Author Popsicle Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Oh boy, he just called me and begged me back. He was begging, which I am not used to, so I took him back. Sigh, I suck. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Oh boy, he just called me and begged me back. He was begging, which I am not used to, so I took him back. Sigh, I suck. Ok just read this whole thread...Phew lol Popsicle, why did you take him back hun? You mentioned you didnt see a future with him (that seemed to bother you) so I'm confused as to why you took him back? Are you just looking to have fun right now? I also agree with katiegrl...he sounds like a love bomber big time. My last ex was the same type. Obsessive...wanted to be around me allll the time...then he dropped me...then he wanted me back (didnt take him back...thank god)....Oooo it stung though Jen is also correct when she said these forums give us insight that we couldnt obtain on our own...they help paint a larger picture so we can see things more clearly I wouldnt want you to get stuck in one of those on/off relationships...ripping the wound back open over and over. Are you sure this is a good idea hun? I think it would be a better idea to find someone you're more compatible with instead of wasting time with a guy who seems alittle loopy. I know that this all must be pretty foggy to you right now...may I suggest you think things over alittle bit more...take alittle more time to yourself (no communication with him) and sort this out? You seem like a good person from what I've read. Wouldnt want to see you get caught up in something ugly 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Yeah, I don't want to be in an on and off relationship either. I don't see a future with him, but I don't know what to do. He was just being so sweet (and he's really cute too). I've never been in this type of situation! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 10, 2016 Author Share Posted June 10, 2016 Oh and by the way, I'm supposed to see him tomorrow evening but I requested to have the rest of the weekend to myself (the 1st one since we met!). I will get some thinking in then. Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Yeah, I don't want to be in an on and off relationship either. I don't see a future with him, but I don't know what to do. He was just being so sweet (and he's really cute too). I've never been in this type of situation! Oh and by the way, I'm supposed to see him tomorrow evening but I requested to have the rest of the weekend to myself (the 1st one since we met!). I will get some thinking in then. SO glad you're setting some healthy boundaries and taking time to yourself! If I had done that when I was dating my ex...I wouldve had time to reflect and see him for who he really was...then I wouldve left. I think you might be intoxicated off this guy...drunk off his love bombing...I understand that feeling very well. He gets mad when you decline his offer to hang out...classic love bombing behavior...he eats up all your time...you probably feel like you cant think straight....been there and it doesnt end well If you gave yourself enough time to think...on your own....I dont think you'd get back with him If the weekend comes and goes and your still not sure...take some more time to yourself Also...try to have as little communication with him as possible this weekend...you need a clear head 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Oh, Pops.... Take the weekend and think hard: If you truly don't see future with the guy, why expend more effort and time? It is keeping you from healing, moving forward, and possibly meeting the guy that could be your future! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 I think you need to do what you really want to do here, not what that little sweet caring heart of yours thinks is the right thing to do. Someone begging is never going to lead into a lasting relationship as your respect for them will drop dramatically. I know you want to be with someone, but never ever settle just because it's been a long time without anything. I'd personally rather be alone than settle for someone that could make me unhappy and full of regret. With this guy, no shame in what you did or what happened. You gave OLD a shot and you got some attention. You have to kiss a few frogs until you find a frog with a nice car (I think that's the saying), so instead of moving backwards, head forwards. Value yourself higher and others will do the same. Good luck Pops. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Pops honey he is messing with your emotions to keep you hanging about so he has entertainment. Just say no and get your boundaries in place. Seriously its really not worth wasting time, energy and emotion on this one. Chuck him back in the pond. He is love bombing you and then he is going to ditch you. Sod that. Now I really do not like this guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 What's the point of all the drama if you don't see the future? Why? I don't get it. I am starting to think that all women of a certain age are desparate for a relationship with anyone. Actually, I had that sad realiazation for a long time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 What's the point of all the drama if you don't see the future? Why? I don't get it. I am starting to think that all women of a certain age are desparate for a relationship with anyone. Actually, I had that sad realiazation for a long time. This has nothing to do with Pops being desperate. It has everything to do with her learning boundaries and learning how to deal with all this issues that come about when dating. She has only just started so is bound to be a bit shakey at the start. Give the girl a break. At least she is not a serial dater and at least she has realistic expectations and an open mind. All very good qualities to have and to hang on to when dating. She is far from desperate. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
