LordRevan Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 So I am currently in a temporary long distance relationship. My gf is currently studying in the USA, has been there since January and in May I am travelling to the USA to go travelling with her before we both come back home together. Before she left we had only been dating for a couple of months but we got quite close and decided to continue the relationship while she was overseas, since it was only four months until we would see each other again. Things were okay at first, we facetimed a lot and chatted. But about a month ago out of the blue she started voicing doubts and became distance. She kept telling me that she thinks we have different 'lifestyles' (but can't explain how) and that she doesn't know what she wants. I said to her that we should wait until we are together again properly to sort all of this out. She agreed and we went on as normal. However since then she has become temperamental and every now and then she will randomly bring up that she doesn't think we are compatible or have the same lifestyles. I don't know what to do. I honestly believe that things would get better once we are together properly again. But it is in another 50 days and I don't think 50 days of a ****ty online relationship will do us both any good. I am trying to be normal but she wants to keep bringing this all up. Should I just end it? I still like her and don't want to lose her but all this uncertainty is making me miserable. But the awkward thing is we have already booked all of our flights and accommodation for when we see each other and it would cost more money to try and cancel it, plus I would be lonely which would make me more miserable and depressed. I don't want things to end between us and I really believe things would work out between us once we see each other again, or I think it's at least worth giving a shot. But I find it hard to convince her and I just don't know. Has anyone been in any similar situations? Should I just accept that the relationship is doomed? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LittleTiger Posted March 21, 2016 Share Posted March 21, 2016 Hi LordRevan. Welcome to LS. I don't think your relationship is doomed necessarily as you will soon be back together, either in the US or back home. However, I do wonder if her head has been turned by some other guy where she's studying and your LDR is making her feel 'restricted' in her student life. It's a fairly common scenario. If I were you, I would ask her straight... 1) does she want to be free to pursue other relationships while she's away? 2) does she still want to travel with you in May? Ask on video chat so you can see her reaction and go from there. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Alirocks Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 So I am currently in a temporary long distance relationship. My gf is currently studying in the USA, has been there since January and in May I am travelling to the USA to go travelling with her before we both come back home together. Before she left we had only been dating for a couple of months but we got quite close and decided to continue the relationship while she was overseas, since it was only four months until we would see each other again. Things were okay at first, we facetimed a lot and chatted. But about a month ago out of the blue she started voicing doubts and became distance. She kept telling me that she thinks we have different 'lifestyles' (but can't explain how) and that she doesn't know what she wants. I said to her that we should wait until we are together again properly to sort all of this out. She agreed and we went on as normal. However since then she has become temperamental and every now and then she will randomly bring up that she doesn't think we are compatible or have the same lifestyles. I don't know what to do. I honestly believe that things would get better once we are together properly again. But it is in another 50 days and I don't think 50 days of a ****ty online relationship will do us both any good. I am trying to be normal but she wants to keep bringing this all up. Should I just end it? I still like her and don't want to lose her but all this uncertainty is making me miserable. But the awkward thing is we have already booked all of our flights and accommodation for when we see each other and it would cost more money to try and cancel it, plus I would be lonely which would make me more miserable and depressed. I don't want things to end between us and I really believe things would work out between us once we see each other again, or I think it's at least worth giving a shot. But I find it hard to convince her and I just don't know. Has anyone been in any similar situations? Should I just accept that the relationship is doomed? Long distance relationship rarely every work out. I was in a long distance relationship for years. I chose happiness, over our relationship. She could possibly be one of those girls that needs someone physically there. She could possibly be sad, and depressed that she doesn't have you. She is might be using your different lifestyles as an excuse to not hurt you but to try and move on. You have to let her go, if it's meant to be she will come back to you. You will find in doing so, while you're letting her go its hard, but you will start to feel the burden lift, and you will start to feel happier. I know no one ever wants to break up their their gf's but sometimes, you dont have a choice. Especially if it means giving someone you love freedom and happiness.. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Folks, this appears to be a drive-by so we'll close it up. The threadstarter can request to have it reopened via the 'Alert Us' button. Thanks. ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
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