Best [tips] for approaching a stranger?

[Mjm1014]

Okay this is embarrassing but I'm 28 years old, and have been single for quite some time. I went to an all guys aviation college, I've done a lot of moving recently, so I have no friends in the town I just moved to..I've had my fair share of girlfriends over the years that I met on dating sites or through friends (when I had friends lol), but I can't think of one that I met out and about.

 

My question is, what's a good way to approach someone you're attracted to OUTSIDE of the bar (give me some alcohol, and I have no problem approaching and making a fool out of myself, but I don't go to bars much-alone is no fun). Say I'm at the mall, or at a grocery store and see a girl I'm really attracted to and want to talk to, what do you say? Is that weird to approach cold like that?

 

It's not that I'm nervous, I'm not, but I feel like I come off awkward when I do...I usually say "hey what's up" and they look at me like I'm some idiot or look at me as if they are confused why I'm talking to them. I'm not about corny lines either or saying something random to just strike up a convo-obviously they know I'm trying to hit on them so I'd rather just cut to the chase. Suggestions.

 

Sorry drinking a bit hope this made some sense

 

Oh and ps. I don't think that they don't engage with me because I'm ugly, I'd say I'm average and have had some attractive girlfriends in the past. My tinder has been blowing up-but im tired of being on my phone and just over dating apps/sites. I think I just come off very awkward initially

[louxor]

Okay this is embarrassing but I'm 28 years old, and have been single for quite some time. I went to an all guys aviation college, I've done a lot of moving recently, so I have no friends in the town I just moved to..I've had my fair share of girlfriends over the years that I met on dating sites or through friends (when I had friends lol), but I can't think of one that I met out and about.

 

My question is, what's a good way to approach someone you're attracted to OUTSIDE of the bar (give me some alcohol, and I have no problem approaching and making a fool out of myself, but I don't go to bars much-alone is no fun). Say I'm at the mall, or at a grocery store and see a girl I'm really attracted to and want to talk to, what do you say? Is that weird to approach cold like that?

 

It's not that I'm nervous, I'm not, but I feel like I come off awkward when I do...I usually say "hey what's up" and they look at me like I'm some idiot or look at me as if they are confused why I'm talking to them. I'm not about corny lines either or saying something random to just strike up a convo-obviously they know I'm trying to hit on them so I'd rather just cut to the chase. Suggestions.

 

Sorry drinking a bit hope this made some sense

 

Oh and ps. I don't think that they don't engage with me because I'm ugly, I'd say I'm average and have had some attractive girlfriends in the past. My tinder has been blowing up-but im tired of being on my phone and just over dating apps/sites. I think I just come off very awkward initially

 

It depends where you are/what you are doing. For example, if you're in a store you could ask them anything from "Hey I'm making pasta tonight, can you suggest any good sauces I should buy?" to "Hey I'm trying to pick out a present for my mum's birthday, would you mind giving me a second opinion?"

Things like that come off as friendly and people love giving their opinions on things so it's a good way to start a conversation without being worried about coming off as creepy, and from there it can lead to opening up the conversation more, and eventually you asking for her number if she seems cool etc etc.

 

Basically just anything where you ask their opinions or for suggestions on whatever that can just break the ice and allow you to approach them less "creepily"

[Jabron1]

It depends where you are/what you are doing. For example, if you're in a store you could ask them anything from "Hey I'm making pasta tonight, can you suggest any good sauces I should buy?" to "Hey I'm trying to pick out a present for my mum's birthday, would you mind giving me a second opinion?"

Things like that come off as friendly and people love giving their opinions on things so it's a good way to start a conversation without being worried about coming off as creepy, and from there it can lead to opening up the conversation more, and eventually you asking for her number if she seems cool etc etc.

 

Basically just anything where you ask their opinions or for suggestions on whatever that can just break the ice and allow you to approach them less "creepily"

 

I personally find 'opinion openers' to be a bit awkward, and don't use them.

 

You have to take things from 'can I have your opinion on something?' to 'can I have your number?'. And that transition can be awkward. Whenever I used these openers, it always seemed that the girl knew what I was up to, and what I really wanted anyway. Might as well be direct about it. This is just my preference, and I know that some guys swear by the opinion opener.

 

The thing to remember about approaching women during the day, is that they aren't in a natural mood to socialise in the same way that they would be on a night out. You are stopping them from what they are doing. It's best to do that with a compliment.

