BlueNight Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 In a way I don't know why I'm posting, maybe for reassurance that I'd be doing the right thing? I've been seeing a guy for 4 months, 3 of those long distance with no real plan to close the distance. I'm still young and want to travel and live in many more countries before settling down. We are so compatible in terms of values, sense of humour, we can talk for hours, are never bored together and motivate each other to be better and do more. However, I don't find myself very sexually attracted to him, and I'm annoyed at myself for it! During our last visit I was relieved when we didn't have much time for it. I avoid passionate kisses and don't think of him romantically or passionately. I've told him I'd prefer a non exclusive arrangement, that I'm not really interested in anything serious and that I'm not really relationship-minded at the moment. But then he started convincing me I must have intimacy issues and that he'd help me, and that maybe this would be a more mature relationship based on compatibility and not lust. Now I'm not so sure...I really do appreciate him so so much as a person and friend. Anyway thanks for reading, I guess I know the answer already...unless I can change how I feel? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 I think you have your answer, you like him as a friend and nothing more. You need to tell him this, plainly and clearly. Don't talk about non-exclusive agreements. Just tell him you can't be in a relationship with him any more. If he can't accept it then you may need to cut contact. Don't let him tell you that there's something wrong with you. It all sounds perfectly normal to me. Link to post Share on other sites
RkJose Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 Why go through a ldr if you re relieved when you do not have time to have sex with him? It should feel incredible to be in bed with him after long months far away. And especially since its in the beginning (4 months is really when things should be the spiciest!) So yea clearly something is wrong and its not your fault, its just not meant to be the way its going. Im also young 23 years old and am deciding if i keep my long distance relationship.in my case though, what made me continue and last for 1 year is that our chemistry in kisses and in bed is absolutely incredible! So yea thank god you dont have this 'difficulty' and be confident you re doing the right thing. I wouldnt think twice in your place. Ldr come with so many challenges.. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted March 18, 2016 Share Posted March 18, 2016 There's absolutely no reason to stay involved with this guy. It's long distance and there's no attraction on your behalf. It's totally pointless. For LDRs to stand a chance there has to at least be some interest. If you stay with him you'll end up cheating so cut ties before you really hurt him. Link to post Share on other sites
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