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Okay, I'm doing it. I think it's time.

Popsicle

By Popsicle,
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Popsicle

Popsicle

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Update:

 

I made my online dating profile hidden like Gaeta suggested and that made me feel a lot less overwhelmed.

 

I had the date with guy #1 and I like him! He's so cute! We went to the Casino and stayed there for like 5 hours. We had a great time. He seems to like me too and asked me to meet his mom later today (Easter). I'm not sure if I'll do that or not yet and I'll explain why later. The big takeaway is that I do like him, but he kept saying that he wants a relationship, not something casual, but I'm not so sure that I see a long-term relationship future with him. I think he would make a great FWB though. Not sure how things will unfold...

 

I've also been talking and texting with guy #2 from San Diego (aka 500 miles away from me). He and I get along great and have sooo much in common. I see more of a long-term potential with him but he's so far away. I will be 2 hours from him this coming weekend and told him, so we may meet then (if I'm not too busy and he can drive to see me). Otherwise, he wants to meet in April when he will be here for an event he has to go to. I did mention to him that I had a date last night and he said that he hopes that I don't like that guy. lol

 

Which brings me to guy #3, who I made a date with later today. He's the one I promised I would see this weekend, but to be honest, I feel less connected with him than the other two. Perhaps because we have not been texting or talking at all like I have been with the others. He doesn't even have my phone number (didn't ask), but he checks in with me everyday on the dating site to make sure we're still having the date today. I guess I just have to meet him later today and see how it goes. Jeez, I'm already exhausted. *sigh*

 

My first date was really fun though! We even took pictures kissing! :D

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insert_name

insert_name

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Update:

 

I made my online dating profile hidden like Gaeta suggested and that made me feel a lot less overwhelmed.

 

I had the date with guy #1 and I like him! He's so cute! We went to the Casino and stayed there for like 5 hours. We had a great time. He seems to like me too and asked me to meet his mom later today (Easter). I'm not sure if I'll do that or not yet and I'll explain why later. The big takeaway is that I do like him, but he kept saying that he wants a relationship, not something casual, but I'm not so sure that I see a long-term relationship future with him. I think he would make a great FWB though. Not sure how things will unfold...

 

I've also been talking and texting with guy #2 from San Diego (aka 500 miles away from me). He and I get along great and have sooo much in common. I see more of a long-term potential with him but he's so far away. I will be 2 hours from him this coming weekend and told him, so we may meet then (if I'm not too busy and he can drive to see me). Otherwise, he wants to meet in April when he will be here for an event he has to go to. I did mention to him that I had a date last night and he said that he hopes that I don't like that guy. lol

 

Which brings me to guy #3, who I made a date with later today. He's the one I promised I would see this weekend, but to be honest, I feel less connected with him than the other two. Perhaps because we have not been texting or talking at all like I have been with the others. He doesn't even have my phone number (didn't ask), but he checks in with me everyday on the dating site to make sure we're still having the date today. I guess I just have to meet him later today and see how it goes. Jeez, I'm already exhausted. *sigh*

 

My first date was really fun though! We even took pictures kissing! :D

 

In the interests of...*ahem*...'market research', what makes a guy who you had a 5 hour date and got on well with FWB rather than relationship material, especially when he himself is ooen to a relationship too?

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Popsicle

Popsicle

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In the interests of...*ahem*...'market research', what makes a guy who you had a 5 hour date and got on well with FWB rather than relationship material, especially when he himself is ooen to a relationship too?

 

Oh shoot, you're not him, are you? lol

 

We don't have much in common besides having fun together and even he said that his past relationships have not lasted because he could not get the women to do the stuff he likes to do with him. I'm not sure if I'm any different either. I am willing to see what happens though. I think.

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Popsicle

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OMG guy #3 ended up being married!! Ugh.

Now I'm suspicious that guy #2 in San Diego may be married too!

 

Guy #1 is NOT married. I just came from his house several hours ago and met his family. He is single.