 

Give her a small compliment about her clothes or demeanor. Most women's favorite topic of conversation is themselves . So, just focus the conversation on her. It'll only be weird if you act like it's weird. If you act like it's the most normal thing in the world, she'll follow your lead.

 

Consider every approach as a victory, especially if you've never done this before. It's a skill that takes time to get good at.

[WaitingForBardot]

Not a fan of opinion opener's either, with the possible exception of: "Pardon me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

 

But seriously,

 

...

...I usually say "hey what's up" and they look at me like I'm some idiot or look at me as if they are confused why I'm talking to them.

...

My usual approach or something similar. I would get this same reaction a lot too, but there were enough cases where I didn't to keep me busy.

[LookAtThisPOst]

I personally find 'opinion openers' to be a bit awkward, and don't use them.

 

You have to take things from 'can I have your opinion on something?' to 'can I have your number?'. And that transition can be awkward. Whenever I used these openers, it always seemed that the girl knew what I was up to, and what I really wanted anyway. Might as well be direct about it. This is just my preference, and I know that some guys swear by the opinion opener.

 

The thing to remember about approaching women during the day, is that they aren't in a natural mood to socialise in the same way that they would be on a night out. You are stopping them from what they are doing. It's best to do that with a compliment.

 

Give her a small compliment about her clothes or demeanor. Most women's favorite topic of conversation is themselves . So, just focus the conversation on her. It'll only be weird if you act like it's weird. If you act like it's the most normal thing in the world, she'll follow your lead.

 

Consider every approach as a victory, especially if you've never done this before. It's a skill that takes time to get good at.

 

Opinion openers is pretty much the only way to start off, but usually I use it in a situation where we wind up stuck together in line at the deli or waiting to be served by a barista.

 

I had a situation like this, it wasnt planned, but me and another woman placed order for coffee. I saw that she ordered a certain flavor...then we were both were just standing there...waiting.

 

I decided to break the awkward silence by asking her about the brew she ordered as I had never had that flavor. She wasn't too receptive, looked at me and answered in a short fashion and looked back in front of her. It was like, "Why is this guy talking to me?" vibe was plastered all over her.

 

To confirm it, since it was the Christmas holidays, I asked her if she's done with her Christmas shopping.

 

"No" and that was that.

 

 

Kind of thought she was rather stuck up by not even being friendly, especially during the holidays...but I didn't want to have to pull a conversation out of her.

 

Of course, I live in an area if people don't know you, they aren't open to making new friends outside their little fishbowl community.

[Dente]

Okay this is embarrassing but I'm 28 years old, and have been single for quite some time. I went to an all guys aviation college, I've done a lot of moving recently, so I have no friends in the town I just moved to..I've had my fair share of girlfriends over the years that I met on dating sites or through friends (when I had friends lol), but I can't think of one that I met out and about.

 

My question is, what's a good way to approach someone you're attracted to OUTSIDE of the bar (give me some alcohol, and I have no problem approaching and making a fool out of myself, but I don't go to bars much-alone is no fun). Say I'm at the mall, or at a grocery store and see a girl I'm really attracted to and want to talk to, what do you say? Is that weird to approach cold like that?

 

It's not that I'm nervous, I'm not, but I feel like I come off awkward when I do...I usually say "hey what's up" and they look at me like I'm some idiot or look at me as if they are confused why I'm talking to them. I'm not about corny lines either or saying something random to just strike up a convo-obviously they know I'm trying to hit on them so I'd rather just cut to the chase. Suggestions.

 

Sorry drinking a bit hope this made some sense

 

Oh and ps. I don't think that they don't engage with me because I'm ugly, I'd say I'm average and have had some attractive girlfriends in the past. My tinder has been blowing up-but im tired of being on my phone and just over dating apps/sites. I think I just come off very awkward initially

 

If your not shy you have to just strike a conversation and create rapport then just get there number if you get rejected then you'll get less and less fear to approach a women you like.

 

You should google Corey Wayne he has some good insight in what triggers attraction in a women and what makes them do what they do.

 

also keep going to the malls and just slight strike conversation with random girls even if it feels awkward at times. It will help you develop social skills. Also If you want to meet random people and women go on meetup.com and see your local events maybe you can meet up people and create friendship.

 

Just don't let fear grip you and focus on what you want.

 

 

Just keep circulating eventually you'll meet someone.

[itstoni]

My go to opener is "I bet you have a nice smile" then smile genuine. If she laughs or smiles, take it from there. If she doesn't then move on.

[Jabron1]

Openers are just a foot in the door. Whatever stops the girl, focuses her attention on you, and gets her chatting is good enough. However, a guy must be prepared to ramble for 60 seconds if necessary. So, whatever our openers are, we must be prepared to stack on top of it. The whole beginning of an approach is about setting the tone, and trying to hook the girl.

 

You have to work with whatever she gives you. It becomes a game that I like to think of as 'waiting for the noun'. So, if she says 'I'm just on my lunch-break', then lunch-break is the noun. That is what you will throw back at her.

 

From there the trick is to keep things flirty. So, instead of saying the standard boring response like 'really? What do you do for work?', you say something a bit more challenging such as 'yeah right! I've caught you bunking off from work, and window shopping for shoes'.

[jen1447]

You can avoid the weird looks by doing one simple thing - evaluate by eye contact if she's even open to contact at all. It's usually obvious, if you look at each other and she's at all interested, even just vaguely, you'll see the signals in her eyes and expression. Then you can do whatever w/out fear of the wtf reaction. But if all you get back is a blank stare or a nothing glance, that's as good as gold that she doesn't want you to start in on anything and you should leave her alone.

 

Failed 'approaches' (hate that word) are usually just a matter of not sizing up your targets well.

[LookAtThisPOst]

You can avoid the weird looks by doing one simple thing - evaluate by eye contact if she's even open to contact at all. It's usually obvious, if you look at each other and she's at all interested, even just vaguely, you'll see the signals in her eyes and expression. Then you can do whatever w/out fear of the wtf reaction. But if all you get back is a blank stare or a nothing glance, that's as good as gold that she doesn't want you to start in on anything and you should leave her alone.

 

Failed 'approaches' (hate that word) are usually just a matter of not sizing up your targets well.

 

Right, you could watch all the "Corey Wayne" videos you want, but if she isn't giving signs of wanting to talk from the get-go, those "how to trigger attraction" videos won't help.

[brothers343]

Woman love compliments......Hi my name is joseph and I noticed you from where I was, I must say your very beautiful and I was wondering if you had a boyfriend. Then take it from there. It's not as hard as you think buddy. Good luck. Some woman turn to wild kittens when a good compliment is delivered in truth.

[Jabron1]

For me, refusing to act on anything other than a strong IOI (indicator of interest) is just a clever way of trying to get out of the grind.

 

'She isn't looking at me, so I won't approach.'

'She's looking at her phone. Better not bother her.'

Etc, etc.

 

A girl I'm currently seeing was looking at the floor, walking past in her own world when I approached her. Likewise, there have been a couple of occasions recently when a girl gave me all the right body language, a good exchange, and then didn't respond when I started texting her.

 

Not every woman that might like you is going to stare you in the eyes and lick her lips.

 

Body language is very useful. But, ultimately, It's a numbers game.

 

This is one occasion where a guy should follow his balls and not his brain. If there's something you like about her, then f*ck it, try your luck.

[Shanex]

I agree with Jabron. 'Cold' approach are pretty hard to get used to and be successful at. There has to be a context of some sort so you have something to talk about. Don't be too much of a goof, a short joke can work, the key here is to get the lady interested, I dislike the word hooked but it's your goal here.

 

If you're bold enough to exchange numbers as Jabrons pointed out odds are she won't for sure reply. If she does, consider yourself an IRL dating success story. It's not for everyone especially it that work out the way you wanted.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Shanex

[SammySammy]

Do you think you could approach an old man and start a conversation with him? An old lady? What about a 9 year old kid? A teenager? Think you could make the conversation interesting and leave them with a smile on their faces?

 

I think you could. It may seem cliche, but you approach an attractive woman the same way. You probably wouldn't start a conversation with an old man with "hey, what's up". Standing there awkwardly like you want something from him. He would probably think you're weird too.

 

A natural opener is probably best. But, more important than what you say and how you say it, is body language. Just as you have no anticipation or desire to pick up the old man, you need to be the same way with a woman you just met. No desire other than to have a great conversation and leave her with a smile. Unless she shows you she clearly wants more, then you escalate. Take it to the next level.

 

Practice opening anyone with no intention, no neediness and no desire other than to exchange pleasantries. After a while, it will get easier and easier.

[itstoni]

Do you think you could approach an old man and start a conversation with him? An old lady? What about a 9 year old kid? A teenager? Think you could make the conversation interesting and leave them with a smile on their faces?

