JohnsonBaby Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 And his response was what ? What did you say ? It better not be what I think you said . We had sex and cuddled for a long time ,which is unusual for us.. I feel stupid for having said that to be honest ..didn't expect him to say love you too but something a bit warmer than a startle . What confuses me is the affection and long cuddling session afterwards. His behaviour ,despite being a bit douchy,was quite attentive . Do you think cuddling after sex somehow implies feelings ?
abby_tx Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 And his response was what ? What did you say ? It better not be what I think you said . We had sex and cuddled for a long time ,which is unusual for us.. I feel stupid for having said that to be honest ..didn't expect him to say love you too but something a bit warmer than a startle . What confuses me is the affection and long cuddling session afterwards. His behaviour ,despite being a bit douchy,was quite attentive . Do you think cuddling after sex somehow implies feelings ? What a weird response on his part. How long have you been together?
preraph Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I think cuddling after sex coming from most men just means they're trying to be nice to you, but most would rather just go to sleep. They like cuddling before but not so much after, for the most part, but there are exceptions. Anyway, you heard what he said. Don't make him say it twice. He's not taking this relationship seriously or it's so early that he can't believe you'd say it so soon. Date other people.
frus69 Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I had few FWBs who cuddles me after sex but they are still just FWBs
Smoothman Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 I think cuddling after sex coming from most men just means they're trying to be nice to you, but most would rather just go to sleep. They like cuddling before but not so much after, for the most part, but there are exceptions. Anyway, you heard what he said. Don't make him say it twice. He's not taking this relationship seriously or it's so early that he can't believe you'd say it so soon. Date other people. I love to cuddle, all night if it's comfortable... 1
mortensorchid Posted March 20, 2016 Posted March 20, 2016 Cuddling is ok after sex, whether you are FWB, bf/gf, etc. But his response indicates something ... Bad. It's odd, to be sure, but it's odd as in bad odd not good odd. I'm sorry this happened to you, truly, but I am hoping you will be ok.
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 20, 2016 Author Posted March 20, 2016 Cuddling is ok after sex, whether you are FWB, bf/gf, etc. But his response indicates something ... Bad. It's odd, to be sure, but it's odd as in bad odd not good odd. I'm sorry this happened to you, truly, but I am hoping you will be ok. Yah odd ..I didn't get it either ,I would have just dismissed it . When I told him "I know you don't feel the same " he said "you don't know what I feel"
smackie9 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 When I told him "I know you don't feel the same " he said "you don't know what I feel" See it from his perspective. You passive/aggressively said "I know you don't feel the same." That upset him. Now he probably feels you were trying to make him feel guilty. Now that's bad. Just drop it and move on. 1
hippychick3 Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Unfortunately, cuddling after sex does not signify any emotional attachment. Some men are cuddlers naturally and others aren't. I had a FWB who loved to cuddle after sex...for hours, the whole night. But, there was no attachment. He was (and still is) a very emotionally detached person. He is very kind and giving but has no true loving feelings towards any women. On the other hand, current boyfriend does not really like to cuddle after sex but loves me deeply. Sorry, OP. That was a crappy reaction from him. I would hold off saying anything else to him and step way back.
whichwayisup Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Yah odd ..I didn't get it either ,I would have just dismissed it . When I told him "I know you don't feel the same " he said "you don't know what I feel" So did you ask him how he felt instead of assuming you know?
strawberryshortstack Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 So did you ask him how he felt instead of assuming you know? Yes, this would have been a perfect opportunity to ASK him how he felt.
preraph Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 The biggest cuddler I knew would cuddle with any woman he had sex with and some he didn't. It didn't have to do with love.
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 So did you ask him how he felt instead of assuming you know? What while he's inside of me ? Lol akward much ?
lychee Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 What while he's inside of me ? Lol akward much ? Just as awkward as telling someone you love them for the 1st time whilst he's inside you... Cuddling means nothing. Unless he says the word, don't try and analyze what he means.
caringsister Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 What while he's inside of me ? Lol akward much ? Not as akward as "I know you don't feel the same" regardless ... from his response I think you missed a perfect opportunity to ask him how he does feel.
Author JohnsonBaby Posted March 21, 2016 Author Posted March 21, 2016 I guess I'm trying to figure out how he feels through his actions /words and wanted to see if any of you can help me understand .i couldn't ask him after his reaction ..my gut feeling is giving me mixed messages .
five2nine Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 Cuddling means nothing... he most likely doesnt love you now but it could change
whichwayisup Posted March 21, 2016 Posted March 21, 2016 I guess I'm trying to figure out how he feels through his actions /words and wanted to see if any of you can help me understand .i couldn't ask him after his reaction ..my gut feeling is giving me mixed messages . You didn't have to ask him if he was loving you too, just ask if he has feelings for you, does he care about you and can he you two together as a long term couple. Isn't it better to know for sure than guess or not know? It is possible he doesn't know how he's feeling either, most guys need a 2x4 across the head before they 'get' what they're feeling and can express it. Obviously he likes you enough to spend time with you, have intimacy and cuddle.
Miss Peach Posted March 23, 2016 Posted March 23, 2016 It sounds like a pity cuddle to me. A lot of men don't want to look/feel like the bad guy. His reaction would be a flag to me to pull back and figure out if you're on the same page.
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