MM all of the sudden so cold

[HappyAgain2014]

Tell him his action of moving back in with his wife has made his intentions clear. Tell him that means your affair is over and he needs to maintain professional boundaries.

 

Listening to any excuses or promises will only lead to more hot/cold behavior.

 

Stop being hurt and be thankful he did this. Now you know exactly where you stand.

[Satu]

The problem with OM like this, is that they never voluntarily leave your life.

 

They have to be ejected forcefully, and defences put in place.

 

They might not think of you for months or years, but when they think you'll be useful in some way, they always pop up again.

[bathtub-row]

"Rejection is God's protection."

[2016forme]

I have been lurking and reading the posts and they have helped a little but I thought I tell everyone my story

I have been with MM for a year now. It has been a intense A and I truly feel for him and really started to open up to him these last few months. I should also say that we work together every day.

The A started out slowly maybe meeting after work 1 or 2 twice a weeks. Sometimes we wouldn't even hookup for a couple of weeks. He would always call me after work, weekends, whenever he had free time to talk. A few months into we ended up see each almost every day after work or at night. It was crazy but the sex was just nothing I have experienced before. He was kind, caring, would do anything for me. I have never had any man do what he did for me.

 

DD came around 6 months into it. I still didn't take the A seriously. I told him just go back to your wife and work it out with her. This is where I was wrong. He said no I don't want to work it out with her. I'm truly unhappy and have been for years. She has been verbally abusing me and constantly belittles me. I want out because you have showed me so much. I got sucked back in and we continued for the next five months. During this time is win I let myself open up to him. Now I know I was wrong.

He started future talking, saying how much he loved me etc... I was on cloud 9. In fact he moved out for almost 2 months. Those 2 months were wonderful and I really thought this was going to be a real deal. But he never we went and filed for a divorce even though he kept saying he would and that soon he would be with me.

All of a sudden I didn't hear from at all for 3 days. He ghosted me! My instincts told me he went back home because it was unlike him not to call me. He would call me 24/7

When I finally saw him I confronted him and told him that I missed talking to him the last few days. He was like I was busy and my phone got stolen. Very cold so unlike him. I never seen that side before. So I was like whatever. The next day I said well what is going on with us. He wouldn't answer me and I kept asking. He said we need to slow it down some. I said so we are done right? No just slow it down some. I was like whatever. I just started to accept its over.

We stilled continued to work together. Just totally coldness and I gave it right back to him. It has been so hard!!

I did find out he was back home he didn't tell me someone else did. So yesterday I made it know to him that I knew he was back home. He was like yea I back home he said it to me 3 times. I didn't say anything or ask questions about why. I'm starting not to care but it still stings.

Like I said he has been cold to me all week except yesterday he tried to grab me and pinch my side like he use to do all the time. I turned my head just in time and pulled back quickly. Then another time I had to turn on the heater and he went to do it to so he was able to put his hand over mine. I pulled away quickly. It was very weird.

How can you be so cold to me for a few days and then now start to come back around and do what he was doing. Is he that miserable at home already?

I'm so confused! Anyone ever had to deal like this? I did forget to add that he has been married for over 30 years and a few years older than me

 

 

Pulling away from your married man is not a bad idea. It is good that you are not living a life of false illusions hoping that someday your MM will be all yours.Sadly I see this as a common trend among some women who are gullible and susceptible to believe that "alas my MM is going to be with me..." This MM seems wishy-washy and flaky. You don't need to be deceived by some MM who can't make up his mind about who he wants to be with. You did the right thing at first by telling your MM to go back to his wife and family.

 

This MM wants everything his way.On one occasion, he wants to turn on to you, the next moment, he's out of touch with you. Ask yourself if you're willing to invest any more of your precious time with someone who is inconsistent.

 

You deserve so much better treatment than that. It is going to take time for you to heal from this experience. And that's perfectly normal. It is okay to give the MM the long handled spoon treatment. Hopefully, he'll see that his games and advances are no longer welcome. Cheers to you.

[2016forme]

Tell him his action of moving back in with his wife has made his intentions clear. Tell him that means your affair is over and he needs to maintain professional boundaries.

 

Listening to any excuses or promises will only lead to more hot/cold behavior.

 

Stop being hurt and be thankful he did this. Now you know exactly where you stand.

 

I agree with you one hundred percent on this one. The MM moving back in with his wife is a clear indication that the affair is over. I find it amusing that this MM wants to be a Jack in the Box, coming and going as he pleases. This time, he can have his cake and eat It too. It just won't be the way he wants. Cheers.