TrustedthenBusted Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I've got all kinds of old friends and ex girlfriends on Facebook. Wife probably has the same. If you want to reach out to a childhood friend, go for it! Geez... Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I am very careful who i friend on facebook....and most of my friends on facebook are women. If this man sent me a friend request that i have not seen or heard from in thirty years....I would deny the request. But I am a former cheater....and I know how my husband feels about my being friends with others. I respect his wishes....and I hold my boundaries. We both have complete access to each others account. I don't even friend RELATIVES I have had nothing to do with much less old boyfriends.... This woman is on facebook...if she wanted to friend him or find out about him....the search goes both ways. Obviously she hasn't made the effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I originally failed to mention that we were about 10 years old then, lol. It seems presumptive to assume this had the same impact for her it's had for you. Why would you possibly think she'd remember something from a brief and insignificant meeting when she was 10? I'd look for interactions with a higher rate of return... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Liam1 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I've got all kinds of old friends and ex girlfriends on Facebook. Wife probably has the same. If you want to reach out to a childhood friend, go for it! Geez...[/QUote] Every woman who contacted on facebook was, in the end, looking for an affair. .....Every single one. I no longer accept friend invitations from long lost friends or co workers or people I meet at the gym. In fact, given the present affair-minded environment, I don't even want to talk to a woman anymore, unless I am with my wife or the woman is with her husband or boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 Are you trying to persuade yourself that you don't have any romantic interest in a married lady who was your first crush? Personally, I'm not persuaded. My opinion is to not contact her but rather to respect her marriage. My God, not even remotely. Looking back on the post, yeah, I can understand how that might be construed. I suppose that's my fault for wording it in that way. But again, if those were my feelings, I see no reason to not admit that on the internet, where my identity is completely anonymous. I have nothing to lose by telling the truth, ya know? And if anything, I'd be more interested in possibly rekindling a relationship with my ex, for whom I was about to propose to. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 JustAnotherLostLove I'm amazed at the response that you have got here! Wow - it's quite clear that you have no "evil" intentions whatsoever, just wanting to check in with someone that you crossed paths with in your childhood. However, the reason I am here at all is that I am a former cheater who "fell" (poor me) into an affair, and so this thread illustrates to me that I am much less aware of my boundaries than I should be. I will take note of this. But still......come on guys! This is clearly innocent - they were 10! If you really are curious to catch up, why not address the message to the girl AND her husband, kind of like..... "Hi James and Mary, You may not recognise my name, but Mary and I met on a camp once when we were kids and I just wondered if she remembered anything about that summer. All the very best to you both, JustAnotherLostLove". Surely that couldn't do any harm, could it? All the best of luck anyway! Exactly! It's a little bizarre. Truth is, I posted this on another website, unlike this one, and didn't get a single response that was similar to any of these. It just goes to show the nature of this particular community of people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 It seems presumptive to assume this had the same impact for her it's had for you. Why would you possibly think she'd remember something from a brief and insignificant meeting when she was 10? I'd look for interactions with a higher rate of return... Mr. Lucky That's true. And after thinking about it, I figured some things are better left to nostalgia. I'd hate to have some unwarranted life sequel, taint my memory, and ruin the project that I'm working on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 I am very careful who i friend on facebook....and most of my friends on facebook are women. If this man sent me a friend request that i have not seen or heard from in thirty years....I would deny the request. But I am a former cheater....and I know how my husband feels about my being friends with others. I respect his wishes....and I hold my boundaries. We both have complete access to each others account. I don't even friend RELATIVES I have had nothing to do with much less old boyfriends.... This woman is on facebook...if she wanted to friend him or find out about him....the search goes both ways. Obviously she hasn't made the effort. Well, like you said, it was almost 30 years ago. Who knows, maybe she doesn't even remember my name. And again, I never said anything about a friend request, romance, affair, or anything to that effect. It's somewhat entertaining to see the narrative people are creating out of this. However, not to assume, but it's possible people are reacting to this out of their own insecurity, and past experiences that I have not had. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 Hi Just another lost love: Is this gal someone you see as a lost love? Or, does your screen name have no significance to this woman you want to contact on facebook. Here's the thing. Perhaps you are in denial about your true motive. Maybe yes, maybe no. But either way your skating on thin ice. This situation could easily turn into an affair. So, no, don't contact her. Now, if you met her at a party or a reunion and went up to her to revisit old times together and then left without taking her number or email, then you would be on solid ground. I may be wrong, but it seems like you used to really really like this girl and in more than just a brotherly way. No, my name is in relation to my last relationship that ended 6 months ago. And it was a very serious one. I should have figured people would assume it had something to do with this, so that's my fault. As far as THIS situation turning into an affair, not even remotely possible, and even if it were, I wouldn't entertain the idea of it. On top of that, we were 10 years old back then, AND she currently lives in another country, literally. It's not her I like so much, it's the memory of this place, and she played one of the leading roles, if you will. I actually remember the names of all my friends from there, but hers is the only name I remember fully. She was my first crush (that I can remember), but so what. I'm coherent enough to understand that that holds no real weight. We were 10 years old. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 It seems presumptive to assume this had the same impact for her it's had for you. Why would you possibly think she'd remember something from a brief and insignificant meeting when she was 10? I'd look for interactions with a higher rate of return... Mr. Lucky I'm certainly not looking for a high rate of return. A single, casual, relatively non-awkward response would be more than sufficient. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrs. John Adams Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 you are posting on a forum where many of the contributors have been touched by infidelity. Nerves are raw especially those who were betrayed by spouses via facebook. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JustAnotherLostLove Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 you are posting on a forum where many of the contributors have been touched by infidelity. Nerves are raw especially those who were betrayed by spouses via facebook. That makes sense. And I certainly sympathize for those people. Link to post Share on other sites
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