I just can't get over him?

[Metty]

Me and a guy dated for months but it ended in misunderstandings. He hurt me on purpose in the process (not too serious really and apparently I hurt him too) and even though he apologized I could not forgive him. I really wanted to work things out but I am extremely resentful and gets hurt easily. I showed no interest in "getting back together" and he even reached out one last time but I was sort of stuck in this resentful mindset. He was a mess at that point and we really liked each other now here's the thing, only a month later he had a new girlfriend? I took it as a clear sign that there was no chance of the two of us getting back together so I was thinking it's his loss. I started moving on. He shoved her in my face and I ignored it. He would always stare and try to get my attention when I did see him. He always greeted me and kept looking at my social media, it all gave me a sense of hope because he seemed interested so moving on became harder. I found myself thinking of him a lot and the unfinished buisness. I've had flings but at the end of the day I was always thinking about him. The thing is that I can not move on.. It's been a half year since we went separate ways and I'm still in love with him and he has a freaking girlfriend, what's wrong with me? I have done everything to push aside my strong feelings for him but I can't. I started ignoring him in person so he would stop staring and stop greeting because he has a girlfriend. There is no chance. I try so hard to deny my feelings it's getting really hard, I can't tell my friend and I just laugh it off but it hurts so much. My point is that I never get over him, I keep running into him, I feel heartbroken and I am in love with someone I can't have. Sometimes I feel like he's the one who got away.

I just want someone else's opinion on this situation because I have no clue what happened..

[d0nnivain]

You need to cut contact for your own sanity. Block him on all social media. Out of sight out of mind.

 

If he was callous enough to hurt you intentionally & then shove his new GF in your face, you don't need him.

[Satu]

snip

*I am in love with someone I can't have.

 

*The sad thing here is not that you're "in love with someone you can't have," the sad thing is that you're 'in love' with someone who doesn't love you, and doesn't care about you.

 

But there's hope.

 

The hope is that you will realise that this isn't love, but is in fact, a very unhealthy infatuation.

 

Do yourself a favour and get some counselling.

 

That might help you to find out what love is.

 

 

Take care.

[Metty]

snip

 

 

*The sad thing here is not that you're "in love with someone you can't have," the sad thing is that you're 'in love' with someone who doesn't love you, and doesn't care about you.

 

But there's hope.

The hope is that you will realise that this isn't love, but is in fact, a very unhealthy infatuation.

 

Do yourself a favour and get some counselling.

 

That might help you to find out what love is.

 

 

Take care.

 

Thank you for your opinion and you are probably right the things is though. That confessed being in love with me during our dating. I chose not to go into the misunderstanding situation because it's complicated but he didn't think I cared. I did and I was in love with him but by the time we talked about this he had already hurt me and we had already began to drift apart at that point. The whole thing was a misunderstanding. He walked around thinking I did not like him the same way he liked me and the same thing goes for me. And like I mentioned, I couldn't get through it because I'm resentful and next thing I know he has a girlfriend.

[stillafool]

He couldn't have been too hurt by the breakup because he got another gf within a month and they are still together 6 months later. He has had plenty of opportunity to get you back if that's really what he wanted. I think you need to block him so you can move on. I know sometimes love hurts but you will be okay.

 

Why can't you talk to your friend about how you really feel about this guy?

[Metty]

He couldn't have been too hurt by the breakup because he got another gf within a month and they are still together 6 months later. He has had plenty of opportunity to get you back if that's really what he wanted. I think you need to block him so you can move on. I know sometimes love hurts but you will be okay.

 

Why can't you talk to your friend about how you really feel about this guy?

 

Thanks. I have talked to my closest friends about it but they just say "forget about it he has moved on" or just a shrug. I don't think they quite get it. Which is why I came here.

[d0nnivain]

The whole thing was a misunderstanding. He walked around thinking I did not like him the same way he liked me and the same thing goes for me. And like I mentioned, I couldn't get through it because I'm resentful and next thing I know he has a girlfriend.

 

Trying to find anything positive in this, what have you learned from this experience? Hopefully you have learned that holding on to resentment doesn't help anything & that you have to prevent misunderstandings by communicating more clearly. If a misunderstanding develops & they will, address it.

 

Best wishes moving forward without him.

 

The mere fact that he moved on so soon indicates that your initial instincts about him at least not loving you enough may have been spot on. Let go of him already; listen to your friends

[Metty]

Trying to find anything positive in this, what have you learned from this experience? Hopefully you have learned that holding on to resentment doesn't help anything & that you have to prevent misunderstandings by communicating more clearly. If a misunderstanding develops & they will, address it.

 

Best wishes moving forward without him.

 

The mere fact that he moved on so soon indicates that your initial instincts about him at least not loving you enough may have been spot on. Let go of him already; listen to your friends

 

Well I learned the importance of communicating so I won't repeat that mistake. Other than that I don't see anything positive, sadly. I suppose it will make sense someday when I get over him and find someone else. He is known for jumping from girl to girl so it wasn't that unexpected to be honest but it did hurt. I mean he left someone for me when we started dating. Thank you for your advice but it sucks being in this situation, really.

[ShootingStarlet]

I'm in the exact same position!!!!

 

We broke up last May, he got a new girlfriend within 2 weeks (he claimed at first they weren't together but then they were together and even went travelling in Asia together for months) It was so confusing and hurtful and you would think I would hate his guts and have found someone else by NOW but nope...I dated 3 guys semi-seriously, they all had their qualities, I'm even going on a date with a really amazing guy this week who is so attractive and cool but do I feel excited...nope. I don't even care how I look. But if my ex is there I would be so nervous and I'd get butterflies and ughhh ... it's the worst! But I think it's ok to feel this way, it's ok to feel in love with somone you can't be with but I've recently gone into complete NC and I'm thinking that if there's any hope of me and my ex, he will return to me and we will start over and go slow but that time isn't now anyway...so for now, pretend your ex literally moved away, lives in a different dimension, he's invisible...block him out so he can't effect your mood. I like to think of where I might be in 5 years, it gives me perspective that what we feel can't last forever even though it feels so strong now ! How I felt for people 5 years ago is nearly laughable to me because I feel nothing for those ex boyfriends now ..except this one, because we were together for 4 years so. Anyway I wish you so much luck and try meditation it does work wonders !