. I'm a 33 years obese girl and got diagnosed with anxiety/panic attack last 2013. I was so depressed and hopeless in life that i seek some motivation from the Lord- someone or something that will encourage me and inspires me to do my obligations in spite of this struggle. One night, i had a dream in which a man in his 40's chose me over a sexy girl for the reason that i'm more passionate. I didn't know that dream will become true until i met a guy. He's already 45, handsome and hardworking- my ideal. Robert was my crush and he had known me long ago. In our first conversation, instantly we got along so well. He asked my number and i gave it to him. He is very much informed about me and he asked more personal questions. I felt instant connection with all the tingly feels inside me. For the first time, i felt love. I forgot all my problems and illness momentarily. Whenever i passed the road, Robert and i kept bumping at each other, sometimes five times in a day. We smiled just like teenage lovers. I'm in ecstacy everytime i see him, i can't get him out of my head. Once, i caught his eyes roaming at my area (probably searching me). I thought he is Mr. Right not untill a shocking truth unfolds. Unfortunately, he is married and have three children. I got saddened, bit devastated and discouraged myself not to pursue this little infatuation. I thought i could move on but when Robert visited me one day, a child who is a neighbor of him told me that his wife has an affair with other guy,, an info that gives me some hope with Robert. I can't explain my self. As a catholic, i used to detest extra marrital affair and never imagine myself being the "the other woman". I chose to believe that baseless information regarding his wife because i love Robert. He has the ability to cure me and makes me happy that we need to keep this relationship going on. Robert confessed that he likes me the way i am and ask me to never forget him if ever i leave. I still want to respect their marriage as I have no plan of stealing this MM nor ruin his family. I don't know but i rather continue this secret affair than losing him with other guy. I rather believe that we're meant to help each other than see this thing as another trial for me. How about you, please tell me your opinion about my issue.

Libra Girl- please take advice from someone that has been there. Affairs will only break your heart. After joining this site and reading other forums, I realized I was one of the lucky ones. I had a "great" affair with closure when it ended. My xMM was wonderful and prioritized me and treated me well during the A. Despite 20 months of bliss we had a DD and it all came crashing down. It always ends. You may get a few months or even years of happy moments (it's not all happy moments when you are sharing a man) but the sadness and heartbreak that I'm going thru right now (and I'm the one that ended it!) I woukd not wish upon anyone. So even if it's an ideal A, don't expect long term happiness. It's short lived and fleeting. That only happens in the movies.

[Satu]

Other people's men are other people's men.

 

If you want one, get one of your own.

[pepsimax]

I am also in love with a mm and it is sooo hard.

The more you fall for him the harder it will get and it is not worth it.

We are settling for crumbs and being last priority and everything on their own terms.

From my personal experience it is just heartache.

[Libra girl]

Libra girl,

 

My advice to you would be to pull up a chair, get yourself your favorite drink, sit down and read as many other woman stories as you most possibly can.

 

Read about how they started off with their married men, the lies they were told by their married men about being in an unhappy marriage, the promises that those men made about leaving their wife for them and how they loved the other woman. Then read up about how these women got caught up in their affair, some of them for years as long as 9. Read about the immense amount of pain their married men caused them when they threw them under the bus on discovery day. Then read about the days and nights they spent alone whilst their married men played happy family with their wife and kids.

 

Many of the other women wish that they had never had an affair, they want the pain to stop yet day in and day out they stay in their affair. It's addicting for them, drug-like, they’re too far gone, too invested, too in love. They come on here and make their posts with tears streaming down their faces for the emotional mess that they’re in. They want the pain to go away but it doesn’t.

 

For many, when their married men have had their fill of them, or the wife found out the men end the affair leaving the other woman in such a state of pain some of them need therapy. Some of the women are strong and end the affair themselves but not without their heart feeling like it's been ripped out of their chest.

 

You want to enter into an affair with a married man? Read the stories on this site and after you do if you still want to have an affair with a married man, whatever happens, you’ll have no one else to blame but yourself.

 

Thank you for the advice. I read some stories and i could feel their pain. Actually, we're already 9 months and I'm trying hard to be positive and controlling of the situation. We already make out twice, unsatisfied since the guilt is there but the feeling that we're together is priceless. honestly, i can't see myself without him. Well, i rather choose to die being in love with him than to live being unhappy. He's the first guy i fell in love, ignoring the fact that he is committed. As i said, i have no plan to mess up his marriage. All i want is this attentions he gives me whenever he's available. Too hard but i did't mind the pain. I never regret falling in love with someone i like, my only regret is he already has family. Well, it wasn't my plan, he just came at my most vulnerable condition like a knight.