scorpiogirl Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 What's the point of all the drama if you don't see the future? Why? I don't get it. I am starting to think that all women of a certain age are desparate for a relationship with anyone. Actually, I had that sad realiazation for a long time. Wow, hope somebody doesn't look down on you at that "certain age" whatever it is. Good thing you're so good with relationships then huh? 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 10, 2016 Share Posted June 10, 2016 Wow, hope somebody doesn't look down on you at that "certain age" whatever it is. Good thing you're so good with relationships then huh? Yes because once we hit a certain age we are only trash after all... Nice to know we all get there at some point and nice to know the "sisterhood" is still strong eh... Pops close your eyes and do not read that comment! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 (edited) What's the point of all the drama if you don't see the future? Why? I don't get it. I am starting to think that all women of a certain age are desparate for a relationship with anyone. Actually, I had that sad realiazation for a long time. I think some women and men think this way...and some women and men have this mindset at a young age...some would rather grow old alone than be with someone who doesnt make them happy (Thats how I feel, I'm 30) I dont think popsicle is doing that here though. She's kind of in the same boat I just jumped out of. She knows he's wrong for her...but she's still entertaining the idea of him. Maybe shes hoping that for some crazy reason it will work out. I know I was Maybe she needs to hit rock bottom with him before she gets out I know I didnt break up with my bf until I was so stressed it began to impact my health Hope thats not what happens here...but whatever she does she'll learn from it...nothing like 1st hand experience to grow and better ourselves Edited June 30, 2016 by Disillusionment373 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 I think some women and men think this way...and some women and men have this mindset at a young age...some would rather grow old alone than be with someone who doesnt make them happy (Thats how I feel, I'm 30) I dont think popsicle is doing that here though. She's kind of in the same boat I just jumped out of. She knows he's wrong for her...but she's still entertaining the idea of him. Maybe shes hoping that for some crazy reason it will work out. I know I was Maybe she needs to hit rock bottom with him before she gets out I know I didnt break up with my bf until I was so stressed it began to impact my health Hope thats not what happens here...but whatever she does she'll learn from it...nothing like 1st hand experience to grow and better ourselves Thank you. That won't happen here. I pretty much put all my cards out on the table last week and told him that I don't plan to stay in this/with him forever. It caused a little bit of a fight but I think he resolved to just enjoy the moment and go with the flow for now too. We're still having fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Dis Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Thank you. That won't happen here. I pretty much put all my cards out on the table last week and told him that I don't plan to stay in this/with him forever. It caused a little bit of a fight but I think he resolved to just enjoy the moment and go with the flow for now too. We're still having fun. Good for you being honest and realistic...sometimes its tough to do that when theres feelings invloved Just dont hesitate to walk away when you feel its run its course I also get the feeling this guy might be alittle bit of a love bomber...so just be aware that he could go from hot to ice cold one day and drop you...been there done that Glad your head is on straight and know it wont last forever...a healthy expectation in this case 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Wow, hope somebody doesn't look down on you at that "certain age" whatever it is. Good thing you're so good with relationships then huh? Actually, I do great with relationships. I just can't meet anyone where I feel enough of a connection to start a relationship with. If I was more of a loser in life, it would be so much easier to find my match I think that's a completely different problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 Good for you being honest and realistic...sometimes its tough to do that when theres feelings invloved Just dont hesitate to walk away when you feel its run its course I also get the feeling this guy might be alittle bit of a love bomber...so just be aware that he could go from hot to ice cold one day and drop you...been there done that Glad your head is on straight and know it wont last forever...a healthy expectation in this case You are so right. He is a love bomber and I know that love bombers can and will go ice cold and drop your butt one day. It's happened to me before! so I keep that in mind. Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 Yes because once we hit a certain age we are only trash after all... Nice to know we all get there at some point and nice to know the "sisterhood" is still strong eh... Pops close your eyes and do not read that comment! You completely missunderstod me. I have never said women of a certain age are trash. I AM of a certain age. I just strongly dislike how women that reach that age think that finding a man is the only purpose in life. It makes me sad that that's their only goal and that they are willing to go through a lot of sacrifices just to keep a man that they are not even that into. OP refered to "giving up her weekends" to spend time with the guy she is not that into. What's the point? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Popsicle Posted June 30, 2016 Author Share Posted June 30, 2016 You completely missunderstod me. I have never said women of a certain age are trash. I AM of a certain age. I just strongly dislike how women that reach that age think that finding a man is the only purpose in life. It makes me sad that that's their only goal and that they are willing to go through a lot of sacrifices just to keep a man that they are not even that into. OP refered to "giving up her weekends" to spend time with the guy she is not that into. What's the point? I'm having a lot of fun right now. And he's really cute. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted June 30, 2016 Share Posted June 30, 2016 I'm having a lot of fun right now. And he's really cute. Good. Just remember what I said though... If its the same bloke I have my reservations! Eyes and ears open Pops! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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