Glad I'm now my own person, not "the other women"!

[Myownnottheother]

I won't babble on too much or at least I will try not to.

 

I use to be pretty judgmental of women falling for married men, never thought I would find myself in that situation and I hope this will help people understand that not all women are out to break up marriages.

 

Cutting a long story short, I met a guy who at first I wasn't interested in at all, he wasn't really my "type". He kept approaching me all the time and thought maybe he just needed someone to talk to because like me he came across to be a bit of a loner and I didn't mind that cuz I am too.

 

I had no idea he was married, it was never something I thought of to check if he was wearing a ring. He became a friend, someone I knew I could have a laugh with no matter how bad my day was going!

 

One day someone ask how someone was, I asked who it was and someone said his wife!

 

After that I kept my distance as we would have banter which wasn't execptable but he kept texting me and approaching me all the time. I started to think well it doesn't hurt to be mates I guess.

 

He then admitted he "needed me on his life" and wanted to be with me and made a world full of promises. I suddenly realised I felt the same, I didn't realise I had got so attached.

 

I don't really want to go into how much I felt for him because it is still raw 2 years on and has took a lot to get to even this point.

 

I decided to walk away from him, feeling a ocean full of empty promises and a world full of hurt. He jealousy was awful, I found I was pulling away from friends because I didn't want to give him a reason to be jealous but he always found something. That hurt because I was whole heartedly devoted.

 

It's hard now seeing life move own, passing someone who was once your future but wasn't yours all along.

 

I didn't believe he was that kind of guy, it hurts watching his family (he didn't have kids but had step children) seeing him once the way I saw him, kind, unable to hurt a fly but I saw that guy that eventually hurts you but I hope he doesn't hurt them as I would never want anyone feeling as hurt as I have.

 

I have had times where I thought I wasn't going to get through it. It's still hard, but it does get easier. I feel sorry for his wife, being bound to someone full of so much resentment and backstabbing.

 

To anyone like me thinking you can't get through, it's impossible....you can!

Edited March 27, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Paragraph spacing ~6

[Poppy47]

I'm afraid a lot of MM are MR RESPECTABLE PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY, BUTTER WOULDN'T MELT IN MY MOUTH, DEVOTED FATHERS, DOTING HUSBANDS......

 

WHEN , actually they are liars and cheats.

 

Sorry you found one.

 

POppy.

[sandylee1]

I'm afraid a lot of MM are MR RESPECTABLE PILLAR OF THE COMMUNITY, BUTTER WOULDN'T MELT IN MY MOUTH, DEVOTED FATHERS, DOTING HUSBANDS......

 

WHEN , actually they are liars and cheats.

 

Sorry you found one.

 

POppy.

 

Yes.... this description matches an awful lot of MM. They are heads of charitable organisations, doctors , lawyers, church ministers, police officers, teachers.... they stand tall at work and in society as men of honour and integrity, yet they live a double life .... with a mistress and at times secret children.

 

Your affair is over ... you can't change the past. Just look to the future and make the best life you can for yourself... you only get one life... so make it count.

[13Hearts]

Good for you for standing tall and keeping your head held high!

[2016forme]

So happy that you didn't fall into the affair fog. Most people say that when a woman ends an affair with a MM, it is far more drastic because of the comfort level and temporary addiction it provides.

 

Best of luck to you with your new found freedom! Cheers!

[Ophelia25]

So happy that you didn't fall into the affair fog. Most people say that when a woman ends an affair with a MM, it is far more drastic because of the comfort level and temporary addiction it provides.

 

Best of luck to you with your new found freedom! Cheers!

 

This is interesting. When a woman ends it, it is more drastic for...whom? Both of them? I ask because he keeps trying to end it. If I do, I'm pretty sure it will be permanent. And I'm wondering why? And if I should? And if that's a good thing? Problem is, I don't want to. I want to figure out how to want to. But...and this is completely subversive, if I end it, will he change gears and come desperately back? The sad thing is, I kind of want that. But I have known him so long, and he is so stubborn and proud. He would let me end it and never say another word if I kept my end up. Seems like the perfect solution. But I just don't want that. So instead, I just wait around for him to play with me.

 

How do I get to where I think ending it is the best thing to do? Or to rephrase, as it likely IS the best thing, how do I get to where I take the initial devastation because (they say) it's better in the long run?

[velvette]

This is interesting. When a woman ends it, it is more drastic for...whom? Both of them? I ask because he keeps trying to end it. If I do, I'm pretty sure it will be permanent. And I'm wondering why? And if I should? And if that's a good thing? Problem is, I don't want to. I want to figure out how to want to. But...and this is completely subversive, if I end it, will he change gears and come desperately back? The sad thing is, I kind of want that. But I have known him so long, and he is so stubborn and proud. He would let me end it and never say another word if I kept my end up. Seems like the perfect solution. But I just don't want that. So instead, I just wait around for him to play with me.

 

How do I get to where I think ending it is the best thing to do? Or to rephrase, as it likely IS the best thing, how do I get to where I take the initial devastation because (they say) it's better in the long run?

 

I think you have to get to the point where you want to live an authentic life. Only you can decide the kind of life you want to live.

 

 

In the sunlight or in darkness?

[Girlfromcali]

This is interesting. When a woman ends it, it is more drastic for...whom? Both of them? I ask because he keeps trying to end it. If I do, I'm pretty sure it will be permanent. And I'm wondering why? And if I should? And if that's a good thing? Problem is, I don't want to. I want to figure out how to want to. But...and this is completely subversive, if I end it, will he change gears and come desperately back? The sad thing is, I kind of want that. But I have known him so long, and he is so stubborn and proud. He would let me end it and never say another word if I kept my end up. Seems like the perfect solution. But I just don't want that. So instead, I just wait around for him to play with me.

 

How do I get to where I think ending it is the best thing to do? Or to rephrase, as it likely IS the best thing, how do I get to where I take the initial devastation because (they say) it's better in the long run?

 

I think you get there when you're ready. You get there when you've hurt enough, wasted enough time, and become too tired and broken to continue.

 

We who have been there are of course trying to prevent from anyone going through the hell and wasting precious years, but it takes what it takes. It's a process. You can't switch off love like a light switch. I wish you could just do that but your logic is always ahead of your heart.

[Marc878]

This is interesting. When a woman ends it, it is more drastic for...whom? Both of them? I ask because he keeps trying to end it. If I do, I'm pretty sure it will be permanent. And I'm wondering why? And if I should? And if that's a good thing? Problem is, I don't want to. I want to figure out how to want to. But...and this is completely subversive, if I end it, will he change gears and come desperately back? The sad thing is, I kind of want that. But I have known him so long, and he is so stubborn and proud. He would let me end it and never say another word if I kept my end up. Seems like the perfect solution. But I just don't want that. So instead, I just wait around for him to play with me.

 

How do I get to where I think ending it is the best thing to do? Or to rephrase, as it likely IS the best thing, how do I get to where I take the initial devastation because (they say) it's better in the long run?

 

Use your head and keep your heart out of it. Put the logic down on paper. Pretend it's a friend in this situation asking for advice. What would you tell them?

 

I've seen this stringing along. MM who think they are pillars pf the community, church (in fact they are low class scum). OW who have no chance in hell of ever getting the prize but keep chasing the carrot on a stick thinking I'm different and he's so in love wth me. NOT!!!

 

Sometimes wasting years of time/life. It's pretty tragic really.

 

The real test is. Where's he at? Still with his life and family? Then you know. Unfortunately a lot just don't want to believe the obvious because the truth hurts to much.

 

You'd be better off putting all that time/effort into making something real for your life or family instead of living in the fantasy fog with nothing at the end.