surferchic Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Hello all. I often wonder, has anyone ever experienced as ex who visited LS and find figured out your thread,? If so what happened? I think we all withhold some details for that reason. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Dork_Lard Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Yes, 9 years ago, I briefly had an account on here. I think she used my laptop while I was asleep and got my password by going into the options on my browser, so not only did she know my then username and what I was saying about my experience, but she could also read my PMs. It was absolutely horrendous because she watched me for quite a while, then rang me up and was reading my posts and PMs to me. I was mortified, embarrassed, defeated... you name it. At the time I was exercising no contact too, and part of this was to take some power back and not let her know how broken I was. But she knew ALL of it, which made me feel worse. It took me 9 months to get over her, and it was only a 3 month fling - albeit the most intense I've ever had. I was on another breakup support forum too, and one morning, before I signed in, I could see my username already logged in and browsing the site. So she was obviously reading my PMs there too. Scary, because I'd paid for premium on that site, which was off limits to the non-premium general public. I've always been extremely careful about who uses my laptop since, but that didn't stop a woman from Match.com hacking my computer 7 years ago and getting into my emails. She did a tarot reading on me in person and scared me so much I stopped seeing her, lol. It wasn't until I did some investigatory work that I figured out she'd hacked me. Link to post Share on other sites
TheBathWater Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Hello all. I often wonder, has anyone ever experienced as ex who visited LS and find figured out your thread,? If so what happened? I think we all withhold some details for that reason. My most recent ex gave me a yeast infection and I thought it might be herpes at first. I posted about it here and when she used my laptop she saw on my most recently opened windows tab that it was there. She brought it up with me. I'm not sure if she ever visited the page or knew I posted it, though if she did visit the page I have no doubt she put the pieces together. Most of my exes would not care or be bothered enough to be on a site like this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted March 27, 2016 Author Share Posted March 27, 2016 Yes, 9 years ago, I briefly had an account on here. I think she used my laptop while I was asleep and got my password by going into the options on my browser, so not only did she know my then username and what I was saying about my experience, but she could also read my PMs. It was absolutely horrendous because she watched me for quite a while, then rang me up and was reading my posts and PMs to me. I was mortified, embarrassed, defeated... you name it. At the time I was exercising no contact too, and part of this was to take some power back and not let her know how broken I was. But she knew ALL of it, which made me feel worse. It took me 9 months to get over her, and it was only a 3 month fling - albeit the most intense I've ever had. I was on another breakup support forum too, and one morning, before I signed in, I could see my username already logged in and browsing the site. So she was obviously reading my PMs there too. Scary, because I'd paid for premium on that site, which was off limits to the non-premium general public. I've always been extremely careful about who uses my laptop since, but that didn't stop a woman from Match.com hacking my computer 7 years ago and getting into my emails. She did a tarot reading on me in person and scared me so much I stopped seeing her, lol. It wasn't until I did some investigatory work that I figured out she'd hacked me. Wow.... That's some book/movie material you just described. I'll bet lots of us could write books from some of the stuff we've gone through. Only thing it'd be a tell all so to speak and some details ( as well as names of course) would definitely need to be changed to protect the "crazy"... Link to post Share on other sites
Lostweekend Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Yes, 9 years ago, I briefly had an account on here. I think she used my laptop while I was asleep and got my password by going into the options on my browser, so not only did she know my then username and what I was saying about my experience, but she could also read my PMs. It was absolutely horrendous because she watched me for quite a while, then rang me up and was reading my posts and PMs to me. I was mortified, embarrassed, defeated... you name it. At the time I was exercising no contact too, and part of this was to take some power back and not let her know how broken I was. But she knew ALL of it, which made me feel worse. It took me 9 months to get over her, and it was only a 3 month fling - albeit the most intense I've ever had. I was on another breakup support forum too, and one morning, before I signed in, I could see my username already logged in and browsing the site. So she was obviously reading my PMs there too. Scary, because I'd paid for premium on that site, which was off limits to the non-premium general public. I've always been extremely careful about who uses my laptop since, but that didn't stop a woman from Match.com hacking my computer 7 years ago and getting into my emails. She did a tarot reading on me in person and scared me so much I stopped seeing her, lol. It wasn't until I did some investigatory work that I figured out she'd hacked me. Well, in hindsight, she´s the one who should be mortified and embarrassed. What she did is so wrong on so many levels. Link to post Share on other sites
The_Dork_Lard Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Well, in hindsight, she´s the one who should be mortified and embarrassed. What she did is so wrong on so many levels. Ha ha. She was one of those who could be described as 'borderline'. She could put me on the highest pedestal, and keep me there for some time, and then suddenly I'd be the most evil person in the world, an awful, terrible, pathetic excuse of a man, etc etc, and this had a dramatic and powerful effect on me at the time. She was crazy! She'd never see what she did as wrong. But I began dating her while she was 4 months out of a 15 year relationship, and she was crying over it on our first date lol. So the red flags were there, but I chose to ignore them. I didn't know any better because meeting women was still quite a novelty to me back then, and I naively trusted people, thinking they all lived by noble values :facepalm: I remember several times I posted about how I was missing her, and within 30 seconds of posting she'd sign into Yahoo messenger (remember that?) and just sit there, saying nothing. So I'd ignore her, and she'd sign out after 5 minutes. She was obviously watching me post on the forums, although I didn't know it at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted March 27, 2016 Author Share Posted March 27, 2016 My most recent ex gave me a yeast infection and I thought it might be herpes at first. I posted about it here and when she used my laptop she saw on my most recently opened windows tab that it was there. She brought it up with me. I'm not sure if she ever visited the page or knew I posted it, though if she did visit the page I have no doubt she put the pieces together. Most of my exes would not care or be bothered enough to be on a site like this. Yikes! Are you in communication with her now? Did she think you were online dating or she just wanted to know what you were saying about her? (Or any other woman from her perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
thespacey1 Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 (edited) My ex would go through my phone while we were together (before I woke up in the mornings). He'd always head to work before me, but he'd walk over to my side of the bed to kisses me goodbye each and every day. I wouldn't know he was they until he kissed me. One night he sat in front of me with his elbows on his knees like he was watching a game... (In his mind, it was like a game). He quoted part of a text from my phone, that I had texted someone else about him the day or two before. He just looked at me to get a response. I was like "what are you talking about?.. What made u say that?" . he goes, "Na... It's nothing. Don't worry about it". It was the weirdest feeling. I felt invaded, manipulated and like I was almost... ALMOST going crazy. I'm sure he'd grabbed my phone one morning. I was also on love shack during that time. I had posted maybe once about since issues we were having. Other posts were about other exes... I can only imagine how much of my side be read or tried to decipher.... Plus, my loveshack login info was saved on my browser so all he'd have to do was just press log in... Smh. He would wake me up asking me dumb stuff trying to figure out which one of my exes, was which. I guess he thought by asking me this crazy sh*t while I was half asleep he'd get the truth. Well he'd get the truth either way, I had nothing to hide. In his eyes though, everybody (all women) had something to hide. I think his hyper-vigelance made his temper so unstable. He started holding things in rather than talking about them... Probably after seeing the expression on my face(like when you can't figure out where a bad smell is coming from amongst a group of people) when he'd ask me crazy @$$ stuff, he got offended. I have a d@mn good poker face, but when he got on my last nerve he knew it and it made him feel so bad that his recourse was to stomp off like a kid or go on tirades about how I should be looking or talking to those" other "men like that, not him... Who the hell were the" other "men??????,I thought.... It was crazy.lol. he was most likely talking about, exes who texted me, flirting to try and reconnect, some sending pix of themselves.I either ignored them or told then I was in a relationship. Or he could've been talking about a co-worker or two who's tried making advances. My ex wanted me to cuss men out and get real may with them... I refused to get nasty unless someone totally disrespected me. If I told him things he'd get mad, if I didn't tell him things he'd think I was trying to be secretive. No win... My point being, he may have looked at my phone to see that stuff(loveshack and all) and never said anything about it because that'd be admitting he'd been going through my phone. He was way too prideful to admit anything like that. I never once.... Not once went through his phone. Edited March 27, 2016 by thespacey1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExtraSpice Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 Years ago I was going through a tough breakup and I had posted on a site similar to LS. I was naive and gave a good amount of detail when describing my situation. Little did I know that she used that site as well and figured out it was me from reading my posts and my location/age and such. Wasn't exactly a negative experience but it happened. So learnt my lesson after that. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 The Mods here emphasise the importance of posting privately and not making your identity so obvious. The community Guidelines are also very emphatic about posting personal information, such as emails and real names, for obvious reasons. AFAIK, the only forum on here totally closed to prying eyes and internet searches is the 'sexual and reproductive health & practices' one... Every other forum, and thread therein, is fair game.... So, the more careless people are, both on here and with their equipment, the more open they leave themselves to discovery and abuse, as poor The_Dork_Lard discovered to his cost. If I see transgressions (intentional or otherwise) I tend to report them. Not because I'm a tell-tale, but because someone has left themselves open to trouble. And why invite that to the board? It might put other members 'at risk' too.... Link to post Share on other sites
