Relationship forced into LDR and into breakup

[Mosufe]

Sorry for the long text in advance as I did try to describe my problems too much, I guess.

 

About 1 week ago my girlfriend of about 1 and a half years broke up with me. It was so sudden it ripped me apart so that's why i'm writing here to get some advice and try to ease the pain.

 

We met in an exchange studend program in Europe. We both have had relationships in te past but both ended it up before meeting. At the beginning she was really into me but i wasn't willing into turning our relationship into something more serious since i knew we would have to live 800 miles away after 1 year.

 

Despite that, we continued dating, going out sharing friends and even lived together for about 8 months. We travelled a lot during our freetime and grew a very strong connection. We would talk the whole night about anything even the most intimate things and I felt she was always 100% honest. She was amazed at how we would never fight and mentioned the fact constantly with a smile(as opposed to her previous relationship). Everything was perfect by the time, so I decided to dive into the relationship and make it work.

 

When the time came to go back home we got very sad but commited into the relationship. We would need to stay apart for about 2 years until graduating.

 

We would skype every other day at first, texting every time and sharing everything. She would go out with her friends regularly with the condition of texting me sometimes and telling me how it was after. I would also go out but less frequently.

 

She turned a bit distant at some point,only wanting to skype once a week, not contacting me during parties. I asked her to invest more on us(I was kinde rude since I was angry), we fought over phone but sorted it out the next day getting very close again.

 

During our vacations she was so excited to visit me she chose spending the new year with me and my family rather with her owns. She met my parents, and insisted me to go meet hers. I travelled back together with her. She was so happy and in love with me it was unbeliaveable.

 

I came back home about a month ago after staying 24/7 with her for about 2 months. We had already plans for visting each other again in 3 months. Then about 2 weeks ago she would turn distant again. We didn't skype a single time since returning(she always had an excuse). I was already tired of making all the effort so I also got distant making things worse and worse. At some point we were through a whole day with just 2 text messages.

 

I decided to ask her why she was acting like it. She denied at first but I insisted and she told me the distance was making her sad and the less we would communicate, less willing she would get to talk or to continue in the relationship like this. She called me later, we talked a lot she cried a bit and said to not want to break up. I gave her time to think and she decided to put an end on it instead of making any effort to sort things out(all by text).She wanted to stay as friends in social media etc as she told me how incredible of a guy I was.

 

I called her 2 days after to speak(I got too upset to call her the same day) since I think breaking up per text was the worst thing to do(she didn't agree though). We talked a bit and I was surprised with how cold she turned on me. She would answer everything with a word or two. I asked her if she was seeing or was intersted in anyone else but she said no . I chose then to go in NC and unfriended her in everything(it know its best for me)

 

I've been in NC since last Sunday(6 days). I got really shocked by all of this so I wanted help to figure out what could have happened, if I could have done anything, if she could be having an affair so quickly, if there is chance for us to get back together. I'm lost.

 

Thanks in advance and sorry for the long text but needed to take this weight of me.

Edited March 19, 2016 by Mosufe

[Steven1]

I know exactly how you feel. Going through the same thing sort of myself except my LDR was successful until she moved closer to me and went to Uni then things went a bit overboard lol.

 

We broke up by text as well and I tried to call her, and also like you thought she had turned very cold and distant. I know it's extremely hard right now, and I won't lie to you, it will be for a while. BUT you have to try and look past that. Stay busy and occupied, don't let it keep you locked up indoors and sad for yourself etc, obviously the first while that's all you want to do, I did, but try not to let it beat you.

 

As with you, I still hold hope for myself too that one day me and my ex will get back, and who knows? Sadly the dilemma is in the situation, do you wait and wait and hold out hope, false hope that things will go back as they were and this is just a blip? Or do you take the risk that it won't and move on?

 

Sadly this is a part of life that we just can't know for certain, things may or may not work out, but this part really is up to you if you want to wait and see, or move on, nobody knows that but you.

 

Good luck.

[Mosufe]

Thank you very much for your reply. I decided I'll be going out to and socialize more and date other girls. Even though I still didn't forget her this might be the best way to speed up the process. And she might also be doing the same.

 

What bugs me is how worried she was about me dumping her in the beginning and it turned out the other way around. Well, that's life.

 

Also wish you luck! Things are going to sort themselves for us.