smudge21 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Ghosting is wrong... woman up and speak to him in the same respectful manner you'd want someone to speak to you. Frustrated in what way? Is he now expecting jiggy time? If so, he can carry on expecting as that's always got to be a mutual decision. However, if he's just getting annoyed because you're not available all the time then once again, be honest with him. There's no point trying to be someone you're not for someone else, as eventually the truth comes out and besides, you want them to love you for you, not for who you pretend to be. What sort of stuff is he saying to you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 We're going to see each other tomorrow night for dinner, and most likely spend the weekend together. Maybe he'll be tired of me after that and calm down some. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 Ghosting is wrong... woman up and speak to him in the same respectful manner you'd want someone to speak to you. Frustrated in what way? Is he now expecting jiggy time? If so, he can carry on expecting as that's always got to be a mutual decision. However, if he's just getting annoyed because you're not available all the time then once again, be honest with him. There's no point trying to be someone you're not for someone else, as eventually the truth comes out and besides, you want them to love you for you, not for who you pretend to be. What sort of stuff is he saying to you? Okay okay I will say something to Mr. San Diego. Guy 1 just wants to see me more (read: every day) and wants assurances right now that I'm in it for the long haul. He wants the forever and he has abandonment issues. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 We're going to see each other tomorrow night for dinner, and most likely spend the weekend together. Maybe he'll be tired of me after that and calm down some. Ooer... do I hear wedding bells... or the sound of handcuffs? You have a low opinion of yourself (despite the fact you went online dating and had them lining up). I doubt he'll calm down after that, but it all depends how you are with him during a full weekend. You too may find he's not exactly right for you. Just keep reminding yourself that this is dating, you're checking each other out before jumping into something serious. Think of him like a car, not a new one, but a second hand one, with a few miles on the clock. You'd want to check it out, take it for a few road tests, make sure all the parts are genuine and nothings about to fall off or start leaking out the rear. You do all that because in the end you hope you've found the right car that will make you happy in the long term; something that will carry all your shopping, keep you warm and safe, impress your mates.. not something that's going to break down on you within a few months or leave you with nasty expenses for repair work or even rear end another car and then you have to have it put down. Yes, he's a car... test him out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 Ooer... do I hear wedding bells... or the sound of handcuffs? You have a low opinion of yourself (despite the fact you went online dating and had them lining up). I doubt he'll calm down after that, but it all depends how you are with him during a full weekend. You too may find he's not exactly right for you. Just keep reminding yourself that this is dating, you're checking each other out before jumping into something serious. Think of him like a car, not a new one, but a second hand one, with a few miles on the clock. You'd want to check it out, take it for a few road tests, make sure all the parts are genuine and nothings about to fall off or start leaking out the rear. You do all that because in the end you hope you've found the right car that will make you happy in the long term; something that will carry all your shopping, keep you warm and safe, impress your mates.. not something that's going to break down on you within a few months or leave you with nasty expenses for repair work or even rear end another car and then you have to have it put down. Yes, he's a car... test him out. That IS how I feel! But when I try to convey that to him (in response to his asking me questions) he gets frustrated and thinks I'm just playing around and wasting his time. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Pops Lets get back to reality here. You only met the guy what, a week ago? Now he wants to be with you all the time and wants to spend the whole weekend with you? Sorry girl but he is bull dozing into your knickers. He is fast forwarding to get what he wants before he even knows you and then he is going to skip off after just as fast as he has pushed in. Tell him to back off. Take it slow with that one. If you let him carry on the way he is then you will still get the "I am not feeling it" comment as if you steady it up. Difference is your bed will be stronger because you have not taken another notch out of it... Pops do not let that guy rail road you... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 We have only known each other one week and when I bring that up he gets mad. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 Pops Lets get back to reality here. You only met the guy what, a week ago? Now he wants to be with you all the time and wants to spend the whole weekend with you? Sorry girl but he is bull dozing into your knickers. He is fast forwarding to get what he wants before he even knows you and then he is going to skip off after just as fast as he has pushed in. Tell him to back off. Take it slow with that one. If you let him carry on the way he is then you will still get the "I am not feeling it" comment as if you steady it up. Difference is your bed will be stronger because you have not taken another notch out of it... Pops do not let that guy rail road you... Thanks Toodles. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 We have only known each other one week and when I bring that up he gets mad. Pops - I am not at all happy about this. This is REALLY abnormal behaviour. He shouldn't be getting mad he should be saying yes and I am really looking forward to knowing your for a month, then a year and then a decade. He should not be pushing so hard... Please walk away... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 Pops - I am not at all happy about this. This is REALLY abnormal behaviour. He shouldn't be getting mad he should be saying yes and I am really looking forward to knowing your for a month, then a year and then a decade. He should not be pushing so hard... Please walk away... I just need to get him to slow down that's all. I really think he will after he sees me a few more times. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Sorry, but he gets "mad" as in angry? I thought he was just frustrated? If he's getting mad and acting like he expects and demands something from you, then it's time to definitely give him some space. Just tell him direct "you're moving too quick for me and I need more time" and then go quiet on him for a while. His attitude should tell you whether you should proceed with this one. If he's okay with it then maybe see him later on, if he starts giving you hassle then at least you got out soon enough. Remember, like that final chocolate in the box, just because it looks good on the outside, there's a reason no one's eaten it yet. As much as you fancied this one, don't let that cloud your judgement here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 I just need to get him to slow down that's all. I really think he will after he sees me a few more times. So after you have both boiked and spent shed loads of time together then he can calm down? No Pops honey. This guy is bullying you and sulking when he doesn't get his way. AND he is doing it after just one date???? I do NOT like this at all. You should be able to say "I want to take things slowly so I will see you on X day" and him be perfectly fine with that. As it is he is being manipulative and showing signs of anger and bad temperament. No Pops - just no. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 5, 2016 Author Share Posted April 5, 2016 We've had two dates. I would call it frustrated and a little angry. I don't know, I will know soon! I'll try to respond more today when work settles down. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 We've had two dates. I would call it frustrated and a little angry. I don't know, I will know soon! I'll try to respond more today when work settles down. Pops If he had his life in order and was really looking for someone compatible and that would suit him in a long term situation he would NOT be pushing so hard. He certainly would not be getting angry and any frustration would be flirty and not possibly construed as angry... My brain is singing danger... Please stop. Sit down and think about this one logically with out him or us pressurising you. Do you feel comfortable? Do you feel safe? Do you look forward to seeing him again? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 5, 2016 Share Posted April 5, 2016 Being over keen and then heading into frustration then anger just throws up so many red flags. Even just being keen can destroy most relationships from the start. The fact is, it's been a while for you and I'm guessing he knows this, so there should be no harm in you saying you need to calm things down. He should be understanding. If not, then walk away. The fact is, dating and getting to know someone, should be the fun times, the happy times, the easy going times, the let's go for sausage times... they shouldn't be stressful or hard work. If they're like this now, then what does that tell you for later on. You should be relaxed and enjoying all this... it's that simple. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 6, 2016 Author Share Posted April 6, 2016 I feel pretty confident that he is going to calm down. I will keep you guys updated on what happens either way. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 I feel pretty confident that he is going to calm down. I will keep you guys updated on what happens either way. OK, but please do NOT put yourself in a position where you feel you have to sleep with him or that you have to date him regardless of whether you want to or not. Do not be guilt tripped into anything. Anger is really not good, more so in the very early stages. If you feel in any way uncomfortable, pressurized etc just get the hell out and do not let him know where you live for the time being. I am not there but my hackles are rising... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 I feel pretty confident that he is going to calm down. I will keep you guys updated on what happens either way. Just be aware of this though. It could be a warning sign that you don't want to ignore. Just remember, there's 7 billion people on this floating chunk of prehistoric rock, so always plenty of choices. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 I just need to get him to slow down that's all. I really think he will after he sees me a few more times. That's kinda like saying feeding the stray cat will make it go away.... Listen to the others...Don;t want to be the wet blanket here, but he's acting like a 16 year old boy...Mature and well rounded men don't generally do that type of stuff... Hang in there... TFY 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 6, 2016 Author Share Posted April 6, 2016 That's kinda like saying feeding the stray cat will make it go away.... Listen to the others...Don;t want to be the wet blanket here, but he's acting like a 16 year old boy...Mature and well rounded men don't generally do that type of stuff... Hang in there... TFY Right I know this is true. I don't really believe that he will keep this level of excitement up (he's 42)! It will die down! Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 Right I know this is true. I don't really believe that he will keep this level of excitement up (he's 42)! It will die down! Of course he won't he will shag you then move on to the next one. I just typed that didn't I... Didn't mean to be so blunt but I think you know where I am coming from and why. Hackles still up over here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 6, 2016 Author Share Posted April 6, 2016 You guys are worried about the wrong thing. Lol We already had sex the 3rd time we saw each other last Tuesday (I forgot we've seen each other 3 times). Sorry, I'm sex and love starved. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 You guys are worried about the wrong thing. Lol We already had sex the 3rd time we saw each other last Tuesday (I forgot we've seen each other 3 times). Sorry, I'm sex and love starved. Well that explains why he's hooked - you're clearly a sex goddess in the bedroom and now he can't let you go. It's all your own fault for being so flexible, maybe. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted April 6, 2016 Author Share Posted April 6, 2016 Well that explains why he's hooked - you're clearly a sex goddess in the bedroom and now he can't let you go. It's all your own fault for being so flexible, maybe. No, Lol. He acted like that before we had sex too. I think its just because this is all so new. Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 6, 2016 Share Posted April 6, 2016 No, Lol. He acted like that before we had sex too. I think its just because this is all so new. Maybe, but I'm still going with the idea that you simply blew his mind! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts