Is it love or just friendship?

[Candygirl21]

Hi.. I am a woman from Philippines. I just want an opinion, advice from a person who can relate with me.

 

I have an online male friend who is from india. We've been chatting for almost a year now. I am 3 years older than him. He was a college student and I am already graduate and working on a regular job.

 

He chats me almost everyday, we do regular video calls. He even says he misses me so much whenever either one of us are out of town. But he never said he liked me, although he always compliments me like saying I am beautiful, kind and good in stuffs. I find him sweet, funny and attractive too. He is good in english and is intelligent as I have noticed. I am so comfortable taking to him about what happened to me during the day. We exchange simple question to know more about each other and found out that we almost share the same hobbies and interests in life.

 

I am now also unconsciouslly sharing him personal information like about my family and friends and so on, yet he is private at times. He also asked me if I could find a job in India and that he wanted to see me but he has to have a job and earn first too. I am not from a wealthy family and do not earn much but I am more willing to travel and spent a lot just to see him. I am a private person and never chatted anyone before but him.

 

To my surprise, I noticed that I'm beginning to fall for him. I don't want to fall for someone I am not even sure of (we are countries away, we are from different culture and religion). I never dreamed and thought of falling for a foreign man ever but I am not against marrying interculture. I never have fallen for someone younger than me and never even thought I could. I have many suitors in our country but I never entertained them because I wanted to be with him. I wanted to know him more but he tends to be so private.

 

I am just so confused with his actions... If there are indian guys here, what do you think of his actions? Am I just assuming that he likes me too, even when he said we are JUST chatmates?

I am an advisor and counsellor at work but I can't advice for myself with regards falling in love. Thank you for your precious time. I hope I'd learn something from you...

Edited March 25, 2016 by Candygirl21

[justanickname]

Welcome to LS,

 

1. Indian guys:

I have had few Indian male friends, and I find most of them are friendly, even one or two are a bit too nice to me (guessing it is to "women" in general). I think what you describe is normal to them, not only your friend.

 

2. Good male friend:

I also have a good friend (not Indian though) from a foreign country that I can share almost everything, and I guess he also shares some private stories to me. We do not use video chat (my choice), but voice chat quite frequent, and we are just friends. I also thought I fell for him. I let him know that to request no contact till I could be sure of my feeling, also to see how he reacted. He immediately accepted and said I should not have been worried. We now are back to normal when I recognized it was a misunderstanding from my side. But of course in some cases, a man could react differently and the friendship could become award. I am lucky in this case I think.

 

Back to you, the key point is he already said "JUST chat mates". So I guess, like my friend, it is really "nothing" from his side. If you want, you can try my way to be clear of your feeling.

 

Wish you soon figure out things.

[lychee]

Hi.. I am a woman from Philippines. I just want an opinion, advice from a person who can relate with me.

 

I have an online male friend who is from india. We've been chatting for almost a year now. I am 3 years older than him. He was a college student and I am already graduate and working on a regular job.

 

He chats me almost everyday, we do regular video calls. He even says he misses me so much whenever either one of us are out of town. But he never said he liked me, although he always compliments me like saying I am beautiful, kind and good in stuffs. I find him sweet, funny and attractive too. He is good in english and is intelligent as I have noticed. I am so comfortable taking to him about what happened to me during the day. We exchange simple question to know more about each other and found out that we almost share the same hobbies and interests in life.

 

I am now also unconsciouslly sharing him personal information like about my family and friends and so on, yet he is private at times. He also asked me if I could find a job in India and that he wanted to see me but he has to have a job and earn first too. I am not from a wealthy family and do not earn much but I am more willing to travel and spent a lot just to see him. I am a private person and never chatted anyone before but him.

 

To my surprise, I noticed that I'm beginning to fall for him. I don't want to fall for someone I am not even sure of (we are countries away, we are from different culture and religion). I never dreamed and thought of falling for a foreign man ever but I am not against marrying interculture. I never have fallen for someone younger than me and never even thought I could. I have many suitors in our country but I never entertained them because I wanted to be with him. I wanted to know him more but he tends to be so private.

 

I am just so confused with his actions... If there are indian guys here, what do you think of his actions? Am I just assuming that he likes me too, even when he said we are JUST chatmates?

I am an advisor and counsellor at work but I can't advice for myself with regards falling in love. Thank you for your precious time. I hope I'd learn something from you...

 

If he says you're just friends...then believe him...and guard your heart. Online dating ..unless it becomes a reality ( meeting/moving/concrete planning) is 90% fantasy all real emotions but carved in a lot of deception. Be careful.

[Candygirl21]

Thank you guys. It helped a lot. Maybe I really should start lessen talking to him. I just realized now that maybe I was the only one who has feelings so I am the one who will suffer if he would start not talking to me... It feels sad, but I have to accept the fact that online dating is hard especially that I am not sure of him. I will try to start to ignore him for the mean time but I will not let him know I have feelings for him. I am afraid of what his reaction will be once he knew..

 

Again thank you!