New friend obsessed with me

[Country_Girl]

I recently posted on a platform for platonic friendships, explained I recently went through a breakup, but would like to find a new friend to shoot the breeze with once in a while. And if someone else was going through something similar to reply.

 

So I met this dude, went out for drinks, had a good time talking about exes. He kissed me but the next day I made it clear that nothing would happen between us, that I don't want a relationship and I am in love with my ex still. Also, he is way too old for me and I'm just not attracted to him at all.

 

He seemed to get it and understand, few days later we took a long road trip, 2 days, separate beds and everything. He bought me some souvenirs on the way back, I still felt he was looking for more and I refused them, but he had put them in my bag.

 

He started saying stuff, like he loves me. That he's fallen for me. I told him stop saying that. He kept going on and on how perfect we would be together down the line. He added me to facebook, before he started getting all creepy, and started tagging me, like he was trying to show me off. Then he told me he texted his ex my picture the day we met and bragged that he was meeting me for drinks. So I'm getting weirded out. Then he tells me he downloaded all my pictures. All week he's been blowing up my phone "morning sunshine" "sweet dreams hun". Sending youtube videos of love songs. Tells me he's been showing his bar friends my photos that he lifted off my profile.

 

He kept texting the day before and I didn't reply to most, so he asked if he was bothering me, I said yes, I am busy, I don't have time to be texting all day. All week been texting me "I miss you". I never reciprocate either. I finally had enough yesterday when I told him I was busy babysitting and can't text, and he sent "Wish you were with me right now". Oh he also told me he's been dreaming about me (but in a friend way).

 

So I said, "for the last time, I cannot offer more than friendship". Then he went on a rant how "oh all I want is friendship too, so that makes me a bad guy?" I just didn't even reply. This morning he texts "Happy St Patty's day, I won't bother you anymore today" then texts "oops a week early". Once again, I don't reply. Then sends me a youtube video of Tim McGraw's "Real Good Man" saying "thought this would make you smile. friends."

 

If all this wasn't creepy enough, I notice today on facebook he's been adding all these "18+" groups and liking scantily clad pictures. Then I go to the platonic platform we met on, and I just know he anonymously posted a message to me, it was clear as day reading it. And it was very clear this poster wanted more than friendship. And how they miss me and can't go a few hours without talking to me. And how I am perfect.

 

I feel so sick to my stomach right now. Totally creeped out. As if I don't have enough to deal with after a recent breakup, I just wanted to meet new people and get out of the house to stop feeling sorry for myself. So now I've got this psycho stalker to deal with, ugh I feel like throwing up. Never again will I meet a stranger.

 

I have made it abundantly clear numerous times to him that I do not want a relationship. Now I gotta figure out how to get rid of this guy. I have not replied to any texts today, nor do I plan to. Next step will be removing and blocking from facebook, but I will probably wait a day or so, so the hammer doesn't come down all at once. My biggest fear is, he knows where I live since we had to drop off my stuff.

 

I just don't know what to do...I feel like a jerk just ditching someone, but all of this creeps me out.

[SunnyWeather]

you lost me at the part where you went on a road trip and shared a room---a few days after having just met online

 

what is it that you don't know what to do?

[Satu]

All you can do now is block him on everything, but if he finds his way through your blocks and won't stop, the next step would be talking to the police.

 

 

*No direct contact.

*No sending or receiving of messages.

*Block any means he might use to contact you.

*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.

*No indirect contact through third parties.

*De-friend or delete from all social media.

*No monitoring of him on social media.

*No 'little birds' feeding you news.

*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.

[preraph]

He thinks he's going to get you through this breakup and then you'll be open to being with him. I agree that you need to totally block him, totally. Tell him one last time, I'm not interested and need to wrap this up. Hope you understand, goodbye. And block him totally.

[Country_Girl]

He thinks he's going to get you through this breakup and then you'll be open to being with him. I agree that you need to totally block him, totally. Tell him one last time, I'm not interested and need to wrap this up. Hope you understand, goodbye. And block him totally.

 

That's what I was thinking, that he thinks there will be an opportunity to be with me later. It's too bad, because aside from the creepy, he seems like a really nice guy that I would like to be friends with. But I just know, even if I set the record straight again, he'll still be hoping for more. And I've been in the position of unrequited love/feelings before, and the more time I spent with the person, the more attached I became. Gotten 6 texts today so far and haven't replied, I'm sure I'll get another, then I guess I'll break the news again and block.

[preraph]

You know, if it doesn't feel right, don't go along with it. I had someone trying that on me and it was uncomfortable. I knew I'd never be into them that way. He's trying to make you feel obligated, in my opinion. Hope he leaves you alone once he's blocked.

 

And don't feel sorry for him. He knows exactly what he's doing and he knows he's being creepy even though it's making you uncomfortable, a bad sign.

[Country_Girl]

You know, if it doesn't feel right, don't go along with it. I had someone trying that on me and it was uncomfortable. I knew I'd never be into them that way. He's trying to make you feel obligated, in my opinion. Hope he leaves you alone once he's blocked.

 

And don't feel sorry for him. He knows exactly what he's doing and he knows he's being creepy even though it's making you uncomfortable, a bad sign.

 

You hit the nail on the head, "uncomfortable" is exactly how I feel. I almost texted that the other day, because that's the word that was ringing in the back of my mind. Instead I texted "Hey ____, I think you are a great person, but please stop sending me 'couple' type stuff. All I can offer is friendship".

 

When we were on the road trip, and he told me he downloaded my pics, I said "now don't be a creeper"- just to give a hint. He had some excuse that he has pics of all his friends.

 

His last text today was "Sorry, promise last text, I'm just a horrible person." Almost trying to make me feel guilty that he keeps texting and wants a reply. At first I felt bad, like 'ok he just went through a breakup and he's trying to fill a void'. I don't feel guilty anymore, if anything, just annoyed.

[preraph]

Oh, love that he's trying to make you feel guilty. What nonsense. I'm telling you right now, with creeps, you can't give them any excuse or try to be kind and still expect to get rid of them. Any tolerance and they will maintain a full hope of winning you over. And as I just said on another thread, these creeps who are trying to get what amounts to personal custom porn from you, it's just smarmy. I mean, there is only ONE thing they are doing with any photos of you.

[elaine567]

you lost me at the part where you went on a road trip and shared a room---a few days after having just met online

 

 

What were you thinking?

As you say, he's a creepy "psycho stalker", you could have ended up dead in a ditch on the "road trip".

Since he knows where you live, I suggest you go to the police.

[Alamo657]

I have no idea why someone would force a friendship with a person of the opposite sex they just met.

 

The fact that he is acting creepy and stalkerish is a good reason to cut the contact immediately.

 

Next time, don't let a guy kiss you if you're not interested.

[Easyguy14]

I recently posted on a platform for platonic friendships, explained I recently went through a breakup, but would like to find a new friend to shoot the breeze with once in a while. And if someone else was going through something similar to reply.

 

So I met this dude, went out for drinks, had a good time talking about exes. He kissed me but the next day I made it clear that nothing would happen between us, that I don't want a relationship and I am in love with my ex still. Also, he is way too old for me and I'm just not attracted to him at all.

 

He seemed to get it and understand, few days later we took a long road trip, 2 days, separate beds and everything. He bought me some souvenirs on the way back, I still felt he was looking for more and I refused them, but he had put them in my bag.

 

He started saying stuff, like he loves me. That he's fallen for me. I told him stop saying that. He kept going on and on how perfect we would be together down the line. He added me to facebook, before he started getting all creepy, and started tagging me, like he was trying to show me off. Then he told me he texted his ex my picture the day we met and bragged that he was meeting me for drinks. So I'm getting weirded out. Then he tells me he downloaded all my pictures. All week he's been blowing up my phone "morning sunshine" "sweet dreams hun". Sending youtube videos of love songs. Tells me he's been showing his bar friends my photos that he lifted off my profile.

 

He kept texting the day before and I didn't reply to most, so he asked if he was bothering me, I said yes, I am busy, I don't have time to be texting all day. All week been texting me "I miss you". I never reciprocate either. I finally had enough yesterday when I told him I was busy babysitting and can't text, and he sent "Wish you were with me right now". Oh he also told me he's been dreaming about me (but in a friend way).

 

So I said, "for the last time, I cannot offer more than friendship". Then he went on a rant how "oh all I want is friendship too, so that makes me a bad guy?" I just didn't even reply. This morning he texts "Happy St Patty's day, I won't bother you anymore today" then texts "oops a week early". Once again, I don't reply. Then sends me a youtube video of Tim McGraw's "Real Good Man" saying "thought this would make you smile. friends."

 

If all this wasn't creepy enough, I notice today on facebook he's been adding all these "18+" groups and liking scantily clad pictures. Then I go to the platonic platform we met on, and I just know he anonymously posted a message to me, it was clear as day reading it. And it was very clear this poster wanted more than friendship. And how they miss me and can't go a few hours without talking to me. And how I am perfect.

 

I feel so sick to my stomach right now. Totally creeped out. As if I don't have enough to deal with after a recent breakup, I just wanted to meet new people and get out of the house to stop feeling sorry for myself. So now I've got this psycho stalker to deal with, ugh I feel like throwing up. Never again will I meet a stranger.

 

I have made it abundantly clear numerous times to him that I do not want a relationship. Now I gotta figure out how to get rid of this guy. I have not replied to any texts today, nor do I plan to. Next step will be removing and blocking from facebook, but I will probably wait a day or so, so the hammer doesn't come down all at once. My biggest fear is, he knows where I live since we had to drop off my stuff.

 

I just don't know what to do...I feel like a jerk just ditching someone, but all of this creeps me out.

 

Yea, said guy fits the description of a stalker. And he sounds like a loser too. Just block your number. He'll get the message. If that doesn't work, you can always get someone close to you to set him straight.

[Tayla]

When you open the door to public media access , you can hardly yell stalker alert. Permission was granted at various points.

 

Every gesture: meeeting him, his kiss, the going away together were actions of permission. Now most will say but she said No. And her actions all said yes.

 

She gave him signals. I think the polite thing to do ( and the mature thing) is:

1: remove your pics from social media or make them private

2: Create a new account.

3.change your phone number and block his number.

4: meet him in a safely public place with a third party to confirm . State your side and convey that you wish to be left to enjoy your life in peace. Apologize for any misleading actions . Own your part. You shouldn't have to threaten him with going to the police or filing a restraining order. He is probably running on the impressions you left him with by all stated above.

Be well and regard your privacy a bit better.

[CC12]

Going on the trip was a bit fast, and that's a mistake you probably won't be making again, but I don't think you've given him any kind of go-ahead to act overly close to you or to ignore your repeated requests to keep it platonic. The only thing I can fault you for is letting it go on a little too long. I do get that you're trying to be nice to him and make a new friend, but when a friend says stuff like this:

 

like he loves me. That he's fallen for me.

 

That's it. The friendship is pretty much over. That's your cue to say, "Sorry, we can't be friends anymore. Please don't contact me in any way again." Then block him and make your stuff private. Don't feel bad. It just didn't work out.

[Phoenician]

you both seem to be immature ,

 

be frank to each other , what exactly you want ?