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dumbass2

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Sounds like you're having a good time with this guy. So you might not have a lot in common. Sometimes opposites attract. It does sound like you are physically attracted to him which is high on the list. One of the things I've learned, especially with online dating, is that I don't need to date someone that has most of my same interests. I want to learn more about other types of interests that others have. Sure, having a few in common that are important to you is great and definitely helps things along, but it sounds like you two get along great. That is harder to find than trying to match up common interests.

 

I love someone that can banter back and forth with me. Someone that the conversations just flows with. Someone that i can take an hour drive with and not even worry about having to talk and it's not awkward. People don't necessarily have to have the same interests to connect, but they do need to be open to learning new things and know how to carry on a conversation. As long as the other person seems open to learning about your passions and you with theirs, then there could be thoughts of a future. There are deal breakers, especially when it comes to values, but not having enough common interests doesn't have to be one of them.

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Popsicle

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Sounds like you're having a good time with this guy. So you might not have a lot in common. Sometimes opposites attract. It does sound like you are physically attracted to him which is high on the list. One of the things I've learned, especially with online dating, is that I don't need to date someone that has most of my same interests. I want to learn more about other types of interests that others have. Sure, having a few in common that are important to you is great and definitely helps things along, but it sounds like you two get along great. That is harder to find than trying to match up common interests.

 

I love someone that can banter back and forth with me. Someone that the conversations just flows with. Someone that i can take an hour drive with and not even worry about having to talk and it's not awkward. People don't necessarily have to have the same interests to connect, but they do need to be open to learning new things and know how to carry on a conversation. As long as the other person seems open to learning about your passions and you with theirs, then there could be thoughts of a future. There are deal breakers, especially when it comes to values, but not having enough common interests doesn't have to be one of them.

 

 

Thanks.

 

I'm just taking it as it goes. He wants to see me in a couple of days before I leave for LA on Thurs. I'm sure we will do that.

 

The guy in San Diego has said he wanted to come up to LA to meet me this coming weekend. He's been coming on pretty strong and today asked me if I would consider doing a long-distance relationship. He asked me to think about it. Mind you, he and I haven't even met yet, so I feel it's premature to even think about that. But, regardless, I told him that I am at the point now where my loneliness has reached a peak and that I really need the physical and doing something like an LDR would make me very depressed. I said that it's just not something that I've considered or planned to do. He asked me to think about it still and we left it at that and also with the plan of most likely meeting up this weekend. I still don't even know if he's secretly married, so there's that too.

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smudge21

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So three buses came along and one already had passengers inside. Oh well, 2 out of 3 is pretty good to say you only recently stepped out of your house.

 

 

Maybe, like me, you have a deep down fear of long term relationships so you are more at ease and happy with number 1 because you only see it as a short term deal (despite what he wants). Otherwise, from what you said, I can't see any issues with taking that one further. I also think the fact number 2 is more appealing because of that distance - it's like a safety net that you can always use if things don't work out, so it makes you more open to the possibility. I know it all sounds a bit messed up, but I've been looking at my own life and see that when something is easy, on my door step, available and ready to go, I generally will have doubts... as opposed to something that could be more of an issue, more hard work, lots of travelling, then I'll feel more at ease to jump in there and see where it goes. Odd, but aren't we all.

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Toodaloo

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Pops

 

Continue to get to know Guy 1.

 

San Diego guy is too far away.

 

Married Guy - forget it...

 

I don't think you should hide your account just yet though...

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Popsicle

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Guy 1 and I spoke on the phone for a couple of hours last night. He is taking me out to a really nice restaurant tonight for a date (his idea to go there, not mine). I'll let you know how it goes.

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Popsicle

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The date with guy 1 was really really great. :love: He wants to be bf/gf and go full steam ahead. I still feel like he would be a better FWB. He does not know that I feel this way. (I think it's too early to be talking about any of this!!!). Not sure what to do there.

