joseb Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 Unfortunately it sounds like he is just looking for FWB. I wouldn't want a part of a relationship where he won't tell anyone in his life about you. Maybe he has another girlfriend? And no I would not do it w/o condoms, especially considering how fertile you both are. Though I would get on the pill or something more permanent if you plan to continue this. Yeah I can see now how he has so many kids! Oh but if feels so much nicer....just for a bit.... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
xpaperxcutx Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 The same crowd that is hammering him for not wanting to put the BF/GF label yet would be the first ones to tell you how creepy he is for rushing things if he wanted the BF/GF label at this point. He wants exclusivity. He he discussed exclusivity prior to having sex and told you he was exclusive to you. You, apparently, did not tell him you were exclusive. If you did, then the exclusivity question would have been answered. But you mentioned that that wasn't settled till the following day. If he was a player, he would not bring up exclusivity after sex. A player only promises exclusivity to get sex. Once sex has happened, exclusivity would be postponed. Re BF/GF label: Your OCD is kicking in again with all of the hypothetical situations. He doesn't want to announce yet. In a normal guy's life, people don't ask stupid questions like that. He doesn't see it coming up in casual conversation, so he if he doesn't bring it up, it won't happen. But, if you want to go the hypo route, I'll try to present it in a way you might understand better using an example you (and your guy) have a lot of experience with. Pregnancy. Most people (I'm not sure about you specifically) do not tell even family or friends about a new pregnancy until xx weeks because things are uncertain early on. And no-one (at least guys) wants the immediate drama (assuming things go well), much less the subsequent drama if things don't go well. I mentioned it before, I hope you don't internalize too much the negativity displayed on this thread. You could end up sabotaging the relationship. The word exclusivity from I've read of this thread by the OP so far is- "exclusive **** buddy". Sorry to be so blunt, but no woman would put up with this. And to add to the slight is that he asks for sex without condom? Excuse me? There's not even a title, which is can be easily given, but he's already for her to have unexpected sex. And I don't like the whole keeping someone a secret. If I like a guy I would want to tell all of my friends about him. And if a guy liked me, he would tell all of his friends about me. Link to post Share on other sites
thecrucible Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 OP, this man sounds gross. But please don't get down on yourself. You are the better person and I think more women have experienced this situation than would care to admit. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) Big red flag on the no condom thing. If he's asking you to do that, I guarantee that he does that with every other woman he dates. If you choose to go along with what he is asking, make sure he shows you proof of an STD test. But really, it's better if you don't. He's sounds sleazy. Edited March 22, 2016 by SpiralOut 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NJtoDC Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 How are things going OP? Link to post Share on other sites
riant Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 You are a closed and loyal lady. Sex for you is sacred. Keep it that way by telling him that I value sex as investment not a casual encounter if he ask you for that. Link to post Share on other sites
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