Should I try or should I throw in the towel.

[Sooner451]

I have been married for 17 years. On March 8th she asked for a divorce. Now the back story. I have committed adultry twice in our marriage. 1st time 6 years ago was fed up on how she treated me being cold to me all the time. I tried to talk to her but after being rejected I went looking for just attention. Not sexual in nature. I asked for a divorce then. But she wanted to fight for us. And we or I thought we have moved on. 6 months later she went back cold again. I kept trying but with my oldest giving her such a hard time. She put up a wall. I kept battling to try to resolve some of our issues. 2nd time 3 yes ago I was sexting and she seen the messages. I never wanted to do that to her again. I seen the devastation that I brought onto our marriage. So I promised never to do it again. I have kept that promise. This past year I lost some wages and she went into her room she needed to decompress from her long day at work. We have 3 girls and they see their mom not doing well.

Now we are current she went to Vegas on her yearly trip for work and came back different she wanted to know details how I met the last fling years ago. So I thought this was her way of healing so I told her anything she asked. I was open and honest. Then by some chance we were at a kid function and she was showing signs what I did a long time ago. So I asked her about it. That is when she dropped the bomb on me like I did years ago. I am at a different point in my life. I love this woman with all my heart and soul. And I have a guy trying to sneak in a steal her away from me. I have been doing this love dare thing for the past 8 days. I just don't know if I should keep it up or call it quits.

[Tread Carefully]

I would go, as amicably as possible. You cheated on her, twice. Trust was completely destroyed. It takes a lot of work and love to reconcile after an affair. She tried that and then you cheated again. Now she is emotionally checked out of the marriage.

 

Your kids are witnessing and feeling what a marriage breakdown is like. This is affecting them more than you think it is.

 

Let go of this marriage and go to counseling. ALL of you deserve to know what it's like living happy healthy lives. The kids need 2 happy parent that co-parent well. Be involved in their lives. A divorce does not have to equal Hiroshima....don't put them through that.

 

And please, no matter what, go to counseling for yourself to figure out why you cheated in the first place and work on fixing that.

[SoleMate]

Check out Marriage Builders (Willard Harley) and just be aware a successful marriage takes commitment, effort, and making it a priority. On both sides.