Older virgin

[Goitalone]

Im a man of few words so I am a thirty five year old virgin which im not ashamed of. When I bring this up there isn't a second date which im not angry about because I get it that alot of women don't want to deal with a virgin at this age. I've decided that I won't waste anymore time on trying to get women to accept my virginity as there is nothing wrong with it. So where are the older virgin women?

[Lady2163]

Im a man of few words so I am a thirty five year old virgin which im not ashamed of. When I bring this up there isn't a second date which im not angry about because I get it that alot of women don't want to deal with a virgin at this age. I've decided that I won't waste anymore time on trying to get women to accept my virginity as there is nothing wrong with it. So where are the older virgin women?

 

I think I would take on an older virgin, but I'm out of your age range.

 

And while I joke and quip about being Blanche devereaux and viewing it as and artist with an empty canvas, at my age now, I'd much rather have a relationship with a virgin than just a one night stand or one week fling.

[GorillaTheater]

Im a man of few words

 

 

Me too, but it's mostly because I only know a few.

 

 

 

 

so I am a thirty five year old virgin which im not ashamed of. When I bring this up there isn't a second date which im not angry about because I get it that alot of women don't want to deal with a virgin at this age. I've decided that I won't waste anymore time on trying to get women to accept my virginity as there is nothing wrong with it. So where are the older virgin women?

 

 

You're right; there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

But. Announcing that you're a virgin during apparently every first date strikes me as a bad idea, for the reasons that you've found. It's simply an off-putting bit of TMI at a time when you're supposed to be having fun and getting to know each other a little. Emphasis on the "little".

 

 

It's your call, of course, but I'd rethink your approach. I wouldn't lie if asked directly, but there's really no reason to get into your sexual history with anyone, ever, at least unprompted.

[Goitalone]

I left out one thing im not religous so I won't be looking in church.

[Goitalone]

Me too, but it's mostly because I only know a few.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're right; there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

But. Announcing that you're a virgin during apparently every first date strikes me as a bad idea, for the reasons that you've found. It's simply an off-putting bit of TMI at a time when you're supposed to be having fun and getting to know each other a little. Emphasis on the "little".

 

 

It's your call, of course, but I'd rethink your approach. I wouldn't lie if asked directly, but there's really no reason to get into your sexual history with anyone, ever, at least unprompted.

One reason people withhold their sexual history is because they will be judged for it which I have no problem with. My last few dates decided an older virgin wasn't what they wanted which is their right and it doesn't make them shallow. My point is I put my history on the table so they could make the best decision for themselves and I would want someone to do the same for me.

[Emilia]

One reason people withhold their sexual history is because they will be judged for it which I have no problem with. My last few dates decided an older virgin wasn't what they wanted which is their right and it doesn't make them shallow. My point is I put my history on the table so they could make the best decision for themselves and I would want someone to do the same for me.

 

It needs to be at an appropriate time though. The first date very often is too early for this conversation, you can't unilaterally decide when it's right.

[jen1447]

So where are the older virgin women?

 

Probably at home reading books and watching Netflix and stuff like that. I don't think you'll find them in typical dating environments.

[elaine567]

It needs to be at an appropriate time though. The first date very often is too early for this conversation, you can't unilaterally decide when it's right.

 

I agree.

"Hello pleased to meet you and btw I have one testicle bigger than the other, I thought I would bring it up early, so you can decide right away, if it is sth you can live with or not?"

[Goitalone]

It needs to be at an appropriate time though. The first date very often is too early for this conversation, you can't unilaterally decide when it's right.

 

I just feel like people withhold that information and hope that the other person gets attached and won't end the relationship when they find out.

[Emilia]

I just feel like people withhold that information and hope that the other person gets attached and won't end the relationship when they find out.

 

So you are concerned about women getting attached too fast? When they are 21, maybe, not at your age.

 

I think you would benefit from having longer dating experiences. Allowing the women to bring up sensitive subjects.

[smackie9]

Question....so what is your excuse/explanation for being a virgin at your age.

 

Sorry to say this but many would assume all kinds of issues.... just curious.

[SwordofFlame]

Has this technique of full disclosure on the first date ever worked for anyone? OP, how did you come up with the notion that you needed to disclose this piece of information on first dates?

[Goitalone]

Question....so what is your excuse/explanation for being a virgin at your age.

 

Sorry to say this but many would assume all kinds of issues.... just curious.

Im not explaining why I didn't have sex when somebody else thought I should have and this is why I only want to date older virgin women.

[Goitalone]

I think I found my answer there are no older virgin women for men like me I wont worry about it and tell relationships to kick rocks lol.

[Satu]

It wouldn't matter to me.

[Goitalone]

It wouldn't matter to me.

 

I wish I would have met you ten dates ago, just curious why does it not matter to you?

[road]

There is no reason to say on the first date that you are a virgin.

 

 

There is no reason to talk about your past dating and sexual history on any date. The past is in the past for a reason.

[smackie9]

I just did a google search...there are tons of dating sites for virgins, and some sites like match have a section just for virgins. So look there.

[HereNorThere]

You have this limiting belief that all people want to know their partner's sexual history, but I have news for you, more often than not, people do not want to know. I almost broke up with a girl because she kept slipping up and making comments about past sexual partners and experiences. I don't tell anyone my number and it's very, very important to me that they don't tell me theirs. So far that hasn't really been much of an issue in my life and we aren't far apart in age, so it's not a generational thing. Simply put, most people do not want know.

 

The a bigger issue here that you are purposely not disclosing or do not have the capacity to explain what the real issue with us. Things like "man of few words" and other comments lead me to believe that you have some sort social/developmental issue. Is it Asperger's or some sort of ASD? Do you have a diagnosis? Are you seeing a therapist?

 

Finding a 35 year old virgin woman who isn't looking for someone uber religious isn't an easy task. Maybe not impossible, but pretty close. That's not your fault, but it is part of your role in nature. It's very easy for an anti-social man to go a lifetime without a partner because men are the ones who mostly do the pursing. Even the most socially inept, introverted woman is going to be pursued by a male at least once in her life. By the time a female has reached your age, she has been directly or indirectly offered some sort of companionship/sex/whatever literally thousands of times (even if she doesn't always recognize it.) It's not fair, but lots of things in life aren't. I still think I prefer being male, but I digress...

 

If you want a relationship, sex, whatever, you are going to have to work on yourself. Your virginity isn't keep you from getting laid, you are. There are books, YouTube videos, fashion magazines, online forums, etc. etc. all devoted to helping you to become a more attractive person. What makes you a better man also makes you more attractive to women. You just have to keep working at it. Like I've admitted before - the girl who took my virginity doesn't even know. You don't have to tell anyone anything if you don't feel comfortable with it.

 

Also, have you considered trying to meet others through other outlets? Surely there are online communities, support groups, etc. with other people who suffer from social issues. You will have a much better chance with someone who can relate to you. The jaundiced, jaded sharks on a traditional dating site are not the type of people someone like you should date. You need to find similar women and you may just consider not spilling your guts. It's not betrayal, deception, etc because more than likely you aren't asking them about the sexual past either.

[Summer3]

Me too, but it's mostly because I only know a few.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You're right; there's nothing wrong with being a virgin and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

 

 

But. Announcing that you're a virgin during apparently every first date strikes me as a bad idea, for the reasons that you've found. It's simply an off-putting bit of TMI at a time when you're supposed to be having fun and getting to know each other a little. Emphasis on the "little".

 

 

It's your call, of course, but I'd rethink your approach. I wouldn't lie if asked directly, but there's really no reason to get into your sexual history with anyone, ever, at least unprompted.

 

I hate to say this but in this case wouldn't it be better if he didn't tell...ever. I mean if he watches porn he can figure it all out ahead of time. I think if later on she becomes his girlfriend and he feels guilty he can confess he was a virgin she will forgive him..lol.

[Satu]

I wish I would have met you ten dates ago, just curious why does it not matter to you?

 

For one thing, its something that can be easily remedied

Edited March 15, 2016 by Satu

[jen1447]

For one thing, its something that can be easily remedied

 

I know right? Isn't that obvious? Training Day 1 ....

[Amytm]

I'm 26, but I wouldn't care. If I was attracted to you and the date was going well, it wouldn't bother me. I'd like that a hell of a lot more than hearing a gut has been with a dozen women.

 

Its just not a big deal to me.

[No_Go]

My BF was like you, even older (37).

I'm not sure if he has gone all the at before me, I strongly suspect he hasn't based on experience.

He didn't flash his inexperience in my face thought, wasn't concerned with mine (I also started late, at 27), and honestly, except the 1st 2-3 times that were a bit awkward, no complaints about intimacy.

Always keep in mind that's hard wired to learn quick. The negative aspect of virginity is the social one, if you're confident, you're good.

 

Im a man of few words so I am a thirty five year old virgin which im not ashamed of. When I bring this up there isn't a second date which im not angry about because I get it that alot of women don't want to deal with a virgin at this age. I've decided that I won't waste anymore time on trying to get women to accept my virginity as there is nothing wrong with it. So where are the older virgin women?

[Rumely]

Do not mention it on a date-----EVER!