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How do I tell my fwb that I've caught feelings for him


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Posted

We have been chatting for a few months and have slept together four times. We text almost every day and get along really well. When we do 'hook up' we make a night of it and go and have a few drinks and spend the whole night together. We kiss in public and a few weeks ago he held my hand when we were out. He's said things to me before like how he's not liked anyone for a long time and he is really caring and treats me with respect. When we leave each other after spending the night together, I can't stop thinking about him and it makes me feel sad and lonely and often quite depressed. I have no idea how he feels afterwards. I caught feelings for him a couple of months ago but have never mentioned anything to him for fear of making things awkward and putting him on the spot but it is quite torturous and I feel like I need to say something. Now, the problem is I'm quite shy and seldom talk about my feelings. I also don't want to make him feel super uncomfortable and awkward so I would rather do it over text so that he has time to think of a reply. So how would I begin that conversation? I am scared about doing it because I don't want to lose our friendship and it will definitely be awkward if he rejects me but I'm desperate to get this off my chest?????

  • Like 1
Posted

3 questions:

 

  • Do either of you sleep with other people?
  • Does he behave like this with other girls?
  • Are you guys exclusive, sexually?

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  • Author
Posted
3 questions:

 

  • Do either of you sleep with other people?
  • Does he behave like this with other girls?
  • Are you guys exclusive, sexually?

 

No, we only sleep with each other

 

No, he only behaves like that with ne

 

Yes we are exclusive

  • Like 1
Posted

in that case, you're not fwb.

people in fwb situations are NOT exclusive, they 'date' and sleep with other people, do not hang out with each other holding hands and do not mind if the other has other sexual partners.

 

You guys are dating.

You just haven't put a label on it yet.

  • Like 3
Posted

There is no particular way of saying it, and there are no particular words to say it with.

 

Choose your moment, and just say what you need to say.

  • Author
Posted
in that case, you're not fwb.

people in fwb situations are NOT exclusive, they 'date' and sleep with other people, do not hang out with each other holding hands and do not mind if the other has other sexual partners.

 

You guys are dating.

You just haven't put a label on it yet.

 

Thank you. We've never actually put a label on it and I've never brought up the subject with him because I'm not sure how he feels about it.

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