ShatteredLady Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 It's heartbreaking to read all of your posts. I truly hope that you can find contentment & peace in your lives. MSOptimistic. Will you answer a question for me please. I'm really confused. How long has your MM been married? It can't be long before your affair started! How old was she when they first got together? I'm sorry. It just seems like a shocking age difference. How did you feel when you first found out that he had a 23 year old wife? May I ask how old you are? Do you feel like he needs you for a sense of 'belonging'? Doing the math he must of become unhappy, disappointed pretty soon after they married or it's a huge red flag. Did their relationship start as an affair for him? Sorry for all the questions. My instinct is to be very worried for you. I'm trying to understand & not jump to conclusions about your ExMM....maybe find some truths that could make NC easier once written 'out loud' & questioned. Link to post Share on other sites
Author msoptimistic Posted March 17, 2016 Author Share Posted March 17, 2016 I met him the very day of his 1 month anniversary. And just a bit of extra info....she is his 4th wife. Nope, not a good track record at all. He started from the very beginning saying that she had done him wrong many times but he was tired of being alone & she wanted out if her family home so they married. He used to say "if you had just come along a month earler" but now I know it wouldnt have mattered. So he has been cheating his entire marriage. I am 47 & her young age used to bother me but ai realized she also deserved some pity. Her self esteem had to be really low to marry a man who is older than her dad. Or else she grew up so hard that what I see as a normal income seemed like her fortune out to her? Anyway, at this pointI wonder if she wants kids or thinks about spending her time taking care of her husband before she even has to worry about her parents' care! I would like to add one other thought here. I spent much of the night trying to stifle crying and thinking. Not so long ago I met a gentleman through my H. We all got along grear,t and attended many of the same events. Apparently somewhere along the way, he began to see something more in the R, and expressed those feelings. I didnt see it coming, probably because I was focused on MM! He was a really great person and if I had simply been looking to get out of my M, he would have been the ticket. He was good looking, had a heart of gold, funny annd financially well off. But I wasnt and I wasnt when I met MM either. We dont just "allow" ourselves to fall for a MM. They are the one and before we know it we are hooked. Right or wrong, it hapoens. Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 (edited) When I was 21, my heart got broken by my boyfriend. I refused to get over it. One day, I was crying on my grandfather’s lap and he told me a story. He said… A farmer from a village would buy wood from the old man who lived one street over. The old man had a dog and every day when the farmer pulled up to pick up his wood he would hear the dog howling in pain. This went on for weeks. Then one day the farmer asked the old man what was wrong with his dog, the farmer replied that the dog had hurt his foot and was sitting on it. The man asked the farmer why the dog refused to stop sitting on his foot since it was causing him so much pain. The farmer replied “It must not be hurting him very much. When the pain becomes too unbearable for him, he will get up off of his foot so that it can begin to heal.” Edited March 20, 2016 by loveisanaction Link to post Share on other sites
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