 

Oh, and I agreed to meet San Diego guy this weekend for the first time.

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smudge21

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No ice cream left and all the Easter eggs are gone, so might as well jump back in here.

 

 

As much as you maybe don't feel it with number 1, the whole serious relationship thing, be careful that you don't blow it and lose him. Sometimes we can take time to really connect with someone, so this could be a slow burner for you or part of that fear about getting involved straight away. You do sound like you're really enjoying his company.

 

 

I'm not sure about still seeing Mr Long Distance now that you've spent so much time with Mr Unsure But Local. I know there's nothing to say you can't still go on dates, but I worry Mr Local could feel put out by this, by the fact he's believing you feel the same way only to find out you're still playing the field. I don't know, I guess it comes down to how serious he thinks you are about him. If he's already saying he wants you to be his GF, do you think he secretly already thinks you are? If so, he will be hurt to know you're travelling a long way to see someone else.

 

 

Just my two cents... now where's a big plate of nachos to eat alone too!

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Toodaloo

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Well done Pops.

 

Remember you don't have to commit to ANY of these guys! You have only been doing this a week!

 

Just keep your eyes open and ears listening.

 

Good luck with this weekend!

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Popsicle

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No ice cream left and all the Easter eggs are gone, so might as well jump back in here.

 

 

As much as you maybe don't feel it with number 1, the whole serious relationship thing, be careful that you don't blow it and lose him. Sometimes we can take time to really connect with someone, so this could be a slow burner for you or part of that fear about getting involved straight away. You do sound like you're really enjoying his company.

 

I know. Going slower sounds good to me, but he wants to go fast. I just don't know what to do.

 

 

I'm not sure about still seeing Mr Long Distance now that you've spent so much time with Mr Unsure But Local. I know there's nothing to say you can't still go on dates, but I worry Mr Local could feel put out by this, by the fact he's believing you feel the same way only to find out you're still playing the field. I don't know, I guess it comes down to how serious he thinks you are about him. If he's already saying he wants you to be his GF, do you think he secretly already thinks you are? If so, he will be hurt to know you're travelling a long way to see someone else.

 

 

Just my two cents... now where's a big plate of nachos to eat alone too!

 

I can only assume that he keeps repeating it because I have not given him an answer. Well, I did remind him on Sunday when he brought it up that we hadnt even known each other 24 hours! He just kept on though. I think he just likes to repeat himself.

 

As for the San Diego guy, I only agreed to meet him, that's all. I may not even like him in person.

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smudge21

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Well done Pops.

 

Remember you don't have to commit to ANY of these guys! You have only been doing this a week!

 

Just keep your eyes open and ears listening.

 

Good luck with this weekend!

 

 

I agree there is no commitment but I just wonder from what the 1st guy is thinking and whether he feels Pops is on the same page as him.

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smudge21

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I know. Going slower sounds good to me, but he wants to go fast. I just don't know what to do.

 

I can only assume that he keeps repeating it because I have not given him an answer. Well, I did remind him on Sunday when he brought it up that we hadnt even known each other 24 hours! He just kept on though. I think he just likes to repeat himself.

 

As for the San Diego guy, I only agreed to meet him, that's all. I may not even like him in person.

 

He sounds a bit over eager then... maybe slowing it down a tad would be good.

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Toodaloo

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To be blunt when guys rush they tend to end up being a touch unhinged. I would slow it down with Mr Speedy.

 

So you have 2 years LD then may end up with him? Who knows? Who cares? All you need to think about right now is - is this guy a great kind of guy and do we gel with each other?

 

That is it. All stays simple. Can't answer those questions with out some time so give yourself that gift.

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Popsicle

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So I met the San Diego guy yesterday. I didn't feel the same chemistry with him in person as I did with Guy 1.

 

The funny thing is that, technically, he is a much better match for me. I just didn't feel it though and that totally sucks.

 

So I guess I'm just seeing how it goes with Guy 1 now.

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