Cappycorny Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Block him for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bathtub-row Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 I imagine you are correct regarding the post breakup hunting expeditions not going well. He had the nerve to tell me that he would find someone else to love when we split. This would be OK if he wasn't already married. How about resolving your marriage before you embark on another affair. What an a-hole. What an asinine thing for him to say! Wow! So, basically, he's just a serial cheater and proud of it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted May 3, 2016 Author Share Posted May 3, 2016 No mistake. He's fishing. Bet he does it again within a week. It's been a couple of months since the text & I haven't heard from him again...I think. I did receive a call for someone where it read "no caller id". This was odd because there was no message left & I had never received a call like that ever. I have not received a call like that since. One would think if it was legitimate they would try repeatedly to reach me. IDK. It's strange. He's strange. I just don't want to think about him anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
lilacwine Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 It's been a couple of months since the text & I haven't heard from him again...I think. I did receive a call for someone where it read "no caller id". This was odd because there was no message left & I had never received a call like that ever. I have not received a call like that since. One would think if it was legitimate they would try repeatedly to reach me. IDK. It's strange. He's strange. I just don't want to think about him anymore. WOW. why are they all the same??? These MMs are masters of playing games. But what's for? i don't get it. I believe we're roughly in the same situation. 7 months NC. And recently I got a call from an unknown number. I picked it up. Someone was on the other line, but didn't say anything. I kept saying hello and that person hung up on me like after 20 seconds... It happened twice over the past month.... I knew it was him (he can't call me by his phone anyway because I have blocked his number). And I hate it. Because like you, i don't want to be reminded of him at all. Link to post Share on other sites
2016forme Posted May 3, 2016 Share Posted May 3, 2016 ...after 7 months of NC. Received a text which stated "things are great" which was followed by "sorry mistake". I didn't reply and I am convinced it was no mistake. Does it matter to know if it was a mistake or not? Well yes. I want to know if I am reading too much into this or if this is the type of mind games some MM play when you go NC. Will knowing change NC status? Nope! What do you think, accident or not? It was no "mistake" that your ex MM sent you a text. Apparently he wanted to see if you were going to respond. He probably wanted to see where your mind is. He wanted to see if you were going to change the NC. Now your ex MM is gone! Let him STAY gone! Peace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bewell Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 He's throwing you breadcrumbs. Don't fall for it. My on and off and I think (finally?) now xMM used to do this to me during the many NC's we've had when he would go ape**** on me. Continue your NC and stay strong. I am approaching 1 month NC this week and I can't wait to keep going. I just want to make it to the end of the year without drama! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Juno, He's so transparent you could read the NYT through him I had exes make contact with me after 6,7,8 months of NC ( in the days before mobiles/texting was the norm) They would ring me to ask "how I was" or some such nonsense. I realised it was a fishing expedition and would usually respond with; "fine without you", or "has you latest girl dumped you?" and then I hung up on them. In those days it wasn't possible to block land-line calls and as I had an elderly parent who lived in another town I had to answer the 'phone. Now there is the ability to block unwanted calls, so please do it 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 It's been a couple of months since the text & I haven't heard from him again...I think. I did receive a call for someone where it read "no caller id". This was odd because there was no message left & I had never received a call like that ever. I have not received a call like that since. One would think if it was legitimate they would try repeatedly to reach me. IDK. It's strange. He's strange. I just don't want to think about him anymore. So why are you looking for him around every corner, then? I don't assume every strange random call I get must be someone from my past. Many here have recommended you block him yet you haven't. There's a reason for that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Grapesofwrath Posted May 5, 2016 Share Posted May 5, 2016 Given the way current smartphones usually work, it is very unlikely that he just accidentally typed that text to you instead of someone else. IME, this happens only when you have two text conversations going simultaneously or almost simultaneously. If you haven't texted in 7 months, your contact is buried deep in the history. This was intentional. Delete it. Ignore it. Remind yourself why you're better off without this a$$hat in your life and get back to the business of living a life that is right for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted May 6, 2016 Author Share Posted May 6, 2016 Given the way current smartphones usually work, it is very unlikely that he just accidentally typed that text to you instead of someone else. IME, this happens only when you have two text conversations going simultaneously or almost simultaneously. If you haven't texted in 7 months, your contact is buried deep in the history. This was intentional. Delete it. Ignore it. Remind yourself why you're better off without this a$$hat in your life and get back to the business of living a life that is right for you. Thank you. You are so right. We haven't text each other in 9 months so our text log would be so far down the chain that it would be impossible to text in error. Although I miss having him in my life in some compactly, I have stayed NC strong. He is an a**hole who doesn't have anything to offer except a roll in the hay. Sigh! Link to post Share on other sites