 

I think you could. It may seem cliche, but you approach an attractive woman the same way. You probably wouldn't start a conversation with an old man with "hey, what's up". Standing there awkwardly like you want something from him. He would probably think you're weird too.

 

A natural opener is probably best. But, more important than what you say and how you say it, is body language. Just as you have no anticipation or desire to pick up the old man, you need to be the same way with a woman you just met. No desire other than to have a great conversation and leave her with a smile. Unless she shows you she clearly wants more, then you escalate. Take it to the next level.

Practice opening anyone with no intention, no neediness and no desire other than to exchange pleasantries. After a while, it will get easier and easier.

 

Best advice you'll get on your thread. DO this

[Mjm1014]

First off thanks the responses guys!

 

My two big downfalls when it comes to IRL pickup are:

1.finding a good way to break the ice. For some reason I've always been bad at that when it comes to people in general, but once the conversation gets going, I'm fine.

 

2. Finding strong IOI's. I've dated some very attractive females in the past, and get lots of Tinder matches but when I'm out in public, women don't show any sign of interest, not even the less attractive ones if you know what I mean. They seem to avoid eye contact or completely ignore or just don't seemed phased and just walk right by. I'm not saying girls should be staring at me, but I can't even find any IOI's ever..can't remember the last time a girl showed me any. If I knew she was at least a little interested, I wouldn't hesitate to approach, and I'm sure I'd come off less awkward, but seeing that I don't get any IOIs I'm forced to go into things completely cold.

 

Not sure what else to do. I really don't want to do the whole online dating thing again, and I don't really find the bar scene appealing especially since I have to go alone (just moved no friends here). Oh well, thanks guy/gals....

[jen1447]

2. Finding strong IOI's. I've dated some very attractive females in the past, and get lots of Tinder matches but when I'm out in public, women don't show any sign of interest, not even the less attractive ones if you know what I mean. They seem to avoid eye contact or completely ignore or just don't seemed phased and just walk right by. I'm not saying girls should be staring at me, but I can't even find any IOI's ever..can't remember the last time a girl showed me any. If I knew she was at least a little interested, I wouldn't hesitate to approach, and I'm sure I'd come off less awkward, but seeing that I don't get any IOIs I'm forced to go into things completely cold.

 

Not sure what else to do. I really don't want to do the whole online dating thing again, and I don't really find the bar scene appealing especially since I have to go alone (just moved no friends here). Oh well, thanks guy/gals....

 

And so you walk around like a whipped dog based on the inevitable negative experiences. (And probably project that image front and center.)

 

If you're having trouble getting any workable feedback, look at the simple stuff - do you dress reasonably well? Even your grubby clothes should fit you well. If you're style-challenged or in doubt, just look at some fashion store's website and buy whatever ensembles their models are wearing and wear them that way. And get good quality basic clothes - a fitted t shirt will make you look like somebody even tho it's just a t shirt, but one off the rack at Wal Mart will malke you look like a scrub. Women notice this stuff.

 

Also what kind of look do you carry around on your face? Some ppl's resting face can be dour or gruff depending on life experience or possibly what kind of work you're in, so look at yourself in the mirror and let your face go slack to what it usually is. Is that something someone wants to see? If not, practice putting a half-smile on your face. (That may sound silly, but srsly, practice it.) Women like to see an affable face for the most part. Not over-eager or goofy but good-natured. Also fix your hair if you're hair-challenged. Again, look at fashion models and pick out sth that suits you, or better yet go to a salon and ask the stylist what would look good on you.

 

Unless you're srsly deficient in a way you're not letting on here, for the most part, guys who look after those few simple things will get a few happy look-backs once in a while. You'll never get them all the time or even a lot of the time so forget that fantasy - sometime women are just busy or preoccupied regardless - but just cut the low percentage 'approaches,' fix yourself up a bit, be personable, and things will be alright.

 

btw what's an IOI lol? Incendiary explosive device? Acronyms are corny IRL so drop those too.

[Empire87]

Something that always worked for me was knowing that the odds were that the girl was gonna turn me down to begin with and therefore having nothing to lose by going up to her. And that has nothing to do with my self confidence or approach, it's just due to the awareness that even if you're the most suave guy in the world and have a great look/approach, the majority of girls just instinctually deflect a random guys approach or attempt to interact. That's just the way of the world.

