darkmoon Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 she likes to lecture me, none of my other friends do it is humiliating, yet there is a void if I dump her after eighteen years of friendship, she was not always like this actually, so I just will not have her visit me, not that she did often, still.... she did not like it when I told her to stop, gave an ultimatum, she was angry, angry that I stood up to her anybody got a friend like this one? she can be fun but, not always Link to post Share on other sites
diddy Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 being bossy gives u power ,is that simple Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 31, 2016 Share Posted March 31, 2016 She may have been angry, but hopefully she'll back off a bit. I have had to have a chat about not bossiness but always countering whatever I say with fake positivity, which is the least positive thing a person can do, and I'm sure it freaked her out, but I told her she was making herself feel "positive" at my expense and that that was negative. She did pull back quite a bit. She and her sister reinforce each other doing that on the phone every week, and it's like a competition with them or something. So maybe after her initial reaction she'll peel it back some. If not, I mean, a friendship has to go both ways. You sometimes reach a point, especially if your friendship goes back to childhood, that you have to stand up and change course, just like you do with your parents and let them know, Hey, I can manage without your "guidance." But always, when telling someone that is going to hit them in a personal way, try to preface it with the good things you value about them first. Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 she likes to lecture me, none of my other friends do it is humiliating, yet there is a void if I dump her after eighteen years of friendship, she was not always like this actually, so I just will not have her visit me, not that she did often, still.... she did not like it when I told her to stop, gave an ultimatum, she was angry, angry that I stood up to her anybody got a friend like this one? she can be fun but, not always Say "Dear x, I've never gotten a chance to talk to you about this but I am very independent and like to make my own decisions and choices. All my friends are different and I value that but I feel a negative energy that I dont feel from others. This isnt to hurt you I just feel I need to speak up that it comes across as bossy and sometimes gets to me. Again because Im independent and just want to be free to be me and have you accept me as I am. We are different and will make different choices and thats ok. I value you in my life so thats why I care enough to be honest with you so we can keep our friendship strong and have respect enough to tell eachother the hard things" You gotta speak up or the friendship will crumble as those annoyances start to corrode all the good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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