[wmacbride]

Hello to everyone. I've been lurking at this forum since last month and now i decided to share my story. Forgive me because i can't write fluently in english but i'll try my best. I'm a 33 years obese girl and got diagnosed with anxiety/panic attack last 2013. I was so depressed and hopeless in life that i seek some motivation from the Lord- someone or something that will encourage me and inspires me to do my obligations in spite of this struggle. One night, i had a dream in which a man in his 40's chose me over a sexy girl for the reason that i'm more passionate. I didn't know that dream will become true until i met a guy. He's already 45, handsome and hardworking- my ideal. Robert was my crush and he had known me long ago. In our first conversation, instantly we got along so well. He asked my number and i gave it to him. He is very much informed about me and he asked more personal questions. I felt instant connection with all the tingly feels inside me. For the first time, i felt love. I forgot all my problems and illness momentarily. Whenever i passed the road, Robert and i kept bumping at each other, sometimes five times in a day. We smiled just like teenage lovers. I'm in ecstacy everytime i see him, i can't get him out of my head. Once, i caught his eyes roaming at my area (probably searching me). I thought he is Mr. Right not untill a shocking truth unfolds. Unfortunately, he is married and have three children. I got saddened, bit devastated and discouraged myself not to pursue this little infatuation. I thought i could move on but when Robert visited me one day, a child who is a neighbor of him told me that his wife has an affair with other guy,, an info that gives me some hope with Robert. I can't explain my self. As a catholic, i used to detest extra marrital affair and never imagine myself being the "the other woman". I chose to believe that baseless information regarding his wife because i love Robert. He has the ability to cure me and makes me happy that we need to keep this relationship going on. Robert confessed that he likes me the way i am and ask me to never forget him if ever i leave. I still want to respect their marriage as I have no plan of stealing this MM nor ruin his family. I don't know but i rather continue this secret affair than losing him with other guy. I rather believe that we're meant to help each other than see this thing as another trial for me. How about you, please tell me your opinion about my issue.

 

 

If you are christian, then why would you believe that any sort of A with his man is okay? ins;t one of the ten commandments about not committing adultery?

[wmacbride]

Thank you for the advice. I read some stories and i could feel their pain. Actually, we're already 9 months and I'm trying hard to be positive and controlling of the situation. We already make out twice, unsatisfied since the guilt is there but the feeling that we're together is priceless. honestly, i can't see myself without him. Well, i rather choose to die being in love with him than to live being unhappy. He's the first guy i fell in love, ignoring the fact that he is committed. As i said, i have no plan to mess up his marriage. All i want is this attentions he gives me whenever he's available. Too hard but i did't mind the pain. I never regret falling in love with someone i like, my only regret is he already has family. Well, it wasn't my plan, he just came at my most vulnerable condition like a knight.

 

I'm going to give you a dose of reality.

you already are messing up his marriage in ways you don't know, and he sure isn't gong to tell you.

 

there are many guys out there who would be happy to meet a woman like you, who are not attached. and who will not ask you to sacrifice your morals and beliefs to be with them.

[Libra girl]

Has he had an A before? Some men are natural born predators looking for women in your situation.

 

Some source told me he had an affair before with a married girl too. Robert tried hard to get out of his marriage but the annulment process here is so expensive and so stressful that he got discouraged to continue.

[Libra girl]

If you are christian, then why would you believe that any sort of A with his man is okay? ins;t one of the ten commandments about not committing adultery?

 

I said i used to detest this kind of affair but my belief change when he came in. I feel guilty commiting sin yet i desire to love him. I do appreciate when people is concern of me but i rather take the risk than not to love.

Edited March 13, 2016 by Libra girl

[wmacbride]

I said i used to detest this kind of affair but my belief change when he came in. I feel guilty commiting sin yet i desire to love him. I do appreciate when people is concern of me but i rather take the risk than not to love.

 

 

Are you willing to risk being terribly hurt?

 

btw, i'm sorry that you haven't had the opportunity in experience love in your life, and that you think " tingly feelings" and that the shock of sense of excitement you feel when you see him or you drive by each other is "love".

 

I;m not a christian by any stretch of the imagination, but there are some tenets if the religion I understand. One being that god loves you and wouldn't want to see you hurt. He would never send a mm to be the one for you to fall in love with, or hurt you like that.

 

You are better than this. You deserve better than the pain that so many A's bring. Read the threads form ow and om. see how many are roses and sunshine, and how many are of being deeply hurt.

 

You don't deserve that kind of pain. No one does, but you have the power to prevent it. If you think this one guy loves you, then why is it difficult to believe there could be other men, unattached men, who would treat you like a queen and make you happy, without any subterfuge or sneaking?