Joebloggs91 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 I've posted a few times on here over the last week or so since the break up. It's hit me harder than I thought. The last few days have been better, but today I have had a bad day, and I think I'm beginning to accept its really over. I met a friend for lunch today and it was the first time I had been back to this particular shopping outlet (we used to go quite a lot) On my way back I had to pop into a local shop to return something, again, it was somewhere we went quite often. Every time I come back to my flat I think about her (we spent a lot of time here) My worry is that I'm struggling to move on because everything local reminds me of her. Every time I get in my car I think I might see her because she lives 5 minutes away. During my previous relationship breakup I moved out, changed job but I can't this time. I'm in a good job, and live with a friend so can't just up and leave Last weekend me and my friend went to another city for a night out. Booked a hotel and had a great time, however when I drove back the following day, the closer to home I got the more sadness I felt. I'm curious to know how others have dealt with this. I love the flat and I love the area I live in, but it just makes me feel so upset every time. How long has this feeling lasted for you? Thanks, Link to post Share on other sites
wlh22 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 How long were you both together? If it was a long fime and you are finding it difficult to move on, moving to a.new place wouldnt be a bad idea. You can move your flat but keep working at yoyr job. All the best man. I am in the exact same boat so you can message me. ][/b]I've posted a few times on here over the last week or so since the break up. It's hit me harder than I thought. The last few days have been better, but today I have had a bad day, and I think I'm beginning to accept its really over. I met a friend for lunch today and it was the first time I had been back to this particular shopping outlet (we used to go quite a lot) On my way back I had to pop into a local shop to return something, again, it was somewhere we went quite often. Every time I come back to my flat I think about her (we spent a lot of time here) My worry is that I'm struggling to move on because everything local reminds me of her. Every time I get in my car I think I might see her because she lives 5 minutes away. During my previous relationship breakup I moved out, changed job but I can't this time. I'm in a good job, and live with a friend so can't just up and leave Last weekend me and my friend went to another city for a night out. Booked a hotel and had a great time, however when I drove back the following day, the closer to home I got the more sadness I felt. I'm curious to know how others have dealt with this. I love the flat and I love the area I live in, but it just makes me feel so upset every time. How long has this feeling lasted for you? Thanks, Link to post Share on other sites
brothers343 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 It might take a while brother....everything actually depends on you. All your habits that make you think about her, change them. Be active go running,weights, even yoga. I started yoga 2 years ago and it was one of the best things I ever did. But all in all it's a process and you can jump over it. You have to go through it. Good luck buddy. Link to post Share on other sites
tim_90 Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Im two months post breakup and I have been in a similar position. Every time She pops into your head just do and say this; 'IM NOT GOING TO LET YOU GET TO ME, NO NO NO!' Click your fingers or clap and just tell yourself NO, every time she pops into your head. This is mental conditioning and its the same as training a dog or a child. Eventually she won't cross your mind, because you've trained your mind not to allow this. This will only work however if you have sufficiently mourned the end of the relationship. If not, find a point of closure, burn old photos, remove them from your life in every way and have a ceremony where you let go of the past, in order to allow for the future. You have one life, don't waste anymore time reeling from the past and start moving towards the future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joebloggs91 Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 Thank you for your thoughts - I am grateful to say the least. I've decided today that I'm going to take a break from social media. I deleted the apps so I can't log on. Hopefully this way I'll start to move on instead of constantly wondering what she's going to post. And anyway, why do we use Facebook? To look at the occasional funny video, and stalk our exes? No thanks! I want to be more productive with my time. Bad day today - back of my mind I keep thinking 'is she seeing someone else?' That's what hurts the most, guess it's a pride thing. Do I really miss her? Not really, do I feel sick at the thought of her being with someone else? Absolutely. Not knowing is killing me but I know that this will pass. I hope these feelings are normal. We broke up quite suddenly, despite it kinda being on the cards (I had an incling) she never liked being serious or dealing with sticky situations, guess that's her Immaturity coming through. We broke up mutually over text and I haven't heard anything since. Her way of dealing with these things is by ignoring them. Pretending they aren't happening. She's a cool girl, just needs to grow up a bit. That feels better getting it off my chest! Link to post Share on other sites
sorano Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 I had that happen to me few weeks back. some places I would go to, she would pop in my head. But I told myself, you are not going to beat me. You dont deserve me. I got dumped not to long ago myself. so I know the pain. Link to post Share on other sites
Empire87 Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Feel for you man, I've been there and it's a miserable feeling. You should just realize that it's normal for you to feel like "man this freaking suckkkkksss" for a while. As long as you're not texting her, checking up on her social media activity, etc, then you're just experiencing the crappy post break up emotions. Trust me, they don't last forever. It feels like they will, but they won't. If you're going no contact, making a point to talk to and hang out with your friends and socialize/go out, then you're doing everything right and should pat yourself on the back a bit. Take a look through the threads here and see how many guys/girls, just cannot do anything besides let their breakup consume their lives. You don't seem to have that issue so consider yourself a step ahead already lol. The "this song reminds me of her" "we saw that movie together" "she liked this food, that band, this store" reminders are just part of the process. Eventually you get to a point where you aren't associating the little things with her anymore. If you've had previous girlfriends before her then think about the experiences you bad with them. Were you unable to go to the movies ever again because it was too painful? No, it fades away and becomes just a part of your past. What is best to do is just continue to occupy yourself with your friends or progressing your career, hitting the gym, maybe planning a summer vacation with the boys. (Vegas pool party will make you so glad you're single FYI). Don't sit around and wallow in wonderin what she's doing or if she's missing you. Anytime I went through a break up I just told myself that my ex was definitely having sex with other dudes and that made me not wanna think about it whatsoever. Not saying that'll work for you, but just sayin do what u need to do to stop yourself Link to post Share on other sites
tim_90 Posted March 20, 2016 Share Posted March 20, 2016 Trust me I used to think like that. What if shes sleeping with someone else etc, the truth of the matter is that you both will in the end and when the time is right it'll be with an amazing new woman Link to post Share on other sites
Author Joebloggs91 Posted March 20, 2016 Author Share Posted March 20, 2016 Thanks Empire87 it's refreshing to hear stories of others who have been through the same. Helps massively. I think it's a dent in pride, I got promoted at work, got a new flat, new car, nice new clothes then she came along. It was the final piece of the jigsaw, only it didn't work out and I'm back to square one. Although it's only been two days, deleting Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat has made a difference. Us humans don't like change, we get ourselves into routines and don't like getting out of them. Ask yourself what purpose Facebook has in your life? Think how productive your time could be if you didn't spend hours during the day looking through pointless statuses and pictures. I honestly don't miss it in the slightest and trust me I was a social media addict. All about having some self discipline 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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