TheBathWater Posted March 27, 2016 Share Posted March 27, 2016 (edited) Yikes! Are you in communication with her now? Did she think you were online dating or she just wanted to know what you were saying about her? (Or any other woman from her perspective. I am definitely not in communication with her. The week of valentine's day, she told me she loved me and then once I said it back she never said it to me again (not during sex, on Vday, etc...). She then lied to me about not seeing other guys until I discovered she'd given her number out and was flirting and planning a coffee date. I dumped her on the spot. Because she works around the corner from my house, I have to deal with knowing she has probably bad-mouthed me to her colleagues and the locals because that's what she does. She can't own her role in conflict with anyone. She only discovered my post here because it was on my most recent windows tab, but she only saw the title. She never clicked on it. It made her nervous though because she said she was wondering the same thing, if it was herpes or a yeast infection. I don't think she ever saw the thread unless she looked it up later without me around. She didn't even know it was written by me. She knew I was not online dating. We were exclusive, or supposed to be. I never met up with or talked to any other women when with her. I put my best foot forward with her. She cheated on her last ex before me and always reassured me, "don't worry I won't hurt you." It didn't even take two months. Edited March 27, 2016 by TunaInTheBrine Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 Good for you for not being in contact with her. Link to post Share on other sites
SixxChick Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Most of my exes would not care or be bothered enough to be on a site like this. Yep. Pretty much. That's why I'm just going to go for it. Whatever I feel. This is my time and space. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Yep. Pretty much. That's why I'm just going to go for it. Whatever I feel. This is my time and space. Would you feel that way if they found you and began posting.... or worse, harassing you? Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I had one reading my stuff here I think. I sort of knew because I'd get a reaction after certain posts without direct reference. Didn't bother me the slightest, I'd never post anything here I wouldn't say to his face. I don't get why anyone would be stopped from posting because of this. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 Ha ha, well, if you read The_Dork_Lard's posts, not everyone's ex is as passive as yours was.... ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 I don't think the idea of my ex checking this site would stop me from posting.... Not at all. However, it makes me aware of some details about my own emotions, definitely. Being anonymous allows me to expose a few embarrassing emotions that I may have. Like the fact that it's taking me this long to completely forget about my ex although I broke up with him for his crazy ways. He knows I missed him at one point,i.e. about 5-6 months ago. At this point though we've both started seeing other people, so I'd assume we've both moved on emotionally. But I'm still feeling about 20% stuck via the memories... Perhaps he's still having memories as well and just forcing himself to do whatever it takes to try and forget me. When we first broke up he said he was messed up by the thought of us breaking up... Certain songs, certain things is bought him or done with him, etc... all made him hurt... In all honesty, I sometimes assume that men DO NOT have feelings because they act like they're not bothered. That's a flaw i have and working through... Because it's what I see visually, although I also see the behavior that says otherwise. Other than that, I've shared with him that I think he needs help for his anger, temper and lack of trust, but he doesn't know that I realize he checked my phone... *forgive the typos in my initial thread post. I'm just noticing them. I was half asleep but wanted to pose that question to LS. Should've read: "...Hello all. I often wonder, has anyone ever experienced AN ex who visited LS and figured out your thread,?..." Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted March 28, 2016 Share Posted March 28, 2016 I'm never ashamed of my emotions. Men are socialised differently, not my problem 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author surferchic Posted March 28, 2016 Author Share Posted March 28, 2016 I'm never ashamed of my emotions. Men are socialised differently, not my problem This is where I need growth. I admire that. Not sure why I'm like this but I am ashamed of being stuck. Yes, men are socialized differently but I think they feel they have the "upper hand" if someone is still thinking about them... Even though he may be still thinking about me. I just feel like it negates everything I stand for when I'm supposed to be this STRONG minded woman... Link to post Share on other sites
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