Denton2406 Posted May 6, 2016 Share Posted May 6, 2016 A similar thing has just happened to me, in that my ex MM liked one of my tweets on Twitter, when we don't follow each other and haven't been in contact for 14 months. 30 mins later he had unliked it, but I saw the notification that he had liked it. I am betting he is stalking me on there and liked it in error, then unliked when he realised. He wouldn't have seen my tweet unless he physically searched for me. It's a head fu** but I am kind of smug about it, although I will not go there! Link to post Share on other sites
Onlywhenitrains Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 It wasn't an error. It was a fishing expedition - deliberating and calculating move to lure you back into the affair fog. Don't fall for it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted May 7, 2016 Author Share Posted May 7, 2016 It wasn't an error. It was a fishing expedition - deliberating and calculating move to lure you back into the affair fog. Don't fall for it. If it was deliberate he could have said something better to lure me back in. Instead it is just keeping me away from him all the more. He failed! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bewell Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 If it was deliberate he could have said something better to lure me back in. Instead it is just keeping me away from him all the more. He failed! I'm laughing...(not at you) but at how insane it is to be in a situation like this. I know the feeling. We don't want them but we really do. What in the F? Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedCloud Posted May 7, 2016 Share Posted May 7, 2016 I just wanted to say, his fishing attempt is so obvious its almost embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for him lol. Keep up the NC. Mind games have no place in true love. Link to post Share on other sites
Rainbowlove Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 So why are you looking for him around every corner, then? I don't assume every strange random call I get must be someone from my past. Many here have recommended you block him yet you haven't. There's a reason for that. The reason is she's not over him. And as long as she continues the game of allowing him into her mind, she will never truly move on. First step to freedom is blocking him. You haven't because you are waiting for him to contact you. You are leaving the door open. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted June 27, 2016 Author Share Posted June 27, 2016 Now I know for sure...text was not in error. I just logged into my IM account and there it was....a message from him from over a month ago. I don't use my IM account much anymore. So there the message sat for a month. Again he did not have anything of real value to say...just "hope everything is OK with you". Why would he send a message to an account that is pretty much dormant instead of sending a text, calling, sending an email (does anyone still email)? Anywho I did not respond. I still haven't broken NC and it's been 1 year since we last spoke. I will say it has not been easy. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. I guess he was just fishing again. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Maggie888 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 (edited) Because they are just heartless selfish [people] who CAN. Cowards I guess. Ultimately dont bother yourself with "why" he sent it to that account, or why he even sent it period. The answer is b/c it served some need of his to do so. GOOD FOR YOU being NC for one year. There really simply is no other way. Its i always so clear that their "love" is really not the kind of love a OW needs, as someone who truly loved you would leave you alone, knowing they cant offer you a respectful real relationship. Edited June 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language Link to post Share on other sites
rumblefish12 Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 Anywho I did not respond. I still haven't broken NC and it's been 1 year since we last spoke.I will say it has not been easy. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him. Okay, that's huge! You really are to be commended. That's no small accomplishment to go that long, to then be tested like that and come out smelling like a rose. I hope I'm that strong. Or I hope to god I'm not the one fishing. Thanks for the good example! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I guess he was just fishing again. Skeezeball. Pat yourself on the back for having enough respect for yourself to not take the bait. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Juno Posted June 27, 2016 Author Share Posted June 27, 2016 Okay, that's huge! You really are to be commended. That's no small accomplishment to go that long, to then be tested like that and come out smelling like a rose. I hope I'm that strong. Or I hope to god I'm not the one fishing. Thanks for the good example! Thank you for the vote of confidence. It is real tough. I so want to respond just to see where his mind is, but as long as he is still married I know it will be more of the same: I miss you. I been thinking about you. I am unhappy in my current situation. Can we meet to see if the sparks are still there. I can not leave her because of XYZ. Blah blah blah and more blah. It has all been said so many times before. Actions speak volumes and I can not allow myself to lose my ever loving mind again over his inability to take action. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Lobe Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 I miss you. I been thinking about you. I am unhappy in my current situation. Can we meet to see if the sparks are still there. I can not leave her because of XYZ. You just wrote the fishing procedure for APs lol 5 Link to post Share on other sites
BuddyX Posted June 27, 2016 Share Posted June 27, 2016 People ask me if I still keep in touch with my X. My response is "Theres no purpose for watering dead flowers". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dogloverof2 Posted June 28, 2016 Share Posted June 28, 2016 I have wondered about fishing attempts. one day last week and then again today, I received calls on my phone from the area code of which I know XMM lives. I didn't recognize the number and didn't answer or try to call it back. Hopefully it was just a fluke. Link to post Share on other sites
Patrice Posted June 29, 2016 Share Posted June 29, 2016 Why do they do this? Another ego stroke? What do they get out of tormenting people? Link to post Share on other sites
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