 

So if I'm out at a comedy club with some friends, or I'm at a wedding, and walk up to the bar to grab a drink and stand in line next to a pretty girl, who cares if I get into her line of sight and ask "you crashing this wedding too or do you know the bride/groom?" Light heartedly and break the ice. If you notice a new girl at work or who is in the same building, seeing her in the elevator or hallway "hey, how's it going, don't mean to barge in but are you new here? Thought I'd say hello and introduce myself incase you need a lay of the land or "who's who" "

 

Might not work for everyone but just simple things to break the ice that have nothing to do with a pick up line or making it seem like your hitting on them. Just start a convo because you're socializing. If a girl just thinks you're talking and gets the vibe that you're not pressing for anything in return, it works in your favor because she'll lower her guard and then slowly you can win her over.

 

Understand that in person dating will usually take more than just one time to get the girl to give you her number and accept a date. So utilize your social group, and people you know to get into the setting where you're meeting people or around others. If you're just out at a bar and go up to a girl, then it relies more on getting her number and doing the follow up work to win her over. The follow up text to make sure you have a line of communication open, the initial offer to take her out on a date. That's all in your control.

[AMJ]

Approaching women in public, not in a bar, is dicey. I'd almost never respond to someone who just said, "Hey, what's up" unless you are hands-down the hottest man I've ever seen. Personally, I respond best to humor. If you can make me laugh, I'll talk to you. But that's not easy to do either. I don't like it when men try to talk to me at the gym. I'm still blown away by the guy who wrote me a poem on a napkin at a bar. The most original and creative approach ever, not to mention romantic. Plus it was a great poem. He wasn't even attractive at all, but he got my attention. What are your strengths? Funny, smart, something else altogether?

[Jabron1]

Practice opening anyone with no intention, no neediness and no desire other than to exchange pleasantries.

 

As my father used to say, 'a want is very different from a need'

 

2. Finding strong IOI's. I've dated some very attractive females in the past, and get lots of Tinder matches but when I'm out in public, women don't show any sign of interest, not even the less attractive ones if you know what I mean. They seem to avoid eye contact or completely ignore or just don't seemed phased and just walk right by. I'm not saying girls should be staring at me, but I can't even find any IOI's ever..can't remember the last time a girl showed me any. If I knew she was at least a little interested, I wouldn't hesitate to approach, and I'm sure I'd come off less awkward, but seeing that I don't get any IOIs I'm forced to go into things completely cold.

 

I bet that you are, and you just aren't seeing it.

 

It's an experience thing. You get your first 100 approaches under your belt, and your senses will sharpen up. You will start picking up on all sorts of different things that you didn't before. In fact, it'll probably change your life, your outlook, and your understanding of what's possible.

 

Besides, this whole IOI business gets used as an excuse not to approach. Another way of trying to assure that we don't face rejection. You will go through a lot of rejections, you need to accept that.

 

Seriously, do not get hung up on getting IOIs. It already seems to be messing with your head.

 

If you're starting out, then just consider every approach as a victory. Most guys don't have the balls to do what you just did. Pat yourself on the back.

 

Then you'll start getting numbers that go nowhere. You'll start experimenting with taking girls on same day dates, but you'll probably f*ck them up.

 

It's a learning process. You aren't going to turn libertine overnight.

 

I'm still blown away by the guy who wrote me a poem on a napkin at a bar. The most original and creative approach ever, not to mention romantic. Plus it was a great poem. He wasn't even attractive at all, but he got my attention.

 

Did he earn himself a hot date?

[hasaquestion]

And so you walk around like a whipped dog based on the inevitable negative experiences. (And probably project that image front and center.)

 

If you're having trouble getting any workable feedback, look at the simple stuff - do you dress reasonably well? Even your grubby clothes should fit you well. If you're style-challenged or in doubt, just look at some fashion store's website and buy whatever ensembles their models are wearing and wear them that way. And get good quality basic clothes - a fitted t shirt will make you look like somebody even tho it's just a t shirt, but one off the rack at Wal Mart will malke you look like a scrub. Women notice this stuff.

 

Also what kind of look do you carry around on your face? Some ppl's resting face can be dour or gruff depending on life experience or possibly what kind of work you're in, so look at yourself in the mirror and let your face go slack to what it usually is. Is that something someone wants to see? If not, practice putting a half-smile on your face. (That may sound silly, but srsly, practice it.) Women like to see an affable face for the most part. Not over-eager or goofy but good-natured. Also fix your hair if you're hair-challenged. Again, look at fashion models and pick out sth that suits you, or better yet go to a salon and ask the stylist what would look good on you.

