cookiejar Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Despite being in complete 100% no contact with my ex since the initial break up (no attempts by either of us to talk to one another) I broke no contact today. I recently learned my ex and I were working on the same shift and it was messing with my psyche. I feel like I saw him everywhere because I WAS! Upon hearing from a friend today that he blamed the entire break up on me, that i left him ... (he left me because he felt he was unable to give me what I want) I decided if I saw him I was going to spark up a conversation. It was just small talk. How are you? Things of that sort. I won't lie, I'm kind of hoping we can be amicable and friendly with each other, possibly friends, and maybe eventually something more .. but I think I'm still living off the initial high. I keep wanting to contact him again but I know I really shouldn't. I need to be patient. Anyone think I have a chance? The conversation went well. Awkward, but well. We were both a bit clammy and red in the face speaking again ... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 I don't see anything in your story to indicate there is a second chance on the horizon. I don't think it's a good idea to make small talk or try to be friends with an ex when you hoping for something more. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiejar Posted March 17, 2016 Author Share Posted March 17, 2016 Well, that's not what I wanted to hear but somehow I fear that's how it is. Maybe I'm jumping the gun on this one. :/ I should probably just continue back to no contact or see if he tries to contact me instead. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Anyone think I have a chance? Yes, you have the chance to go through the same thing all over again... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiejar Posted March 17, 2016 Author Share Posted March 17, 2016 See I'm one of those people who will try and try until I'm exhausted and I'm certain it won't work. I'm very stubborn. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 See I'm one of those people who will try and try until I'm exhausted and I'm certain it won't work. I'm very stubborn. Don't be this kind of stubborn: The boy stood on the burning deck, Whence all but he had fled; The flame that lit the battle’s wreck, Shone round him o’er the dead. Yet beautiful and bright he stood, As born to rule the storm; A creature of heroic blood, A proud, though childlike form. The flames rolled on – he would not go, Without his father’s word; That father, faint in death below, His voice no longer heard. He called aloud – ‘Say, father, say If yet my task is done?’ He knew not that the chieftain lay Unconscious of his son. ‘Speak, father!’ once again he cried, ‘If I may yet be gone!’ – And but the booming shots replied, And fast the flames rolled on. Upon his brow he felt their breath And in his waving hair; And look’d from that lone post of death, In still yet brave despair. And shouted but once more aloud, ‘My father! must I stay?’ While o’er him fast, through sail and shroud, The wreathing fires made way. They wrapped the ship in splendour wild, They caught the flag on high, And streamed above the gallant child, Like banners in the sky. There came a burst of thunder sound – The boy – oh! where was he? Ask of the winds that far around With fragments strewed the sea! With mast, and helm, and pennon fair, That well had borne their part, But the noblest thing which perished there, Was that young faithful heart. - Felicia Hemans, Casablanca, 1826. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 See I'm one of those people who will try and try until I'm exhausted and I'm certain it won't work. I'm very stubborn. Why? What would it take for you to know this can't work? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jayyy Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 wow I'm so much like you. I'm pretty stubborn too, especially when it's to someone I want. I'm like that about my ex. 7 months is kinda long of a gap if you ask MY opinion. for a first conversation i think it's pretty normal behavior. nothing bad yet nothing worthy of jumping around. if you two are gonna work together it's ideal to maintain at least civil behavior or a light friendship whether anything more happens between you two. but i don't think there's anything wrong with your expectations. I'd have the same ones too. Take this one day at a time. Try aiming for the friendship first. A relationship will happen only if he feels comfortable with you so go for it. It will take time so be patient and take it slow. if you rush he'll freak out. With time you'll know how it goes and if it works out that's awesome! if not at least you can't say didn't try. It's his loss! Link to post Share on other sites
FromSunToMoonlitSnow Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Is it possible you’ve answered your own question – when you mentioned you shouldn’t reach out again? I agree with others that an amicable relationship would be good, since you work together. But, it’s hard to imagine the future from that initial contact. Maybe you can see how it goes from here, without taking specific action to force things? If he takes the next step and contacts you, you can decide if you want to pursue renewing a relationship with someone blaming you (to your coworkers) for the break up? Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 See I'm one of those people who will try and try until I'm exhausted and I'm certain it won't work. I'm very stubborn. Well, get ready for a crapload of pain and anguish then. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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