circlesinfinity Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 I just need some positive reasons why being ignored or overlooked by men is no big deal. I am NOT being negative but I am trying to focus completely on myself and I could not find any articles on this. I am going through some things mentally so please no triggers (i.e. stating things that are not related to the question, please be sensitive and respectful, thank you so much). Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 I just need some positive reasons why being ignored or overlooked by men is no big deal. Well, the one that popped out at me was that you can avoid all the anxiety of dating, interpreting a man's actions, wondering if he's just showing interest because he wants to get laid. All that ish is more hassle than it's worth, in my opinion. Also, if you're not being pursued by men, you have a lot of free time and energy to pursue creative projects, to travel by yourself; you have copious amounts of glorious "me" time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 You don't have to stress about your looks Yoiu have control over the remote control for the tv You can eat what you want without considering another person Your heart won't get broken I'm sure there are more but this is all I can think of right now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 Well, the one that popped out at me was that you can avoid all the anxiety of dating, interpreting a man's actions, wondering if he's just showing interest because he wants to get laid. All that ish is more hassle than it's worth, in my opinion. Also, if you're not being pursued by men, you have a lot of free time and energy to pursue creative projects, to travel by yourself; you have copious amounts of glorious "me" time.Wow! Thank you! This is perfect:bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 You don't have to stress about your looks Yoiu have control over the remote control for the tv You can eat what you want without considering another person Your heart won't get broken I'm sure there are more but this is all I can think of right now. Thank you!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrldii Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Some light reading for you, OP... 10 Amazing Perks Of Being A Single Woman (Yes, Really!) | YourTango 16 Reasons The Best Women Stay Single The Longest The 33 Best Things About Being Single The Art of Being Happily Single Enjoy!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 19, 2016 Share Posted March 19, 2016 Time to focus on yourself is the big one but if there is a man who does pay attention, you automatically know he's a rare gem and he likes you for you not for some superficial attribute. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 Some light reading for you, OP... 10 Amazing Perks Of Being A Single Woman (Yes, Really!) | YourTango 16 Reasons The Best Women Stay Single The Longest The 33 Best Things About Being Single The Art of Being Happily Single Enjoy!!! Thank you and I love tiny Buddha Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 19, 2016 Author Share Posted March 19, 2016 Time to focus on yourself is the big one but if there is a man who does pay attention, you automatically know he's a rare gem and he likes you for you not for some superficial attribute. Absolutely! And thank you Link to post Share on other sites
ShootingStarlet Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I saw this and I just had to comment because I can tell you right now why being constantly pursued by men SUCKS. I have a baby face and a normal body but my personality is quite bubbly and when I'm out with my friends I like to laugh and dance and have fun and that grabs guy's attentions so fast even when I'm actually just wanting to spend an evening getting slightly tipsy with my friends and dancing. Sleezy guys come over, dance next to me, touch my ass, when I tell them firmly to leave me alone, they get angry, call me a 'bitch' or think I'm flirting and just try harder. Guys come up and talk to me at pubs and tell me I'm 'pretty' and at first it's nice, then I try to talk to them, they don't care, they just like how I look, they don't care about my passion for animals or my studies or they feign interest. I'm pretty sure all my exs just dated me for how I looked, because looking back, my relationships weren't deep even when I tried to get deep, it was like they didn't care...didn't want to hear that I could have problems or be sad sometimes, I was only good to be with when I was happy and fun and 'sexy'. I've been nearly raped a few times too at parties where I'm having a slightly flirty conversation with a guy but he gets too drunk and gets 'carried away'. I've had numerous guys harrassing me because I didn't date them or kiss them or want their number. I get low about it, sometimes I feel like people only see me for how I look. My friend stopped talking to me recently when she realised I wasn't a 'cool instagram' like girl, I'm not at all. Guys tell me I'm 'not that hot' sometimes too for no reason, like that's all they see and that's their insult to me for not paying them attention. I don't even dress provoctively. I like looking nice, but I think I suffer from Marilyn Monroe complex, wanting to be beautiful (as every girl does) but then only being seen for beauty and never brains. I think if you're not being pursued by men, you may need a bit more confidence in yourself It is nice to feel pretty sometimes, nice to feel confident and nice to have some compliments, but the BEST compliments are on your personality and your brain. When I get a compliment about something other than looks (which isn't often even though I know I am smart) it stays with me. So I'm not trying to get pity for being 'pretty' , my mother and father have good genes, they made me and I'm happy to be healthy, but it can be a curse and nowdays I'm doing my best to dress down a lot and wear no make up at all so I can be taken seriously and left alone haha 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Heatemyheart89 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I saw this and I just had to comment because I can tell you right now why being constantly pursued by men SUCKS. I have a baby face and a normal body but my personality is quite bubbly and when I'm out with my friends I like to laugh and dance and have fun and that grabs guy's attentions so fast even when I'm actually just wanting to spend an evening getting slightly tipsy with my friends and dancing. Sleezy guys come over, dance next to me, touch my ass, when I tell them firmly to leave me alone, they get angry, call me a 'bitch' or think I'm flirting and just try harder. Guys come up and talk to me at pubs and tell me I'm 'pretty' and at first it's nice, then I try to talk to them, they don't care, they just like how I look, they don't care about my passion for animals or my studies or they feign interest. I'm pretty sure all my exs just dated me for how I looked, because looking back, my relationships weren't deep even when I tried to get deep, it was like they didn't care...didn't want to hear that I could have problems or be sad sometimes, I was only good to be with when I was happy and fun and 'sexy'. I've