 

Unless you're srsly deficient in a way you're not letting on here, for the most part, guys who look after those few simple things will get a few happy look-backs once in a while. You'll never get them all the time or even a lot of the time so forget that fantasy - sometime women are just busy or preoccupied regardless - but just cut the low percentage 'approaches,' fix yourself up a bit, be personable, and things will be alright.

 

btw what's an IOI lol? Incendiary explosive device? Acronyms are corny IRL so drop those too.

 

This is good advice.

 

About clothes... a very large percentage of dudes fall into one of these following categories:

1. Don't care how they look, get grubby clothes from Walmart or the like.

2. Clothes don't fit.

3. Get tacky stuff from department stores.

4. Wear loud or expensive crap just because its loud or expensive.

 

Being "well dressed" in 2016 is a low bar to clear. In 1916 one had to have boss three-piece suits, a monocle, a pocket watch. In 2016? Just get your clothes tailored, pay attention to fabric, clean and classic and you're ahead of most.

[AMJ]

 

Did he earn himself a hot date?

 

He actually seemed more interested in writing poems about me than dating me. That night, he walked over, tossed the napkin at me, then scurried away. My friends started laughing, and so did I, until I read the poem. Then it was like- WOW. I had to go over to talk to him. He was really nervous and shy. I think he asked for my email instead of my number, actually. This happened while I was living in DC for a short time, and I think I was moving back to CA a week or two later. But we did keep in touch for awhile, and he did continue to write poems for me. We're still Facebook friends, I think he's married now. And still writing badass poems.

 

I guess if there's anything to learn, it's to know your strengths and lead with those. This guy would never have known how to just talk to me, he was a shy and awkward guy, but he found his own way to get my attention and keep it. And then he acted a little uninterested in dating me (in this case, because he thought I'd never agree to go out with him), classically this made me more intrigued.

 

Most importantly, for me at least, is that his poem wasn't just saying "wow you're really hot", but he'd been watching me and seemed to understand deeper qualities about my personality. Anytime someone admires me for more than my appearance, I'm going to be responsive.

 

Everyone is different, and lots of women will probably respond just fine to the easier yet more shallow compliments about their appearance. It all depends on what you're really looking for.

[flamingo_legs]

I'm a little late to this thread, but contextual conversation is always more interesting to me than random "hey, how are you doing?". It sort of tricks the listener into participating in a low-pressure conversation without being defensive. You are talking to a stranger after all! Also, that way as the approacher, you get a read on the person's mood and how they feel about you. Of course this is easier outside of big cities, but there are casual places this would work I'm sure.

 

Small talk is a lost art!

 

Most people like interesting conversation though, so no matter the situation... a bar, picking up takeaway at a chinese place, etc. You are already being judged by the lady, by the way. She's taking into account your general way you dress, your mannerisms (which determine if you're a threat or not), and also how harmless, open, friendly you might be.... all in subtle ways. The trick is to be ultra casual and harmless, and she will have an easier time talking to you. Easier said than done.

Edited April 3, 2016 by flamingo_legs

[JustGettingBy]

This is good advice.

 

About clothes... a very large percentage of dudes fall into one of these following categories:

1. Don't care how they look, get grubby clothes from Walmart or the like.

2. Clothes don't fit.

3. Get tacky stuff from department stores.

4. Wear loud or expensive crap just because its loud or expensive.

 

Being "well dressed" in 2016 is a low bar to clear. In 1916 one had to have boss three-piece suits, a monocle, a pocket watch. In 2016? Just get your clothes tailored, pay attention to fabric, clean and classic and you're ahead of most.

 

The thing is other than #2, all that stuff is subjective. What makes something 'grubby', 'tacky', or 'loud'? What's 'tacky' to one woman may be 'endearing' to another.

[LookAtThisPOst]

That's usually the reaction I've gotten from women in public. Even while waiting in line and there's an awkward silence of us waiting on our orders.

 

One time I was ordering coffee from a barista and the woman near me did the same, but we both waited while both orders were being made. I had asked about the particular brew she ordered as I've never tried it...wondered what it was like.

 

But all I got was a cold, brief reception...lacking inflection.

 

Some women aren't opened to being approached, unless it's at a social event of sorts...like a pool party, BBQ at a friend's house, etc.

 

In the "good ol days" my parents and our parents parents met in the cold turkey fashion during a time where women didn't have an attitude about it.