b_lee Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 (edited) Long story short, I've been diagnosed with cancer. Bad one, big deal. Doctor gave me a short time, told me to quit my job, get all my money and travel the world, enjoy the time I have left. I've already accepted that I'll be gone soon. That's what I wanted to do. I'm not married, and I've always dreamed that one day me and my partner would travel the world to know every beautiful place out there...Thailand's beaches, Caribbean sea, Brazil's nature, Europe and all its history, Japan with its huge cities... I still have time for this, and I will do this. My mother, however, is refusing point blankly to accept me traveling. I understand she is having the hardest of times accepting my faith, however, she stands still telling me that all my time left on this world should be spent next to my family. She tells me I should move back with her and my dad and spend the rest of my days with them, not traveling the world alone, they can't afford to go with me. She tells me she's my mother, and she has the right to spend the rest of my days next to me. I don't know what to do anymore...I want to travel this world before I'm gone. But I don't want to leave this world with my mother disappointed at me. I'm, at the same time, angry at my mother, and angry at me. I feel my mother is just mean and I feel egotistical wanting to explore the world. Edited March 22, 2016 by b_lee Typo Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I'm so sorry to hear that you're in this situation. However, your doctor's advice and your plans don't make sense. If you will be gone soon, this means you've got a very aggressive cancer and will start getting ill quickly. How will you manage alone and overseas? How will you find healthcare over there? And yes, I can understand your parents wanting to spend your last days with you. Perhaps you could choose one favourite place to go and take your mum with you? Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 So sorry to hear of your plight! Is there any way your mum could scrape together some money (sell something??) to join you on part of your travels. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 I hope you come and read my response. First off, I'm sorry to hear this prognosis, and with that said you certainly have a zest for life! I say, travel. Take a friend or go on your own, experience what you can and be at peace with it. I understand your mom not wanting to let you go, she loves you and wants to spend every minute with you but the decision is yours, it's YOUR life to live not hers. You want to be alive, living life and doing things not just sitting at home waiting it out with your parents. Happy travels, I hope you decide to go, and also come back to LS. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 OP, let me be the first to apologize for the rude post and to the posters in this thread.. let's keep the posts topical and helpful. Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted March 22, 2016 Share Posted March 22, 2016 First of all, I'm very sorry for your diagnosis. You have a very tough decision to make and I'm so sorry that your last wishes have been met with such disapproval. I'm sure you understand how desperate your mother is to hold on to you and be with you till your very last days. It is your life though, OP. Your journey, your life. Only you will know what will make you happy and satisfied for the rest of your life. It would be easy if your mother was more understanding but again, can you imagine her desperation and sadness too? Can there be a bit of a compromise? Can you travel for a bit and come back the rest of the time? My Uncle was told he had 6 months when he was diagnosed and lived for another 3 years. Can you travel for say 3 months come back...and if you're feeling well enough... go out on another adventure in a few months? That way you would be fullfilling your wish and also spending time with your family... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 Hi b_lee, I am so truly sorry to hear about your condition. I don't have children, but even I can understand why a mother would want to hold onto her child up to the very last minute that she can--it's out of her love for you obviously. But with that said, it is NOT selfish of you to want to pursue this dream of yours that you held in your heart for so long. I agree with your doctor--go, go fly, and see all that you wanted to see and explore. Traveling can be so truly healing. But more than anything else, there's something about traveling that is a LIVING experience--it makes you feel alive in a viscerally deep and personal way. It makes you feel truly connected to all of life. Please forgive me if my words are insensitive. Some people are born travelers in this world--it's in their blood to experience life through it. You sound like one of those free souls. You deserve to soak it all in just the way you want it -- so Go for it. A couple of thoughts to add: 1. Where do you live, if I may ask? I live in the US and travelled through the mountains--I had NO idea US has such incredible natural wild beauty hidden away. Depending on where you live, can you explore your own country to find a few places that you might actually want to explore--I'm thinking perhaps then you could take your mom with you to travel to a nearby location for a short amount of time to show her why her son loves traveling; she will actually treasure that memory and have the chance to be a part of your dream-catching exploration. Then after the short trips, you can travel the world on your own. 2. Reading your post made me think of the movie The Way; it's one of my all time favorite movies. A truly inspirational film. Maybe more appropriate for your mom to watch, though I'm sure it will be painful. (spoiler alert: it's about a son whose dream was to travel; the father objected to this the whole time, but after the son passed away, the father completes the journey in the son's memory and discovers the meaning of traveling and to keep his son alive through the process of traveling). You know the shooting stars that always disappear far too quickly always have the brightest light and the most amazing beauty in them. And you are one of them--a shooting star. May all your beautiful dreams come true. I do hope you travel and fall in love with all that you always wanted to see and experience. Let all those wonderful place see you. My thoughts are with you. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted March 23, 2016 Share Posted March 23, 2016 If it's about the money, why not spend some of whatever you have to pay for your parents to go with you? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mirandaaa Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 Long story short, I've been diagnosed with cancer. Bad one, big deal. Doctor gave me a short time, told me to quit my job, get all my money and travel the world, enjoy the time I have left. I've already accepted that I'll be gone soon. That's what I wanted to do. I'm not married, and I've always dreamed that one day me and my partner would travel the world to know every beautiful place out there...Thailand's beaches, Caribbean sea, Brazil's nature, Europe and all its history, Japan with its huge cities... I still have time for this, and I will do this. My mother, however, is refusing point blankly to accept me traveling. I understand she is having the hardest of times accepting my faith, however, she stands still telling me that all my time left on this world should be spent next to my family. She tells me I should move back with her and my dad and spend the rest of my days with them, not traveling the world alone, they can't afford to go with me. She tells me she's my mother, and she has the right to spend the rest of my days next to me. I don't know what to do anymore...I want to travel this world before I'm gone. But I don't want to leave this world with my mother disappointed at me. I'm, at the same time, angry at my mother, and angry at me. I feel my mother is just mean and I feel egotistical wanting to explore the world. Guilt trips suck and as your mother she has no right to suck your life from you. I can't believe that she would even put that crap on you. You have a perfect right to be angry. Maybe your mother isn't mean, maybe she just feels like she won't have enough time with you and she will grieve more after you're gone but if she is truly looking out for your best interest, she won't guilt you. Don't feel egotistical. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Posted March 26, 2016 Share Posted March 26, 2016 The thread starter has not been back for a few days so we'll close this up. If they wish for more feedback they can let us know via the 'Alert Us' button. Thanks, ~6 Link to post Share on other sites
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