been nearly raped a few times too at parties where I'm having a slightly flirty conversation with a guy but he gets too drunk and gets 'carried away'. I've had numerous guys harrassing me because I didn't date them or kiss them or want their number. I get low about it, sometimes I feel like people only see me for how I look. My friend stopped talking to me recently when she realised I wasn't a 'cool instagram' like girl, I'm not at all. Guys tell me I'm 'not that hot' sometimes too for no reason, like that's all they see and that's their insult to me for not paying them attention. I don't even dress provoctively. I like looking nice, but I think I suffer from Marilyn Monroe complex, wanting to be beautiful (as every girl does) but then only being seen for beauty and never brains. I think if you're not being pursued by men, you may need a bit more confidence in yourself It is nice to feel pretty sometimes, nice to feel confident and nice to have some compliments, but the BEST compliments are on your personality and your brain. When I get a compliment about something other than looks (which isn't often even though I know I am smart) it stays with me. So I'm not trying to get pity for being 'pretty' , my mother and father have good genes, they made me and I'm happy to be healthy, but it can be a curse and nowdays I'm doing my best to dress down a lot and wear no make up at all so I can be taken seriously and left alone haha Hi Starlet. I dress down now/wear hardly any makeup , I don't enjoy overt attention (when it is all the time). I am sure you will find someone who likes you for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 I saw this and I just had to comment because I can tell you right now why being constantly pursued by men SUCKS. I have a baby face and a normal body but my personality is quite bubbly and when I'm out with my friends I like to laugh and dance and have fun and that grabs guy's attentions so fast even when I'm actually just wanting to spend an evening getting slightly tipsy with my friends and dancing. Sleezy guys come over, dance next to me, touch my ass, when I tell them firmly to leave me alone, they get angry, call me a 'bitch' or think I'm flirting and just try harder. Guys come up and talk to me at pubs and tell me I'm 'pretty' and at first it's nice, then I try to talk to them, they don't care, they just like how I look, they don't care about my passion for animals or my studies or they feign interest. I'm pretty sure all my exs just dated me for how I looked, because looking back, my relationships weren't deep even when I tried to get deep, it was like they didn't care...didn't want to hear that I could have problems or be sad sometimes, I was only good to be with when I was happy and fun and 'sexy'. I've been nearly raped a few times too at parties where I'm having a slightly flirty conversation with a guy but he gets too drunk and gets 'carried away'. I've had numerous guys harrassing me because I didn't date them or kiss them or want their number. I get low about it, sometimes I feel like people only see me for how I look. My friend stopped talking to me recently when she realised I wasn't a 'cool instagram' like girl, I'm not at all. Guys tell me I'm 'not that hot' sometimes too for no reason, like that's all they see and that's their insult to me for not paying them attention. I don't even dress provoctively. I like looking nice, but I think I suffer from Marilyn Monroe complex, wanting to be beautiful (as every girl does) but then only being seen for beauty and never brains. I think if you're not being pursued by men, you may need a bit more confidence in yourself It is nice to feel pretty sometimes, nice to feel confident and nice to have some compliments, but the BEST compliments are on your personality and your brain. When I get a compliment about something other than looks (which isn't often even though I know I am smart) it stays with me. So I'm not trying to get pity for being 'pretty' , my mother and father have good genes, they made me and I'm happy to be healthy, but it can be a curse and nowdays I'm doing my best to dress down a lot and wear no make up at all so I can be taken seriously and left alone haha Thank you for your reply. It really is not confidence for me but I really don't get pursued at all. It know it is going to come off as me being negative but finding ways to cope with these things is the best that I can do. I know women complain about being bothered too much but I haven't seen compliants about people saying they should be a model but get ignored by the opposite sex. I get that.I should model but get ignored, when I show interest, I get ignored...I feel like I can't relate to anyone about this. I've never had a boyfriend or sex. I think I'm just going to avoid the thoughts and bringing it up online because it's too many triggers. I can't bring it up without feeling sad or crying. Link to post Share on other sites
carnelian Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Well one thing is that your time is your own to do with whatever you please without compromising anything or pleasing someone else. I have been overlooked by women and that is the only benefit I can think of now. Keep your clothes and appearance up, I advise, even if you are not dating...maybe you will! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Yeah, OP, if you believe that time is linear and that we're mortal, being overlooked by men, presuming being overlooked doesn't occupy your time, can add years of productive living to your life. It can redirect your life's work product to totally different pursuits, which is important because work is a huge part of our brief existence and product of that work can benefit you in ways personally satisfying to you, rather than focused on being noticed by society or men, is more efficient use of your time, energy and passion in life. In the big scheme of things, we guys simply aren't that important. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 29, 2016 Author Share Posted March 29, 2016 Well one thing is that your time is your own to do with whatever you please without compromising anything or pleasing someone else. I have been overlooked by women and that is the only benefit I can think of now. Keep your clothes and appearance up, I advise, even if you are not dating...maybe you will!Thank you:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Author circlesinfinity Posted March 29, 2016 Author Share Posted March 29, 2016 Yeah, OP, if you believe that time is linear and that we're mortal, being overlooked by men, presuming being overlooked doesn't occupy your time, can add years of productive living to your life. It can redirect your life's work product to totally different pursuits, which is important because work is a huge part of our brief existence and product of that work can benefit you in ways personally satisfying to you, rather than focused on being noticed by society or men, is more efficient use of your time, energy and passion in life. In the big scheme of things, we guys simply aren't that important. You're so right, there is actually a lot that I want to do. Thank you for your reply. Link to post Share on other sites
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