[planning for a separation and possible divorce from my wife]

[nowaygoingthereagain]

Hi,

 

Is this the best forum to start considering and planning for a separation and possible divorce from my wife. Here is a bit about me, I am not ready but I think it is only time before we grow apart. We have two beautiful teenage children. We are both type A and high strung. Communication and possibly expectations are an issue. I am not aware of her having an affair. I have had multiple indiscretions in the past, which I have sought therapy for, and only one that was kind of piercing because our lifestyles at the time intersected. This happen several years ago and my wife is aware. The others were less than a one-night deal and happened at a much younger age when I was more on some sort of power trip.

 

I want to love my wife and cherish her but I don't think I can truly be true to myself or her, especially since we have more communications issues than not. Can someone with some expertise in this forum please point me to the right direction for help?

[nowaygoingthereagain]

Am I in the wrong forum for this question?

[CarrieT]

Am I in the wrong forum for this question?

 

Sorry for the lack of response. This whole site gets considerably more traffic during weekdays (presumably people at work) versus weekends - and especially a holiday, so you might want to bump this thread up tomorrow if you don't get more responses.

 

To answer your previous question, I'm not sure what you are looking for... Are you saying that you have already emotionally checked out of the marriage and are ready to call it quits? Does your wife know this?

 

You state that you have communication issues but it sounds very much like it is on your side if you haven't confessed all your infidelities. That would be the best first step - either towards reconciliation or towards divorce.

[S2B]

Since you state that it's communication issues that are the roadblock - were you completely honest with your wife two years ago? Did you ever tell her that affair was physical?

 

It's hard to connect with a spouse when one half is still hiding their truth.

 

How much honesty have you offered to your wife?

[sandylee1]

See a divorce lawyer to get an idea of how things would look in a divorce. From your post ... you are not invested in her as a wife and it's only a matter of time before you cheat again with this level of disconnect.

 

I would suggest marriage counselling but it can't make you love someone. The best thing is to set her free to find happiness with another man and you can find a new love for yourself.