Fool In Love Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Usually I don't post my own topics, but I'm in a pickle. I'm in love with someone, who really is a good person. He's done things, however, that have deeply hurt me and I've forgiven them (he's never cheated on me which is the most important thing), but I have never forgotten. Well since then we have both grown up, and he seems to have changed and become more sensible. We have a very loving relationship, and we are so close, and even want to get married one day. Except the past always seems to be there, and it's always bugging me non stop. It affects the amount of trust I have in him, and I have trouble believing he can tell the differance between right and wrong. The major things that bothered me in the past, make even the littlest things that happen now a big deal to me, and I feel like when he does something little and petty that hurts me, that means that he's really just the same old ass that he was before. Our past relationship has really been the only cause for any arguments in our relationship now. Actually now we are taking a break from one another, which we mutually decided on, and it is killing me. I hate being away from him, and yet sometimes I hate him for what's happened before. Please give me some advice. I want to get over this, so I can treat this amazing person the way he deserves to be treated. I love him and I need him, and he feels the same way. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 I suggest Couples couselling, Individual counselling for you, and communication between the both of you about the lack of trust on your part. Link to post Share on other sites
miss fortune Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 What *did* he do, if he didnt cheat? Link to post Share on other sites
ImaManDammit Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 Hmmmm..... This is a bit of a touchy subject with me because of had issues with a person past before. So what I can tell you is without going into too much detail is that you continue to let this affect you and it will be over. You did say you seen him change over the years. Then evaluate him on what you see today. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fool In Love Posted June 15, 2005 Author Share Posted June 15, 2005 He treated me with disrespect, and was hurtful.... He made me feel bad about myself, mostly about my appearance. He's caused problems for me in my work and social environment, etc..... Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 so you REALLY have not forgiven him....but have gone through the motions like you have? is there anything you feel you need to tell him, express to him? why not test it out here? Link to post Share on other sites
J dub Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 I have a hard time going back to someone who scarred my heart and emotions, but maybe thats just me Link to post Share on other sites
UltimateZen Posted June 15, 2005 Share Posted June 15, 2005 It is hard to admit that when it is over it is over. Sometimes the scars run so deep that no matter how much you want to forgive you can't. Perhaps it is fate's way of telling you to move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fool In Love Posted June 16, 2005 Author Share Posted June 16, 2005 I see what your saying ultimateZen, But I LOVE HIM.... I'm just in a pickle. I think I have forgiven him, I just haven't forgotten.... which causes me to get bitter sometimes. We communicate, and I have talked to him about my concerns, however, his explanations seem unsatisfactory or don't make any sense.... When really I think they are just excuses, when there is no exscuse for some of the things he did. A part of me feels like I should end it and move on, but then a bigger part of me Loves him so much and I can't leave him. I do think the good times have out weighed the bad times, I just wish I could forget it and move on, and that's what I'm having trouble with. Link to post Share on other sites
PatL Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Dear Fool in Love Pleeeaaase tell us what he did. (You are talking like a politician, girlfriend - saying a lot without really saying anything at all ) Remember, we don't know who you are and cannot find out - you are anonymous. Please just spill, for your own sake, even if you feel embarrassed or think it doesn't quite make sense/sound right or logical when you put it in words. It doesn't matter, because that's just how feelings often work. Please be specific, so we may be able to help you much better. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts