When you let your soulmate go...

[littlechoices]

I just have to vent this out. I don't know if anyone cares to read but I just want someone, who is not related to us, to know about what it's like to let your soulmate go because your current partners and circle of people need you more than you need each other. Because we can both sacrifice our feelings for the sake of others. Damnit.

 

And i thought that if you meet your soulmate, it's perfect. Nope, there's such a thing as a freaking wrong timing because you have partners who need you more. There's such as a thing as love is not enough. Why????????????????????

 

~ I know this type of stuff is not everyone's cup of tea but eh ~

 

Once upon a time, I met you. But it felt like we met before. Was it another lifetime? Was it only just a few moments ago?

 

And those few precious moments, mind you, they felt like a lifetime. Felt just right. And we talked about all that was hidden inside wells and doors and masks - all in silence and in movement. In words that were never said. In an understanding that only took a stare. In silence. That wonderful, wonderful silence.

 

And we used to pass by each other. Ignoring this pull. And in that moment we let ourselves get pulled, it just exploded. It simply just exploded.

 

And that explosion? It was silent but everything flowed in it. Like a dream.

 

Because we had to wake up.

 

What if it was a curse? Our curse that we will only watch each other from a distance? That small pieces of moments we had together is nothing compared to how much we spend the remaining lifetime we had looking and respecting boundaries. And rules. And society. And the people who look up and depend on us. And the mistakes that we've made and might make to others.

 

What if it was our curse to lock our hearts. To place on masks. What if it's not us but our soul's curse? Repeating lifetime after lifetime. Forever yearning. Forever hoping. Forever wanting. Forever watching.

 

Our souls never at peace.

 

Now we meet in this lifetime. And we watch and will live this cycle as we know our souls had for thousands of years.

 

Do you remember those few hours? The ones that felt like a lifetime? The one where we talked about how much we had in common and about how much we felt just right together? And about how we know that we can't spend it together. Because we feel that the universe won't let us. It just won't let us.

 

And yet, I'll watch you from a distance. Reading your laughter. Your pain. Watch you wear mask upon mask without ever getting the chance to rest.

 

And you will watch me too.

 

And we're still so young and years of watching to do.

 

And I think of the years ahead and only hope that we can get over this.

 

This watching game. And it's now in our lifetime.

 

Do we lack the courage to break it? Or it's just the universe telling us: no, no, no. And if we did let ourselves get pulled, would the universe let us?

 

And we've thought all those equations. Scenarios. Possibilities. I think of it. I know you do too. And it's strange because we know the answer: we can't be together because they need us more. Because we know that, despite this decision, we'll be all right.

 

I'll never see you again, right? Those moments. Memories. Dreams. I'll keep it. In my well. And it's locked and sealed tight.

 

And that promise. That your heart. My heart. We hold each other's key. Do we break it?

 

And the only thing that's keeping me from breaking and dying and suffocating is that tiny, tiny, tiny sliver of hope that maybe... just maybe...

 

The universe.

Our soul's curse.

 

Would let us go.

 

And maybe, just maybe, in the next lifetime.

 

Your soul and mine can find peace.

 

Together.

[lychee]

I just have to vent this out. I don't know if anyone cares to read but I just want someone, who is not related to us, to know about what it's like to let your soulmate go because your current partners and circle of people need you more than you need each other. Because we can both sacrifice our feelings for the sake of others. Damnit.

 

And i thought that if you meet your soulmate, it's perfect. Nope, there's such a thing as a freaking wrong timing because you have partners who need you more. There's such as a thing as love is not enough. Why????????????????????

 

~ I know this type of stuff is not everyone's cup of tea but eh ~

 

Once upon a time, I met you. But it felt like we met before. Was it another lifetime? Was it only just a few moments ago?

 

And those few precious moments, mind you, they felt like a lifetime. Felt just right. And we talked about all that was hidden inside wells and doors and masks - all in silence and in movement. In words that were never said. In an understanding that only took a stare. In silence. That wonderful, wonderful silence.

 

And we used to pass by each other. Ignoring this pull. And in that moment we let ourselves get pulled, it just exploded. It simply just exploded.

 

And that explosion? It was silent but everything flowed in it. Like a dream.

 

Because we had to wake up.

 

What if it was a curse? Our curse that we will only watch each other from a distance? That small pieces of moments we had together is nothing compared to how much we spend the remaining lifetime we had looking and respecting boundaries. And rules. And society. And the people who look up and depend on us. And the mistakes that we've made and might make to others.

 

What if it was our curse to lock our hearts. To place on masks. What if it's not us but our soul's curse? Repeating lifetime after lifetime. Forever yearning. Forever hoping. Forever wanting. Forever watching.

 

Our souls never at peace.

 

Now we meet in this lifetime. And we watch and will live this cycle as we know our souls had for thousands of years.

 

Do you remember those few hours? The ones that felt like a lifetime? The one where we talked about how much we had in common and about how much we felt just right together? And about how we know that we can't spend it together. Because we feel that the universe won't let us. It just won't let us.

 

And yet, I'll watch you from a distance. Reading your laughter. Your pain. Watch you wear mask upon mask without ever getting the chance to rest.

 

And you will watch me too.

 

And we're still so young and years of watching to do.

 

And I think of the years ahead and only hope that we can get over this.

 

This watching game. And it's now in our lifetime.

 

Do we lack the courage to break it? Or it's just the universe telling us: no, no, no. And if we did let ourselves get pulled, would the universe let us?

 

And we've thought all those equations. Scenarios. Possibilities. I think of it. I know you do too. And it's strange because we know the answer: we can't be together because they need us more. Because we know that, despite this decision, we'll be all right.

 

I'll never see you again, right? Those moments. Memories. Dreams. I'll keep it. In my well. And it's locked and sealed tight.

 

And that promise. That your heart. My heart. We hold each other's key. Do we break it?

 

And the only thing that's keeping me from breaking and dying and suffocating is that tiny, tiny, tiny sliver of hope that maybe... just maybe...

 

The universe.

Our soul's curse.

 

Would let us go.

 

And maybe, just maybe, in the next lifetime.

 

Your soul and mine can find peace.

 

Together.

 

Heartbreaking, my current situation but in reverse.

[13Hearts]

I just have to vent this out. I don't know if anyone cares to read but I just want someone, who is not related to us, to know about what it's like to let your soulmate go because your current partners and circle of people need you more than you need each other. Because we can both sacrifice our feelings for the sake of others. Damnit.

 

And i thought that if you meet your soulmate, it's perfect. Nope, there's such a thing as a freaking wrong timing because you have partners who need you more. There's such as a thing as love is not enough. Why????????????????????

 

~ I know this type of stuff is not everyone's cup of tea but eh ~

 

Once upon a time, I met you. But it felt like we met before. Was it another lifetime? Was it only just a few moments ago?

 

And those few precious moments, mind you, they felt like a lifetime. Felt just right. And we talked about all that was hidden inside wells and doors and masks - all in silence and in movement. In words that were never said. In an understanding that only took a stare. In silence. That wonderful, wonderful silence.

 

And we used to pass by each other. Ignoring this pull. And in that moment we let ourselves get pulled, it just exploded. It simply just exploded.

 

And that explosion? It was silent but everything flowed in it. Like a dream.

 

Because we had to wake up.

 

What if it was a curse? Our curse that we will only watch each other from a distance? That small pieces of moments we had together is nothing compared to how much we spend the remaining lifetime we had looking and respecting boundaries. And rules. And society. And the people who look up and depend on us. And the mistakes that we've made and might make to others.

 

What if it was our curse to lock our hearts. To place on masks. What if it's not us but our soul's curse? Repeating lifetime after lifetime. Forever yearning. Forever hoping. Forever wanting. Forever watching.

 

Our souls never at peace.

 

Now we meet in this lifetime. And we watch and will live this cycle as we know our souls had for thousands of years.

 

Do you remember those few hours? The ones that felt like a lifetime? The one where we talked about how much we had in common and about how much we felt just right together? And about how we know that we can't spend it together. Because we feel that the universe won't let us. It just won't let us.

 

And yet, I'll watch you from a distance. Reading your laughter. Your pain. Watch you wear mask upon mask without ever getting the chance to rest.

 

And you will watch me too.

 

And we're still so young and years of watching to do.

 

And I think of the years ahead and only hope that we can get over this.

 

This watching game. And it's now in our lifetime.

 

Do we lack the courage to break it? Or it's just the universe telling us: no, no, no. And if we did let ourselves get pulled, would the universe let us?

 

And we've thought all those equations. Scenarios. Possibilities. I think of it. I know you do too. And it's strange because we know the answer: we can't be together because they need us more. Because we know that, despite this decision, we'll be all right.

 

I'll never see you again, right? Those moments. Memories. Dreams. I'll keep it. In my well. And it's locked and sealed tight.

 

And that promise. That your heart. My heart. We hold each other's key. Do we break it?

 

And the only thing that's keeping me from breaking and dying and suffocating is that tiny, tiny, tiny sliver of hope that maybe... just maybe...

 

The universe.

Our soul's curse.

 

Would let us go.

 

And maybe, just maybe, in the next lifetime.

 

Your soul and mine can find peace.

 

Together.

 

Very romantic. Beautiful. Stuff movies are made of.

And all hogwash. The longer you believe this, the more difficult life will be.

I used to believe every word of what you wrote as the absolute truth. I thought my ex-fiance and I were literally a star in the sky in our former lives and that when we came hurtling through the sky toward earth, we broke into two pieces, forever one in spirit, separated for the rest of eternity. And HOW LUCKY we were to find eachother again!!!

 

It turned out to be THE BIGGEST, SCARIEST, MOST DANGEROUS NIGHTMARE OF MY LIFE.

 

You're on cloud 9 with this guy, believing all sorts of things that will set you up for nothing but trouble. I pray you get ahold of your senses again and come back to earth, no pun intended.

[minimariah]

hugs, OP!

 

this is beautifully written.

[Poppy47]

YOu will probably find more than one person in your life, whom you believe to be your soulmate.

 

This one is NOT. He is probably to a large extent the figment of your imagination and romantic notions.

 

Get over him and move right out of this fantasy world. It is a very dangerous place to be.

 

Poppy

[txgrl]

You , like me , are making a CHOICE to overromantisize the situation and the AP . Reality is different from what we imagine it to be in our minds .

The more I live with integrity , the more peace I feel .

[privategal]

We dont even know this persons story before we judge or say move on.

And while moving on from an A is always best, in a way, this seems like a much more peaceful mindset to leave with, even if it may be romanticized or inaccurate, its less cruel and less bitter and jaded than the harsh reality most of us who are moving on are forced to carry.

Imo, as long as you are going back to life, back to your families and cutting ties, then move on with whatever thoughts make this ending easiest for now. As long as your closing the door and going forward, everyone process's differently.

Op process's in this way, I think its just fine as our experience is our own, the way we see it is our own.

I hope you tell us your story OP, I hope whatever lessons and clarity you need will come.

Thank you for sharing.

Even if your post is 'fiction' as they say, it was beautiful and sad.

There will be support here if you need it.

[LivingWaterPlease]

Littlechoices, you write beautifully and I view your posting this as an important part of your journey in processing your feelings. Thank you for sharing it.

 

Would be wonderful if you'd write and post more as you are leaving this relationship behind and moving onto new pathways of your journey! This can be a great place to transition from a relationship into a wonderful and new phase of your life!

 

Hope to be part of your support group cheering you on into great days ahead!

[privategal]

This poster might not ever come back now sadly.

[txgrl]

As long as one considers their AP their 'soulmate that they have to let go' , the temptation / vulnerability to go back is v HIGH .

 

One really lets go only after thy accept the reality of the affair and their wrongdoing .

I'm an xWW so I can say this based on my own experience and the hundreds of posts I've read here or elsewhere .

No one is bashing the OP . Just support , to me , means helping someone understand the reality of their actions and choices , and making peace with them and moving on.

People while in the throes of an affair develop a very skewed view of love , romance and relationships, some also throw spirituality in .

 

Once you truly are ready to let go and turn over a new leaf , this is not the mindset that you will have .

All the best OP.

[brothers343]

OP.....this is beautifully written. Sadness, anger,dissapointment. There all related to each other. It's sad that some of us will feel them all at the same time. Hopefully you will keep on telling us your story in this forum. I would enjoyed reading them.

[Ophelia25]

Mixed feelings about these responses. People with this much sadness need both empathy and reality. And while I'm a bit of a skeptic about soul mates, I also feel very strongly many of the same feelings OP has. Who are we to tell her that this man wasn't "the one?" Who are we to determine that her romanticized views of their love are completely inaccurate? Maybe he was. Maybe he married the wrong woman at some point out of desperation or confusion or fear and maybe she really is the right one. I don't know if telling her those ideas are wrong (delusional, fantastical, unrealistic, etc.) will help her do anything but feel worse about herself for feeling that way.

 

What's real and true, I think, is that even if this AP is the soulmate/true love/meant to be/Prince Charming/etc., he is not with her. And therefore it kind of renders the soulmate part irrelevant. Yes, he may be all those things. But if he doesn't feel that way about her enough to do things about it, it's probably healthier to start to figure out how to think of him differently.

[dreamingoftigers]

Very romantic. Beautiful. Stuff movies are made of.

And all hogwash. The longer you believe this, the more difficult life will be.

I used to believe every word of what you wrote as the absolute truth. I thought my ex-fiance and I were literally a star in the sky in our former lives and that when we came hurtling through the sky toward earth, we broke into two pieces, forever one in spirit, separated for the rest of eternity. And HOW LUCKY we were to find eachother again!!!

 

It turned out to be THE BIGGEST, SCARIEST, MOST DANGEROUS NIGHTMARE OF MY LIFE.

 

You're on cloud 9 with this guy, believing all sorts of things that will set you up for nothing but trouble. I pray you get ahold of your senses again and come back to earth, no pun intended.

 

If I had married my ex-bf who I thought was my "soulmate" we would have had really weird-looking kids.

 

I guess I'm lucky The Universe provided me with getting dumped by him and finding a guy much more fun, great sense if humor, not so easily offended and I could have really cute kids with. oh I so thought my life was over when I got turfed. "Oh woe is me. This is it. Finito. It's all downhill from here." Pfffftt

 

The soulmate mentality only set you up for depression and disappointment. Because no one stays perfectly in sync with you forever, relationships and people both grow and change. So if you feel that out of sync stuff with your "soulmate" it's too easy to think "of maybe I got it wrong and they AREN'T my soul mate, I've been 'duped.'" Then instead of working stuff out and reconnecting, resent builds and you start looking for Soulmate Number Two.

 

Or if your "soulmate" starts abusing you, you tell yourself "oh I can't leave, he/she is " my soulmate.""

 

Or you think the relationships you have "post-soulmate" aren't as legitimate or great as "soulmatey relationships." So maybe you just pine for the old one or don't put the work into the new one, because that one is a "Silver Medal."

 

My daughter is such a character. I have a son on the way too. I never would have had my family experiences if I was still hung up on my "Soulmate."

 

The real "soulmates" are not some "fated destiny chemical high" they are the people you accept and choose that accept and choose you back.

 

So much romanticism revolves around being "thisclose" to being with the object of your affection. "Oh we would be perfect except for the timing, their culture, their spouse or the Universe as a whole." Look at the great romance movies. (And the crappy ones) they pretty much have some horrendous obstacle, or just a lame one to get around to be together. I mean, that Twilight one is just bad. No, I didn't see it. Because I couldn't infect my brain with the idea that Vampire-boy "loved her" but also had to suppress the cravings to drink her sweet blood. I mean, really, doesn't that kind of make her like a really great ham sandwich that he wants to have a relationship with? Ick. I can't imagine "falling in love with" on any equal level, prey that I would otherwise EAT. Yuck.

 

Nah. "Soulmates" chose. They said "I pick this instead. I wanna do this, it makes sense to me."

 

Lots and lots of adults LOVE to romanticize not being responsible for their choices. How many times have we heard on LS that " I lurve the OW/OM but I 'can't leave my spouse, it would devastate them.'

 

So who EXACTLY do they love and respect in that circumstance? They drag an outside party through their garbage in their own desperation, whole destroying their partner secretly, behind their back. Neither sounds like "love and soulmates" to me. But it does sound like a series of extremely impulsive and disrespectful choices.

[13Hearts]

If I had married my ex-bf who I thought was my "soulmate" we would have had really weird-looking kids.

LOL. Me, too!

[sandylee1]

My view is that if you can't be together because one or both of you are in a committed relationship .... then you aren't really soulmates.

[Ms. Faust]

I think I am too secular to believe in soulmates. But if there is such a thing, I do believe a lot goes into one's choices and common goals rather than star crossed Romeo/Juliet love affairs.

 

I just asked my husband if he believes in soulmates. He said no. I asked why not. He asked "why should I?" I asked what I am to him. He replied "You're my beloved." :love:

 

I love a man grounded in reality.

Edited March 28, 2016 by Ms. Faust

[dreamingoftigers]

I think I am too secular to believe in soulmates. But if there is such a thing, I do believe a lot goes into one's choices and common goals rather than star crossed Romeo/Juliet love affairs.

 

I just asked my husband if he believes in soulmates. He said no. I asked why not. He asked "why should I?" I asked what I am to him. He replied "You're my beloved." :love:

 

I love a man grounded in reality.

 

Yeah, a realistic man is so sexy!

[txgrl]

I've been through this stage , all heartbroken over not being able to be with my soulmate , reading romantic poetry , listening to sappy songs ...

 

OP, hop over to the infidelity section and read some of the devastation that this very soulmate mentality has brought to individuals and families .

I cannot begin to describe the pain and loss it has caused me .

 

Again , I'm not bashing you . I'm trying to open up your eyes to the reality of what you are doing .

Our whole society now rewards and romanticizes poor choices . i see your post and I want to shake you and say 'wake up before it's too late, if your husband finds out and decides he just cannot take this infidelity and divorces you , you will be shocked at how quickly your AP no longer seems like the perfect soulmate you imagined'.

[Ophelia25]

Our whole society now rewards and romanticizes poor choices ..

 

Do they? While I feel strong identification with both the "soulmate" idealism and the reality of the horrible situation caused by selfishness and bad judgement, it seems to me that, though society has relaxed in many moral issues over the decades, this one hasn't changed as much. Reading the infidelity page has certainly shown me that. I hate myself for what I have done to her and to their marriage - even if they still love each other and will stay together forever, I have caused her to lose her trust in him and to hurt. I am as guilty as the day is long for that. But my guilt and self-loathing doesn't really seem to change my surety that he and I should have chosen each other when we had the opportunity and we screwed it up because of a series of unfortunate circumstances and immature choices. Maybe my situation is a little different because she has been involved for such a long time - he chose her after I rejected him because of his indecisiveness, and she was aware of this, but she is still an innocent party to all this mayhem after his "permanent" choice. And it sucks for her, probably more than for me, but she is also choosing to try to be with him knowing at least in part who he really is, and she is holding on to him as tight as she can, knowing that he has been choosing me all this time.

 

There are no definitive answers to any of it, and everyone's situations are different, but I definitely think that the WS and the OW are vilified - and rightly so - and that their poor choices are recognized universally. Feeling like one has lost/is losing/giving up/whatever one's soul mate doesn't really change that, though it might help the OW deal a little better with the guilt she feels from being such a selfish ass (nothing personal, that's just what we are, I guess.) For me, feeling that he believes this soulmate bs even just a little kind of helps me get through the pain of us having screwed things up so terribly. We are going to set aside our selfish desires and try again to honor our marriage vows. We are going to put our families and his kids first, as we should. We will not be together or keep trying to, and we will probably end things completely because we can't really talk to each other without feeling either in love with each other or lusting for each other, depending on who you ask. None of that matters that much because we are still stupid adulterers. BUT...being able to think that he feels some of this romantic "we should be together" hogwash actually makes the reality of doing the right thing a little easier for me. Maybe it does for OP as well.

Edited March 28, 2016 by Ophelia25

[sunburned]

OP, I am sorry for your pain but it sounds like you are over-romanticizing a ONS. We all get hit with cupid's arrow at the wrong time. Developing a crush is normal. It's what you do about it (or don't do about it) that forms your character. Rest assured the universe will never send you your soul mate disguised as another woman's husband.

[sandylee1]

and she is holding on to him as tight as she can, knowing that he has been choosing me all this time.

 

 

Choosing YOU would mean divorce for him and the two of you together. What he has chosen is to have you as the OW ... as his secondary relationship. I'm sure you know that if a man doesn't want to be with a woman .... she cannot hold onto him no matter what.... even those who try and trap by getting pregnant ...... unless she is physically keeping him in restraints. He can make the choice that hundreds/ thousands of men do across the world every day to get divorced and yet he hasn't done that.

 

So maybe in a different place and time it would or could have been another story for you to ... The reality is very different.

 

You mention he choose her after you dumped him for being indecisive ... well that's pretty much how a lot of these things work. I've dumped boyfriends ... who didn't want it to end .. then they've gone on to meet and marry ..... I could sit here and say he choose her because he couldn't have me. That's what happens in life.

[Ophelia25]

Choosing YOU would mean divorce for him and the two of you together. What he has chosen is to have you as the OW ... as his secondary relationship. I'm sure you know that if a man doesn't want to be with a woman .... she cannot hold onto him no matter what.... even those who try and trap by getting pregnant ...... unless she is physically keeping him in restraints. He can make the choice that hundreds/ thousands of men do across the world every day to get divorced and yet he hasn't done that.

 

So maybe in a different place and time it would or could have been another story for you to ... The reality is very different.

 

You mention he choose her after you dumped him for being indecisive ... well that's pretty much how a lot of these things work. I've dumped boyfriends ... who didn't want it to end .. then they've gone on to meet and marry ..... I could sit here and say he choose her because he couldn't have me. That's what happens in life.

 

Thanks, you are right. I guess I meant "choosing me" in the sense that he continued to pursue a relationship with me over and over even after she knew and cried and begged and threatened and pleaded. Like, I was worth all that trouble for such a long time because...why?

 

But yes, in reality, he has chosen her, and I so need to admit that and start moving on. I just feel like maybe the "it's not supposed to be like this" ideals in OP might help cushion some of the early angst until reality sets in.

[littlechoices]

So, I didn't expect a lot of people to reply to this! Haha, I was just basically sharing my feelings and didn't expect a lot of people to jump on it.

 

A lot happened during the past few days and I'd really love to share it in case there was someone reading this who is currently experiencing the same/similar situation as I am.

 

[[ Just a heads up - this is just sharing. I'm not saying I'm perfect or have the best action plan in the world. This is just sharing. ]]

 

Background

Him - Has a kid, not married

Me - In an 8 year relationship

 

What made this ironic was we started out as helping each other in our relationships and we ended up with this, haha.

 

Soulmate

First off, I'm sorry if I romanticized things. I normally don't. But the feeling, the decision to prioritize our current partners over our feelings was so painful that this became my way to vent out. It was my fault for not explaining things before I wrote this but, to be honest, I didn't expect people to be interested, haha.

 

By the way, I love everyone's replies. It helps me come to a conclusion that we both made the right decision for our partners.

 

Why we clicked

I'm writing this section in case there's someone out there who experienced this too.

 

One day, you'll meet someone who you just click. As in talk for hours and hours about just about anything and everything and it felt like no time has passed at all. Sometimes, you might meet someone who can read you without saying anything. And you can do the same for him. Sometimes, you might meet someone who you know how to save and he would know how to save you too.

 

And you question - why do I click with this guy 10000 times more than my current partner? Why can we understand each other more? Why can we ---? and the list will go on and on.

 

But sometimes, it's just not meant to be. I liked what Sandylee1 said:

 

My view is that if you can't be together because one or both of you are in a committed relationship .... then you aren't really soulmates.

 

Our Partners

He and I are very lucky with our partners. If I were to describe it, it would be yin yang. Our partners are the Yang (light) and we are the Yin (dark). They help us see how wonderful and beautiful the world is. They are the most loving and caring people in the whole wide world.

 

And for that reason, there are things that they can't see. A part of us that they can't fill. And we had no idea that, during our hours of conversation, that we were slowly filling that area that our partners can't.

 

But here's the thing: Our partners need us more than he and I need each other. I guess that's the reason why we can't leave. Because we naturally gravitate to helping people. And since our partners need us more, we stay.

 

Telling the truth

And just for people to know how awesome our current partners are, I told my boyfriend about what happened. And he still accepted me for who I am. And we went on to working what we can do to improve our relationship to prevent things like this from happening in the future.

 

We're still not sure if we should tell his girlfriend coz we're 1000% feeling that she's going to break so I'll leave this for him to decide.

 

Moral Lesson (for now)

It's very, very hard to let go of someone that you are in sync with. Very. But sometimes you have to step back and think about the consequences of your actions. Think about which one you won't regret (or least regret) in the future. Make mistakes and learn from it. If you do make a decision (stay or go), make sure that you take responsibility for your action.

 

Right now, it's impossible to know if my current partner or him is the one I'll spend the rest of my life with. And you can make all your conclusions but really, it's up for the future to decide.

 

So.... if you're in the same situation as I am, don't follow what people tell you what to do. Just listen to them. Detach from the situation. Follow your head and heart. Think of the consequences. Can you live with the repercussions of your actions?

 

I've made my decision. It's to stay. He's made his decision. It's to stay.

 

And we'll live with the repercussions of our actions.

 

You know, I might save this post and update this years later and see what happened, lol.

[Ms. Faust]

 

We're still not sure if we should tell his girlfriend coz we're 1000% feeling that she's going to break so I'll leave this for him to decide.

 

That sounds like his girlfriend is being robbed/not given the opportunity of making a very important life changing decision. I don't know if that how you meant for it to come across, but that is how it reads.

[littlechoices]

That sounds like his girlfriend is being robbed/not given the opportunity of making a very important life changing decision. I don't know if that how you meant for it to come across, but that is how it reads.

 

That's basically what my partner and I feel. Been telling him to though.

 

And before the bashers come, just wanted to let you guys know that most people don't tell their partners about what they've done. Or how they feel. Or what happened.

 

But he and I are trying to do what's right. It's going to be hard at first (since we're young and all) but I guess that's part of growing up.